being a mom

daniel and haircuts

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Oh the time we dread the most with Daniel; cutting his hair.

Our parents keep bugging us to cut his hair and we keep telling them we want to keep it long and tie it up in a ponytail. Truth is, we are so nervous to bring him to the hairdresser because HE SCREAMS AND CRIES when people touch his hair. Or when he sees the scissors coming near. Scaredy-cat, this one. Just like his momma. You bring me to a dentist, I’ll make you a scene you will remember forever.

Anyway, we’ve been putting it off for a while. You know, doing a favour for the salon community and all its customers. But now that his fringe is already poking eyes and he’s starting to bump into walls and stuff, ok fine, it’s time to suck it up and go to the salon.

As we walk into the salon, I take a deep breath…. and send my telepathic sorry in advance.

  The moment Daniel saw the scissors and heard the hairdryers being used on the innocent people in the salon, he started clutching Dean real tight and squirm when Dean tries to put him on the seat. The guy had to hide his scissors first but still Daniel could sense the metal tool in his pocket. He climbed on to his dad and refused to let go off Dean’s neck, going “Nanak, nanak. No, no!” It literally was as if we were torturing him. Relax dude, we’re trimming your hair. It’s not like we’re telling you Hi-5 canceled their show or something, sheesh.

So I had to bring out the big guns; my phone ready with an episode of Hi-5.

The guy had to wrap the cutting hair cape thing around both Dean and Daniel since Daniel refused to let his dad go. And me? I’m that monkey dancing around to Hi-5 music in front of Daniel holding a phone to his face. Even so, Daniel was crying and shaking his head no while the hairdresser tried so hard to cut his hair without accidentally hurting Daniel with the sharp scissors. It was horrifying to watch because Daniel kept moving and the scissors is like an inch away from his head!

After what seemed like 5 years, the hairdresser (who had sweat on his face by now) finally got to trim all sections of Daniel’s hair. We had to tip him good. It’s only the right thing to do, poor kind soul.

Sigh, Daniel Azim Shah; the reason hairdressers want to rethink their career paths.

fashion and shopping pd daily

the waist

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The wrap jacket.

To me, there’s nothing more feminine about our bodies than our waist. The waist is the element that makes the female’s hourglass silhouette and cinching it with a tiny belt makes all the difference in giving a woman some shape. I’ve always been inspired by classic style icons like Audrey Hepburn who always made a point to look graceful and soft – and most of her outfit choices are ones which accentuate the waist (btw did you know her waist is abnormally small – she grew up in poverty and apparently does not eat much as a habit – swear I didn’t make that up, it was in her book).

I wish more local designers made wrap tops / wrap dresses and am happy to have found this kimono wrap jacket to keep me warm in my cold office!

Wearing wrap jacket (detachable belt if you prefer a loose look) from Mimpikita, flats from Nelissa Hilman, mens watch from Daniel Wellington and Milkshake satin silk scarf from dUCk, all FashionValet. 

being a mom travel tales

day trip

One advice I would give newlyweds who are putting having kids on hold first is: TRAVEL AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. After having Daniel and Mariam, my passport basically never gets taken out of the drawer. I hardly travel anymore and even with work, Dean and the FV seniors have to take over and do the traveling without me. The realities of being a mom; you just can’t leave your children, nor would you want to! Of course, this is a choice you make but mannnn my dear dear husband is just on another level with that principle.

I suggested the idea of him and me going on a short getaway to celebrate the birth of Mariam… without Mariam.

Option 1: Go somewhere really nice… without the kids. – Dean almost teared at this idea when he thought of Daniel and Mariam sleeping without their parents. I almost passed him a tissue.

Ok so scrap Option 1.

Option 2: Go somewhere really nice… with the kids. – The thought of having 2 babies and strollers and diaper bags and walking to explore an exotic country… oh man, I couldn’t have exited the Expedia window on my laptop fast enough.

Scrap Option 2. I’m sooo not ready to travel with 2 babies.

Option 3: Go somewhere really near… without the kids. – Dean and I sat on this idea for a while. I suggested Singapore several times and Dean would just tell me he will think about it. Grrrrrrr. Singapore come onnnnn, that’s just like 30 steps away. Let’s. Go. Now! I brought up the idea every now and then just to have the idea exist in his mind.

One day at lunch, he said to me, grinning from ear to ear. “Baby, I have a surprise for you. You’re going to love this.”

Duh, he’s taking me to Singapore. He better take me to Singapore. I’ve mentioned the S word like 5 times this week.

“Oooohhh, what is it? What is it?”

“Come on, guess!” 

You better say yes after I say Singapore.

“I don’t know. Tell me!”

“I’m taking you to Singapore!”

Duh.

“Nooooo wayyyyyy! Yayyy that’s so cooooollll!” 

Who knew the island could give me so much joy.

“Yep, I’ve cleared out my schedule to take you on this trip. It will just be a day trip, though.”

A day what now? Did he say…. day trip? Super cut cost ah this CEO very clever. And wow he is #suchadad, doesn’t even want to leave his kids for one night. Ughhh fine, I’ll take whatever I can get.

At the airport, I was smelling my newly renewed passport. Ahhh, smells like freedom. I took pictures of it, I took pictures of the immigration (apparently not allowed, oops), took pictures of the plane, inside the plane, outside the plane… Dean basically walked few steps away from me, embarrassed by it all. “What, this is what happens when you don’t let me travel,” I passed him the phone, “Ok take my picture standing here.”

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With Malaque from Singapore

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I know you want to pass my 80 cents change but wait ah uncle I take picture first.

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My mandatory Singapore activity; ice cream with roti. Loveeeeee.

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Bye bye Singapore.

In the end, it became a work trip because we squeezed in meetings throughout the very short getaway. But I’m still thankful because I had an awesome day! And coming home to Daniel and Mariam after a long tiring day of walking around Singapore (it’s not actually that small!) was just the perfect ending to my day.

Wearing satin silk dUCK, fishtail top from FV BASICS, and grey skirt from When Our Eyes Met, all from FashionValet.

fashion and shopping pd daily

front and back

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What I love about this top is that I can reverse it, so I can even wear the panel on the front. As I did here when I was pregnant.

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A two in one feature is something everyone appreciates when we shop!

Wearing Marshmallow scarf from dUCk, top from Mastuli Khalid (comes in white or red), skants from FV BASICS, all from FashionValet.

being a mom being pregnant

mariam’s labor story: the LV bag lady

You’ll have to read Mariam’s Labor Story Part 1 first.

See, normal people will have their epidural maybe at 5-6 cm dilation. Your Proudduck here on the other hand… not such a proud duck when it comes to pain. 1 cm and am already cursing the walls and floors and doors and windows for merely existing.

10 am:

“Hold on, let me get you a wheelchair, Madam,” the polite nurse says to me after I’ve begged her for epidural for the fifth time.

I was already walking out the living room door. “Jom, jom, let’s go labour room now. No time for wheelchair,” I pulled Dean’s hands as I paddled my way through the corridor, clenching my fist and my face probably so pale in pain. “Oh wait, don’t forget my phone please.”

In the labour room, there was another lady about to give birth. I had to pass her room to get to mine. Her door was open and I immediately saw her gorgeous LV bag on the counter. Oooohh, I thought to myself, nice colour. For that 5 seconds, I forgot about contractions.

10.15 am:

As the nurse was preparing the sheets for my labor bed, she told me about that lady next door about to give birth. “She came in at 9 cm dilated, and it was too late for us to give her an epidural. She’s on gas now for pain reduction.”

“9 cm dilated and just gas? Oohhh poor girl,” I sympathized while sipping the straw of my Yeo’s Lychee drink. Ahhh, nice and cold.

AAAAHHHHHHHHH!

That wasn’t me, guys. That was the poor lady next door.

All my bodily hair even the ones on my toes just went 90 degrees. I jumped to hug Dean. “What on earth… omg I’m so scared for her… I want to cry… I’m so scared for me omg…”

AAAAHHHHHH!!! 

There she goes again, my poor poor too-late-for-epidural-9-cm-dilated-now-maybe-9.5cm-dilated neighbor. She’s right behind this wall, guys! In soooo much pain. I could feel her pain omg. Her screams were really making my contractions stronger, I swear.

I hugged Dean even tighter. “I can’t listen to her give birth. I’m so scared. Please we have to change rooms,” I begged him.

10.30 am:

We managed to move to 2 rooms away from the poor lady about to give birth. I made doa for her, guys. Listening to her in so much pain… like wow, any woman would want to cross her legs shut. God bless her. And God bless whoever invented epidural.

The nurses brought some bread and jam for me to eat. Same menu as Daniel’s labor too. I smiled as I spread the raspberry jam on the slice of bread. There was the baby bed next to me.

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I smiled at my huge belly thinking in just a bit, my little daughter is going to be born. I had butterflies in my tummy with excitement, I can’t wait to meet this little angel. She’s going to be put right there in just a few hours.

Then…. AHHHH!

Faintly, but surely…. “OMG IS THAT HER?! We can still hear her from here?! I told Dean and ran to the toilet. “I’m just going to stay in here until the epidural doctor comes.” I told him as I sat on the toilet bowl covering my ears through her screams.

“No no, that’s not her screaming, baby,” Dean comforted me nervously. I could tell he was shaken by it too. “That’s umm… her sneezing.”

AHHHHHH!!

“Chooo! Alhamdulillah,” Dean quickly exclaimed after. “See, see she’s sneezing.”

AHHHHHHHHH!

“Chooo! Alhamdulillah,” Dean did it again, holding my hand tight in the toilet. “See… wow, that’s a serious flu bug she has.”

“Nice try. I’m not leaving this toilet until the doctor comes.”

Then suddenly, the screaming stopped. And we heard a baby crying sound. “Awww her baby’s out,” Dean said to me, smiling. “Awww, Alhamdulillah for our neighbor. Her baby’s safely out….”

Great. Lucky chick. She’s done and I’m still here with my 1cm cervix, hugging walls and all.

10.45 am:

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 Can barely type properly anymore.

11.15 am:

Epidural doctor finally came! I almost flung my hospital robe away so that he can stick the needle in my back quickly. He could tell I was in a lot of pain so there was no time for the how-are-you-oohhh-nice-weather-outside chit chat.

He did the epidural on me while I hugged Dean and instantly I felt a burden being lifted. I couldn’t feel the contraction pains anymore and I could finally sit smiling. I don’t know why people are so scared of the epidural, it really is just like getting a normal jab on your arm. I would really highly recommend just two things in life; shopping at FashionValet…. and taking the epidural.

Because of the epidural, I also had to have the IV drip (which seriously hurts more! I hate that thing).

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Since I couldn’t walk anymore since I had tubes attached to me, I just rested on the bed with Dean by my side. He read the Quran and I too attempted to do so. But a few minutes later, I started to feel a bit funny…. Something was a bit off…..

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Till the next and final part! I’m too sleepy to continue, plus it’s Monday workday tomorrow. Will finish the labour story soon! In the meantime, remember to take epidural.

being a mom working girl

working mom guilt

I’ve had such a hectic week, as you might have guessed with the lack of blogposts for a couple of days (I try to blog everyday!). Suddenly now, after returning to work full swing, my schedule has been filling up with meetings, sample previews from brands and shoots. Which is really awesome because I love being busy and I love my job. A lot is going on now, especially after our recent funding, and I hope to be able to blog about it all when I find the time.

But leaving work now is getting harder and harder. Not so much for Mariam (she really couldn’t care less what with all her busy schedule of sleeps all day -___-”), but definitely for Daniel. He is 20 months now and he loves to play with us, especially with Dean. They would laugh and roll over everywhere, enjoying each other’s company. While I’ll be there taking videos of them with one hand, and holding Mariam on the other.

So anyway, whenever we leave for work, Daniel will cry so much. Like proper tears streaming down his cheeks. He would hug our Dean’s legs, and go “Daddy, Daddyyyyyy,” and this will break Dean’s heart (remember, he is the weaker parent between us two). I am slightly stronger in this sense, but even so, it is still hard when I think about Daniel missing us. I’ve seen him walk into our bedroom and going Mommyyy? Daddyyyy? while looking for us even behind the curtains. Only to realise we have left. And then he would cry. It’s really hard because you want to be there for him but you still have to be at work.

I had an interview for Bella NTV7 this week talking about just this. The working mom guilt. I was the youngest mom there so of course the most inexperienced. I learned a lot from the other moms on the panel, and thought I should share that episode with other moms out there.

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Wearing Shadow scarf from dUCk and PU3 organza sweater, both from FashionValet.

Hurry up and learn how to use the computer so Mommy can take you to work with me, Daniel.

fashion and shopping pd daily

the ivy top

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When Scha Alyahya and our team designed this top, we just sighed. It turned out everything we wanted it to be, dreamy and soft, probably the most feminine piece in our collaboration collection. Scha’s request was for her collection to be affordable without compromising quality. It was a tall order, but we did it in the end! I’m so happy almost all pieces are sold out and now we are left with odd sizes here and there, so try your luck in case we have your size!

This organza top is called Ivy, comes in black and white, and retails at only RM 159.

Wearing Mangosteen satin silk scarf from dUCk, watch from Daniel Wellington and top from Scha Alyahya for FV, all via FashionValet.