being a mrs growing up love

what if

My dad never lets us buy greeting cards. To him, it’s more meaningful to make one for your loved ones and I completely agree. It’s not just the effort, but it’s also really fun when you look at your memories and you compose words from the heart. He probably thought it was cheaper to ask your kids to draw you a simple card (Hallmark cards were like 15 bucks back then, still a lot of money!) but little did he know that scrapbooking is soooo expensive. One sheet of stickers is like 40 bucks. What someone should’ve told him was the existence of virtual e-cards. Haha. Free!

Anyway, in all seriousness I really appreciate this value that my dad imposed on my sister and I. I can’t wait till Daniel and Baby M grow up and the cards I’ll be getting from them. I will have to practise my fake “This is the most gorgeous card I have ever seen, you guys are so talented!” expression when they give me cards with scribbles of crayons on them.

I was spring cleaning today and found this.

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A scrapbook I made for Dean for our 3 year anniversary. I had graduated and returned home to Malaysia, while Dean had one more year to complete his Masters. So a combination of long-distance-sappiness, having-too-much-time and Brian McKnight songs on the radio, I produced this 16-page thing, complete with its own metal tin box.

I smile looking at it now, but at the back of my head, a question played.

“What if we didn’t end up getting married?!”

If we didn’t end up together, I would feel soooo stupid if my husband or his wife saw that! It would have been a total waste of effort and time, and like 20 sheets of RM 40 stickers. -___- Sooo phewwww we ended up marrying each other. If we didn’t, I’d be kicking myself in the head for being so foolish as a young girl.

I know a lot of young girls read Proudduck, so if you guys read this, take this advice from me: Give your best effort to your husband, not your boyfriend. Be a little stingy with your love and focus on your parents at this point, because nothing is a sure thing except for them. You’ll have all the time in the world to be sweet and romantic with your husband later on.

being a mom being a mrs headscarves lifestyle working girl

an introduction to #staybeautiful

I was having a casual lunch in the office with some guests and all of a sudden the topic was pantang (confinement). We all shared how our confinement experiences were and mannn it was like a universal thing; PANTANG IS DEPRESSING! And why not; that’s when our bodies go through changes, we have flabby pooches after 9 months of big stretch, we have stretch marks, we have engorged breasts, we smell with all the herbs and whatnot, we can’t eat and drink BigMacs and all things yummy, and the most life-changing thing of all… we are now moms responsible for a human being (or two, if God gave you twins you superwoman you!).

Rewinding my life 16 months ago, I still remember the day we brought Daniel home. I think I was pale the whole day because on top of the overwhelmed miracle of having a child, I was so scared. I didn’t even prepare diapers at home, I was sure I was going to screw this motherhood thing up, even if I tried. Haha. Pantang was definitely hard for me, being someone who’s always on the go and who loves working. Confining me to four walls did not go down well; had daily fights with my mom, cries uncontrollably to Dean, and on top of that, I was breastfeeding around the clock with Daniel! While crying!!

It was not sexy. Haha.

It gets easier, I realize. Each day with Daniel is more beautiful and I can’t imagine life without my beautiful son. But it’s true what they say; say goodbye to the old you!

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Then: “Sure, let’s go for a movie. Pick me up in 10 mins!”

Now: “Oh, that’s when Daniel naps. Is there another movie time? Oh I can’t either, that’s when he has his meal.”

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Then: “Sure, drinks after work? Let’s go!”

Now: “Oh I can’t. I really have to get home to my son, I really miss him when I’m at work. You guys have fun!”

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Then: “Dinner last night was so good. We had Thai food that was delicious!”

Now: “Wait… did I even have dinner last night, I can’t remember…”

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Then: “Look at my gorgeous nails. Had them coloured and cleaned at the salon earlier.”

Now: *hides unkempt nails and cuticles*

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Then: “I had such good sleep last night. 10 hours of just rest!”

Now: “I haven’t seen my bed in a year.”

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Ok I exaggerate. But my point is life has changed completely. And although I love my life so much, I do wish I had more “me” time. And guess what… again this is a universal thing. ALL MOMS I MEET SAY THE SAME THING.

When P&G approached dUCk to collaborate on this special campaign, I wanted to know more. When they told me about the #StayBeautiful campaign, oh goddddd they had me at “Moms need more me time.” SOLD!!!!

It’s such a beautiful and heartwarming campaign, seriously. Watch this video.

 So so so so true!!! I literally wanted to pick up these babies when I watched this video. I felt guilty, and they’re not even my children!!

Moms have no choice. We have been sprinkled with Mom Guilt Powder all over us after delivering our children, I’m telling you. No matter how hectic or how important something is, we would always always put our children first. That’s just how this magical Powder works, guys.

So it was really nice of P&G to acknowledge moms and remind moms (or rather, our husbands!) that we also need our “me” time and we also need to #staybeautiful. Be it a pampering session, or a girl’s getaway (*cough*London*cough*) or anything at all, I think moms deserve it.

So from dUCk, we’d like to give all Malaysian moms a gift from our hearts. A design collaboration from dUCk’s brand ambassador D and myself, we came up with a special #StayBeautiful dUCk scarf just for you. You get it free!! But wait, I will pour out more details soon. I also won’t reveal the design or what’s special about it just yet… Stay tuned for those!

We had our campaign shoot with P&G recently and here are some pictures to share:

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The beautiful reflective packaging that we came up with for this collaboration with P&G. Details coming sooooonnnnn!

fashion and shopping

#fvpayviafpx

So you guys know how online shopping at FV works right?

After you add things to basket and checkout, you have to choose which payment method to choose. Some choose Credit Card, some  choose Direct Bank In (more conservative method of paying but mafan because you have to physically bank in to the deposit machine), some choose Paypal.

Buttttttt we’re having this FPX campaign now and it’s come to the Grand Prize of winning RM 800 in wardrobe just like that. So I felt the need to remind you guys that this campaign is ending.

Basically, if you choose FPX (which is just Online Banking – arrow in picture below) when you pay, you are automatically in the running to win this campaign. There are 2 winners weekly who get the cash vouchers.

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So now is the time to use your Online Banking as a method of payment (CIMB Clicks, Maybank2u, PBebank, etc etc) because without realizing, you could just win this weekly prize.

These are our previous winners. (We’ve been running this campaign for 7 weeks already now).

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We will be announcing the two 8th week winners (final winners) on 26 November 2014.

So, could one of our two lucky 8th week winners be you?

growing up

life got real

Someone I’m close to is having a real adult dilemma and she has to make a choice that will affect other areas in her life and her future. When she told me, I looked up from my phone to think about it more and tried to analyze the situation objectively. I just couldn’t. It was just blank in my brain. It was really hard. This was just one of those things where you wish there was a life manual or a clear sign in the sky saying YES or NO. I really didn’t know what to type because I had no idea what to do either.

It really made me think a bit more about life and how grown up we all have become. Reading my previous posts back when I was in uni made me smile, reminiscing about how my biggest worries were what dessert to eat that day or which route to take home from school. Back then, the “hard” decisions could easily be answered by shaking a Magic 8 ball furiously. Now, life is just so serious; which business deal to take, how to pay home mortgages, how to raise your children, which career path do I take, is it ok to bring my family to start life in another country, all such big commitments especially if you have dependents under you like your wife and children… when did life get so REAL??

I don’t see this in a negative light though because well, (a) it’s part of growing up, and (b) we’ve all had our carefree fun days so we’ve had our fair share of fun. Now let’s have real challenges in life. I personally think there is no right or wrong answer and the more you think about it, the crazier you will become when trying to reason out too much. There are pros and cons to everything in life, and in everything you do there are risks and opportunity costs. We just have to decide (after some research and homework of course, please don’t blindly make adult decisions based purely on the heart), and when we do, never look back. There will be ups and downs in whatever you do, so don’t kick yourself in the head thinking that the other path not taken was the right one. Because had you taken that path, there will still be ups and downs too.

Love life, and make the best of everything that comes your way. Life is short, so it’s up to us to turn everything into a positive thing. YOLO, to a certain extent, I guess. Hehe.

As for this close person of mine, I pray that God gives her strength and happiness to go through anything that comes her way, whatever decision she makes. That’s the best thing a friend can do in these kinds of tricky situation; make doa for their happiness, always.

fashion and shopping pd daily

leather power

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Leather jackets are tricky in the Malaysian weather so I usually only wear them at night for dressier events. Not for a family dinner or anything haha. But this time, I wore it to smarten my look for a fashion week event. Loved how I felt as soon as I put it on; an instant air of can’t-sit-with-us confidence. Haha! You should try it!

Wearing leather jacket from Haflins, top from Indonesian designer BINCA and scarf from dUCk, all FashionValet. Heels from Aldo, bag from Celine, pants from Uniqlo, sunnies from Rayban. 

being pregnant

am i a whale?

Didn’t think my previous post would stir up so much, I received a lot of emails from angry moms accompanied with words of encouragement. Thanks for the love guys, Masyaallah!! But I’m really ok! Was just angry that night and I’m pretty much over it by now. Husbands play such an important role in our lives and I’m super lucky to have Dean who knows how to handle me. In the weirdest most non-romantic way possible. But it works haha.

This was us yesterday:

After looking in the mirror with my ever growing bump (and thighs and arms and face, let’s not get me started shall we?), I noticed that I have gained weight even more than when I was pregnant with Daniel. Mannn… I read that pregnant women should expect to balloon up so being skinny should never be in our minds. I get it, and don’t worry, I’m not about to starve on a diet! Every woman will have to endure the weight gain which we can lose after birth, but still… months of being “fat” is just not a fun period to have mirrors in the house. *cries*

There’s nothing I can do about it, so… what are husbands for.

I plumped myself next to Dean on the sofa. He was innocently watching The Voice.

“Baby, am I a whale?” I asked Dean in the most manja aka the most dangerous tone, expecting only ONE answer.

“Of course not!” He said, giving me the utmost satisfaction. Clever husband.

“Ok, but I feel like a whale….” I wasn’t done being a mengada wife, as you can see.

“Oh, but you’re not,” he said stroking my hair. “Hey! Did you know whales are mammals?” Dean asked.

“Uhh… yeah I guess.”

“So are dolphins. But what about whalesharks?”

“Uhhh… they’re mammals too… I guess.”

“Do you think penguins are mammals?”

“Maybe….?”

Dean laughed. “You don’t know if penguins are mammals?”

“Of course I do,” I answered defensively, I’m never one to admit defeat. “It depends which penguins you’re talking about as there are a lot of penguin species,” my proud as-a-matter-of-fact answer.

“Is that so?”

And he went on asking me if elephants and reptiles are mammals.

After a while, I was thinking howwwww on earth did a manja am-I-fat conversation get to mammals and reptiles… he swerved the dangerous topic so smoothly to some other super non-romantic topic and got me quietly googling “Are Penguins Mammals?”. My cellulites were the last thing in my mind after that. Thank you, dear husband.

Now… I bet you’re going to google if penguins are mammals or not.

being a mom being pregnant

womb worries

I can’t sleep.

So today, FV had a fashion show in KL Fashion Weekend and I seriously could not be prouder of my team. They did everything from A to Z and managed the show so smoothly, I was so so pleased as I goyang kaki in the front row clapping my hands furiously for our company. Amazing team I have.

But I still can’t sleep. Because something happened as I was being interviewed by the media.

I’m used to difficult questions and being put on the spot. I usually just smile, act cool and answer whatever I think sounds the least stupid. Usually everything turns out ok, but if not, I just hope and pray it wasn’t a very popular channel interviewing me. Hehe. But today was no laughing matter for me.

After this one lady asked questions about the event and I thanked her for her support etc, she pulled me back few minutes later and said “Oh I forgot to ask you one more question. This one’s about motherhood. Very easy and fast.” So I said ok. I was all cheerful and eager, until she asked me this… “You’re a mom. What if this happened to you?” and she shoved me her phone with a video of a deformed baby being born. Bundled innocently in the hospital blanket, this baby’s face was distorted with eyes and nose and mouth linked together to become one unidentifiable feature.

I was immediately taken aback and as a reflex, my hands clutched my tummy protectively. My heart ached watching that baby and I could not believe she was asking me this question. Does she not see I’m so big and pregnant? Does she think it’s ok to ask a pregnant lady what she will feel if her baby came out deformed?

But so many people were around us. A videocamera was zooming into my face with a striking red light and I had to compose myself. This was all being recorded. I did not want to embarrass her nor myself so I kept my cool and answered the question however best I could. To be honest, I can’t even remember what I said.

“So what would you do? Would you keep the baby or abort it? Imagine if he or she only had 5 days to live…” she probed me some more.

Again, I slurred some answers that I can barely remember.

Wow. Just wow.

There I was carrying a child in me, and without any warning, being forced to watch a video of one of my biggest fears. And then being asked to imagine that it happened to me…

I get that she was just asking opinions for an unrelated show, but I honestly think that things could have been done with more finesse. Perhaps do a little homework on the subjects before interviewing them. What if they’ve gone through something that painful before and would not want to talk about it? What if they’re pregnant and that’s something they worry about everyday? What if that’s a topic the person is not comfortable talking about? If she had asked “Would you mind if I interview you on a topic of abortion?” I would appreciate that greatly so I know what her idea of an “easy motherhood topic” was all about. Putting a pregnant lady on the spot and showing me a video of an innocent baby with a deformed face…. that’s just way out of line.

I think moms would understand this. You see, the last thing a pregnant woman wants to think about is her baby being deformed. Every single day of our pregnancy, for 40 whole weeks, all we worry about is whether our child will come out looking as perfect as God allows him or her to be. Whether or not he/she will have 10 fingers and 10 toes. Everyday I’m making doa Ya Allah, please protect this child in me and please let him or her be as healthy and as perfect as possible. If Nauzubillah, Allah swt tests me with something I probably don’t think I’m strong enough to endure, then I will deal with it the best I can. But as a person who is carrying a child and is constantly praying for his/her wellbeing which is beyond my control, to be asked so bluntly “Hey, would you abort your child?”…. aww man that is the least cool thing you can ask me. Abortion is a very delicate topic, and it is never a straightforward yes or no kind of question. No one will be able to give an answer, even parents who have to go through it probably would be banging their heads on the wall because it is so so tough.

I can’t tell you how angry I feel right now. If I was a doctor or a person who volunteered to be interviewed on this, then yes fine, ask me anything you want. But this isn’t a topic I wanted to talk about during pregnancy and worse, there is no way to erase the video from my brain. I am so affected by the video, I keep having images in my head, I feel like crying thinking about it and to think all of this could have been avoided if she knew how to be more courteous around delicate subjects such as these. She is probably still going about her job, asking people if they’d abort their child, and having a nice dinner afterwards. And me? I’m just left thinking about Baby M, rubbing my belly over and over again, on the verge of crying of worry.

Sigh. The only thing I can think of to make this a positive thing is that the reporter had no idea I was pregnant. Despite my protruding belly, she probably thought I looked skinny. So yay I guess…. Sigh.