faith working girl

that meh feeling

I think it’s very easy to get lost in the day-to-day of things. Ever since Iman came into my life, she’s seen the rollercoaster of my job; running around everyday from office to studio to event to warehouse to meetings outside to the shooting of the reality show. This Raya period I’m traveling every single week, and for the last 6 weekends, I’ve been working too. So that’s like no off-days for 2 months; just constantly working throughout. Not even enjoying my Saturdays and Sundays. Any free time I get, straight to my kids. Nothing else matters, I’ve been ignoring new people who message me wanting to meet up for no reason, I’ve been really backlogged on my email correspondence, I’ve been declining event invitations. People might have called me sombong recently even and I don’t blame them, but I honestly don’t care because I’m exhausted. I just need some breather because it’s been really hectic, not just for me but also for Iman because she follows me everywhere.

We had a really interesting conversation tonight about our new feeling of meh-ness.

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It’s just so good to share this with someone who truly understands because she sees it too. And life is never perfect, so even when things are going really well, you’re gonna get burned out and tired. So you need someone close to you e.g. your assistant, your colleague, your partner to be each other’s cheerleaders and motivating you to go on. I mean, hello, you guys know I loveeeeeee my job and yet, even I get meh days.

I cut the convo short for you so I don’t bore you, but basically we went on to talk about our declining religious efforts. Basically, I haven’t touched the Quran in so long and that’s so so bad. I realise how happy I am whenever I read the Quran and how calming it is to reconnect with God. I think through the busy period, we often forget that part and yet, that part is the most powerful one giving us renewed energy and rejuvenation to go through our day. That’s why we have prayers also I believe because it gives us peace and calmness every few intervals throughout the day, on top of all the other more important reasons of course. At least that’s how I feel. So just a reminder to all of us… whenever we’re feeling meh and tired, go back to basics; the Quran.

being a mom

co-sleeping

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My kind of perfect mornings :)

I still remember when Daniel was 1-ish, we were trying to put him to sleep in his own room. Dean and I (he’s back to Dean now cos Fadza is just too weird haha) were comforting each other that it’s the right thing to do and everyone was telling us that’s the right parenting. He would come back in the middle of the night and I’d only notice it because his feet would be on my face the next morning. With Mariam, she sleeps in her cot from Day 1. We never practised the whole sleeping with Mom and Dad thing since we thought we’d learn from Daniel’s experience that it’s hard to have some space once they’re so used to sleeping with you.

So that’s what we’ve been told about parenting. Whether or not it’s right, we didn’t know.

Nowadays, we even have moments where we come home from work and we actually scoop our kids into our bed because we miss them. It’s now coming to the Raya time so it’s the busiest time at FV so I really feel the workload and I know it affects my kids, especially Daniel. The other day, Kak Siti sent me a picture of Daniel sleeping next to his lego. He told her that he wanted to wait for Mommy to come home, and because I came back so late, he fell asleep while playing. My heart dropped to the basement of the basement. Of course, I rushed home and hugged him to sleep until the next morning. I was all awwww-teary-eyed when I looked at him and he was all oh-hello-Mommy-get-out-of-my-way. Errr I guess he moves on with life a lot easier than me… -__-“

It’s just a temporary peak period but any free time I get, I’m trying my best to spend quality time with the kids. But admittedly, I’m screwing up the routine and discipline departments because I take them to sleep with me and Dean. Some nights after I’ve put Daniel to sleep and I’m about to carry him to his room, Dean and I look at each other and unanimously whisper, “Let’s sleep with them tonight….” because we miss our kids so much! Haha. Screw all the parenting rules!!

Ok, so coming to the serious part. I guess I am torn; disciplining my kids to sleep in their own rooms, or embracing all the time I have with them while they’re still small and wanting Mommy. After all, they grow up sooooo fast that I just want to hug and kiss them all the freaking time before they grow up in a blink of an eye.

Is co-sleeping really a bad thing?

FYI, I slept with my parents till I was 6 and I refused to leave. Maybe explains why I don’t have a younger sibling bahahahah.. eww gross. -____-“

couch potato media working girl

as it comes to an end

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A reality show has its upside obviously, but it really takes a lot out of you in terms of time and energy. I always thought it’s just people following you around with a camera and you just do what you do everyday. But it’s really not like that!

Everything is scheduled according to your personal and work calendars and events, and things that happen in between sometimes are unexpected and make good content for the show (like mom and her apam balik episode that got rave response, or when website crashed when I was at a Raya photoshoot). The shooting for a season can run for a couple of months so everything is cramped into the schedule. So in the past couple of months, my calendar has never been more packed. I had something almost every single day and had professional make up done on me every early morning. Some days, I had to change outfit 5 times because we were shooting for different episodes (yes, the events have been set for every episode, but things change all the time so the production team has got to be on point!) .

We’ve aired 6 out of 8 episodes for Season 1 and as the show comes to an end, I’m having mixed feelings. It’s been an amazing ride and I’ve never experienced anything like this before. Everyone was on some “high” pills, trying to finish each shoot, trying to capture moments that happen unexpectedly. From me, having the pressure of making sure I give good content to the show no matter how I’m feeling that day (getting excited during the interview to talk about events that have passed, is hard! Haha)…. to Iman making sure to organize everyone’s outfits, travels, bookings, my schedule…. to the production team shooting from day to night everyday, no matter the weather… to the editors who have to vet through hours of raw footage to cramp into a half-hour episode. My goddddd I think we all deserve a pat on the back because for a first time airing (and for a non-celebrity show), the channel was really happy with the ratings.

Now the show is coming to an end, and last week we shot the last scene and OMG we all cried buckets. Especially me. Not because of the show ending, but because I’ve grown really close to the production team. It’s crazy how a bunch of strangers can come together, spend time together day and night, and laugh and laugh about every silly thing. I seriously think the key to a good reality show is not just the content and production, but also the chemistry between the subjects and the BTS team. If I didn’t get along with the production crew, there is no way I could feel excited seeing them everyday.

We had a nice dinner together (well actually, they shot us having dinner and just had maggi in my house at 11pm bahahahah) and everyone gave a speech about how Love, Vivy has impacted them. Dean also gave a speech and for the first time ever, everyone saw him tear! He said he realized it’s not easy doing a reality show and it took a lot out of me that some days he felt so bad for me. Nawwwwwww! #suchasensitiveman

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The next day, it felt so weird not having them with me with cameras and boom mic. We’ve been working together and filming for months so when it all comes to an end… it’s just kinda sad.

Ahhhhh, you guys don’t know how much you mean to me. You’ve seen the best and the worst, you’ve seen every moment and captured them so beautifully. #youaremyfamilytoo

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We will officially upload all 8 episodes on YouTube once the season ends, so for those who didn’t manage to watch it, you can soon!

And then maybe a Season 2, we’ll see. 😉

being a mrs

sneeze it out

So we girls got it down when it comes to grooming, right? Cut nails, nice perfume, and wax the usual areas. I think I’ve kept close attention to all the above, until the flight I had to take with Fadza to Bangkok yesterday.

As usual, I’m very manja with him. So I’d snuggle up to him, and hold his hand, and just be all lovey-dovey especially when no one is in sight (Actually I don’t care, people there also I pda – which is annoying, I know). I asked the usual question loved up girls ask their guys, “How much do you love me?”

Usually Fadza will go, “A lottttttttt.”

This time, he didn’t.

He looked at me and studied my face. Then he jerked backwards and said, “Woahh!”

“What, what?!!” I asked, suddenly conscious of my face. Is it my mascara? Did it run? Is it my scarf, did it go senget? Do I have something in my teeth?

Fadza squinted his eyes and came nearer. And went, “Oh no baby… no no no.”

WHAT IS IT?!

“Hang on, let me snap a picture and show you,” he grabbed his phone (on airplane mode of course) and told me not to move. Snap, his phone took a very close up photo of me.

“What is it?” I asked, romance out the window.

“There, look,” he said as a matter of fact-ly, and showed me a very unflattering zoomed up version of my nose… and one TINY black hair sticking out of it. “Look at that, you have nose hair.” It was so small guys, literally a dot.

“Where got!!” I said defensively.

But still embarrassed, I covered my nose. I mean come onnnn, it’s hard enough being a girl having to wax your underarms, your Brazilian thing, your legs and maybe even a moustache. Who can remember nose hair?!

I get how that can be a spoiler. But it’s on a whole other level with Fadza. Once he sees any shadow of nose hair, he really can’t take whatever you say seriously anymore. It’s one of his biggest pet peeves, can you believe it? The whole flight, I had to hear about how Fadza couldn’t wait to find a pair of scissors to snip off his wife’s nose hair. “Do you have a pair of scissors now?” “It’s really bugging me, baby” “Turn your head the other side so I don’t see it please” “Sneeze it out.” -____-” #thisistruelove #romanceafter10years

So yes, just to remind fellow sistahs out there; scrunch your nose in front of the mirror and see if got hair jutting out or not. If got, my husband might come there and snip it. He snipped mine off. -___-“

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WHERE GOT NOSE HAIR.

being a mom cool school

mariam’s first day of school

Guess who went to school today?!

MARIAM!!!!!

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At 1 year 3 months, she’s now on a half-week basis as a start because I just want to see if she’s ready or not. It all started when I brought her to pick up Daniel from school and she seemed so curious looking at other kids and wanting to say hi (by hi, I mean point to them rudely and say Ah, Ah!). The teachers said I should try send her once or twice to see if she enjoys it, and if she does, there’s no harm sending her from now. The earlier babies get to socialise, the easier it is for them to adapt to things in life.

Plus Mariam won’t be so bored moping around the house while waiting for Daniel to come home. I swear she was so bored she walked into a wall once.

Anyway, I whatsapped Fadza “Sending Mariam to school tomorrow ok?” And he replied with multiple crying emoticons. -___-” Drama father, this one. He soon agreed and said, “But chop, I’m sending her to school tomorrow!” As if it’s a competition. -___-“

Today, she did sooooo well Masyaallah. Wayyyyy better than her dramatic brother. Well, she didn’t smile or anything (my kids are just expressionless if there are other people around, it’s becoming a thing…) but I could tell she didn’t mind it. She was fixated on the toys and slowly built courage to touch a big ball on the floor of the playmat. We stayed with her for 5 minutes and slowly tiptoed out of the room. I watched her through the glass door and just felt… I dunno… overwhelmed?

My second baby is going to school already!!!!

WHY DO I FEEL SO OLD? WHEN DID LIFE GET SO REAL?!!

But mostly, more of that “sebak” feeling. I dunno what sebak is in English – you gotta google that for me please. Somehow sending Daniel and him crying for weeks seems easier than this – maybe because she’s so independent that I feel like I’m losing her and she doesn’t need Mommy anymore. Also didn’t help that Kak Siti messaged me 3 times to remind me to pick Mariam up at 12 sharp. -___-” #ishakutahulah

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But anyway, Fadza and I picked her up and she hugged us and smiled. Kinda like telling us that she was ok, but she’s still Mommy and Daddy’s little girl. Sighhhh Mariam baby, you are just so so wonderful. Such an easy baby since birth, rarely giving us problems or medical scares, just doing your thing and swaying quietly when Daniel sings a song.

Congratulations on your first day, baby girl! Such a big girl you are already.

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Mommy loves you. :’)

events working girl

fashionvalet raya fashion show

Gaya Koleksi Raya 2016 is part of FashionValet’s marketing campaign for Raya 2016. Our team is proud to be a big part of it and the marketing, buying and warehouse teams especially have been working so hard to make this 4-day fashion week event a success. Unlike a lot of fashion shows, we also had a shopping booth where customers can shop for the items right after the show. So it was amazingggg to see the response of the guests who came to the show and immediately bought the piece they liked.

I can’t help but feel so proud of the team because tbh I didn’t have much part in setting this up. I gave my team full control of this because I also wanted to see how they handled doing such a big event. Gotta say, they made momma proud! I was at every show as a guest literally and I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear because everything ran smoothly.

I’m also so touched that a lot of people from the public came to support this event, whether or not they attended the shows. Our customers came from far just to visit our booth to buy their Raya outfit and this to me, is the highlight of the event. I’m so grateful!

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My amazing team who made it all possible.

Yes, Daniel made a special appearance too :)

(also peed all over himself, but let’s not get me started on that…)

being a mom being a mrs growing up loved ones

happy moms, happy you

On the midnight of Mother’s Day, I was in Singapore with Fadza (gonna start referring to him as Fadza now since “Dean” was just a cover-up so my dad wouldn’t know who my boyfriend was 10 years ago hahahah) for a work trip. So, I was looking at pics of Daniel and Mariam and feeling quite down. I should look quite down more often, because Fadza was so sweet to me.

He took me out for a nice dinner in Singapore….

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And he also got me thisssssss!!!!!

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I love this bag so much cos LV also stands for Love, Vivy (my dad pointed that out so LV is officially my favourite ever brand). And with this bag, when you twist it to open, the buckle says V.

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Like it was meant for me.

#whycanteverydaybemothersday

We took a flight back to KL and immediately rushed to see the kids.

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They were obviously excited to see us too…. in their hearts… -__-“

Ahh but we spent the whole day indoors and just playing and jumping around with our kids.

This year, my Mother’s Day was made even more special because I spent it with not just my mom, but the whole gang of girls in the family; my mom, my MIL, my sister, my SIL, her sister and her mom too. The boys were like “What about us?” and we basically handed our kids to them and said “Sort yourselves out, thanks!” Hehehehe.

We went for dinner at Beauty & The Beast, had such a good time gossiping about our kids and our moms imparting parenting tips. We were as usual the loudest ones in the restaurant and this time, also the last to leave. Fadza even called me to ask me when I’m coming home. #partypooper

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The daughters

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The mommies.

Looking at our moms laughing together, I really feel like printing this out and have it framed. Not a lot of moms and inlaws can get along, but I’m very lucky that that’s not the case for me. A lot of people comment how lucky I am in that department and they’re not as lucky. I know some of them personally and all I can say is love both of them with all your heart. Do it genuinely, have patience and God will ease the way for you.

Some tips, if I may:

Don’t wait for them to get along – actually plan teas or lunches and invite both of them so they have bonding sessions.

Teach your kids to love both grandmas equally – get them excited to see both grandparents equally.

Speak only good things of one mom to the other – never ever gossip or badmouth your moms, that’s just suicidal.

Ask for their help in raising your children – I think it’s a mistake to be too independent, every mom likes to feel needed especially when it comes to their cucu’s. Get them involved in everything!

Cook together – that’s a great bonding session. I love to watch my MIL cook and learn from her, but then I got lazy so now I just eat. Hehe.

Be fair – Don’t play favourites. Even during my confinement period, I did half of it at Mommy’s and the other half at Mak’s. They’re both your moms and they should get equal chance to bond with their grandchild.

Remind your husband to send birthday wishes or mother’s day wishes to both moms – when they see their sons/son in law loving them, it’s also a reflection on you as his wife.

Introduce your MIL to people as “my mom” – I don’t go “this is my mother in law” when I introduce Mak. It’s always this is my mother, because that’s what she is.

Never forget your own mom –  As much as you love your MIL, don’t neglect your mom too. I’m lucky that Mommy isn’t the jealous type, in fact she always tells me to prioritise my MIL. I know some moms who can’t have their daughters love another mom. If this is your case, the only thing you can do is make doa and keep being nice to both.

Bottom line is, put both moms first. You always come second, even to your husband. Accept it and be happy to put both moms’ needs before yours. Prioritise these queens in your lives, because they are your gateway to heaven. Happy moms, happy husband, happy marriage. When you do good, you get good too. When you treat your mothers nice, your kids will hopefully treat you nice too.

It’s somewhat true because look what Daniel made for me!

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Ok fine. His teachers made it for me… but still! I’m going to keep this forever and ever.

#iloveyoumyson

#ihopeiwilllikeyourfuturewifeoneday

#iwilltrytobeaniceMILoneday