love

couples fight

Boy meets girl. Butterflies in stomach. Can’t sleep thinking about each other. Phone lights up with a message. Jump over to check if it’s him.

As much as I’d like to think I’m too cool for this, I’ve been here too. With Dean of course. Oh and when I was 15 and thought that college boy was into me. Whatevs #collegeboyswerecoolbackthen. My point is, you’ve been here too, whether or not you’d admit that in public. DON’T YOU LIE AND SAY NO.

Then you get married. And all the butterflies magically disappear and you know so much about each other that a different kind of love emerges. The one with tolerance and patience and such. Hehe. I told myself pre-marriage that Dean will never see me without makeup. Nowadays he has seen more prawn-induced swollen face than my skin doctor. I told myself I would rather pass out than let Dean hear me fart. Nowadays… you get the point. #iamstilltoocooltofartwhatevs #thatwasntmethatwasDaniel.

When you spend your whole life together and you live together, it’s completely different than just going on dates and being over the moon in love. Unless you married a unicorn, there’s bound to be lots of flaws you didn’t know about. And lucky for Dean and I, we have learned to love each other’s flaws to love each other’s goodness more than we dislike each other’s flaws. That’s why, before you get married, CHOOSE THE RIGHT PERSON. Of course easier said than done. So all the best!

Dean showed me this video about couples, and we both thought it was hilarious.

After laughing at how relatable this was, he turned to me, “Okay so seriously, what do you want for dinner?”

“Hmmm…. anything also can, you decide.”

And here we go again.

being a mom love travel tales

a parent’s dilemma

I have never left Daniel even for one night, so when Dean and I have the opportunity to go on a trip overseas we are always really torn. Do we go, do we not go? Selfish me was all like heck yeahhhh we should go! But sappy dad Dean was all like we-cant-leave-Daniel-it-will-scar-him-for-life. -___-”

So, we both agreed to do a practice run. We had some work stuff we wanted to do in Singapore, so we thought ok just one night, let’s go to Singapore and leave Daniel at his grandma’s. At least we leave him with our family and Singapore is near enough for us to get the next flight back in case Daniel doesn’t stop crying missing us (which did not happen, guys. He couldn’t care less if we went to Alaska even). Just one night. If we can get through this, perhaps it’s ok to go on this trip overseas that we want to go for. If we can’t get through this and Daniel suddenly talks and says “Bad Daddy, Bad Mommy!”, then by all means, we will cancel the trip. And confirm that Daniel is a genius.

I was sooo excited to go. Had like 6 outfits planned and 2 bags full of my stuff. Even though it was just for one night, a girl needs options ok. Dean knows who what he married. We kissed Daniel goodbye while he was sleeping in the morning and off to the taxi I skipped excitedly. Dean? He was dragging his feet and kept looking back to see if Daniel had magically woken up and was perched by the window with tears in his eyes (again, did not happen, guys…). On the plane, Dean would stare into nothingness and suddenly quietly sings “One two three four, high five… one two three four, high five…” while wife here rolls her eyes. “Relax, he’s totally fineeeee!” I would remind him.

Anyway, truth be told, this break was what I needed. Singapore was scorching hot and since we were so adventurous to walk everywhere (Malaysians don’t walk, in case you don’t know. This was a big thing for us, using our legs and all…), we were sweating like mad. Had Daniel been there, we would’ve been in such bad moods because we would have to carry him and he would have been uncomfortable in the heat, all those things. But since it was just Dean and I, we enjoyed each other despite the heat, and we held hands and hugged like young lovers. It was really really nice. For dinner, Dean took me to a fancy restaurant and we had a lovely spot in the corner to ourselves. We talked, we reminisced, we shared thoughts and dreams, we ate and drank, and held hands the whole way.

Then, back at the hotel, Dean video-called his mom to speak to Daniel. For the fifth time that day. -___-” Daniel looked a bit sad, and he looked as if he missed us because he kept crying everytime we were going to hang up. And that crushed Dean’s night and broke his heart into pieces. After ending the video call heavy-heartedly, Dean just stared into space and let’s just say he-had-something-caught-in-his-eyes. I didn’t know whether to laugh at him or sympathise with him. I’m pretty sure if I hadn’t comforted him, he would’ve packed up his bags and taken the next flight home. And of course when we turned on the TV, there was a show about babies. Made. It. So. Much. Worse.

 Daniel, you’re very lucky that you have a responsible dad who loves you sooooo much that everything he does he has you in his mind. And the thought of you being even one night without one of your parents pained him because he felt he wasn’t doing his responsibility as a dad. Of course your mom here loves you just as much and worried about you the whole time, but you know… I’m just way cooler than your Daddy. There was nothing “caught in my eye”, unlike your Daddy. I’m cool with giving you your own space sometimes. Haha.

I concluded that parents will always have that dilemma. They want to have a two or three days break away from the children and just be like teenagers in love again, but at the same time the responsibility of being parents and the guilt of leaving your children behind will always be at the back of your mind the whole time. And I think that’s a good thing. All parents should feel this way so that you know where your responsibilities lie. I would say go ahead and have that break because you still need your husband-wife time, but don’t do it too often that the children feel neglected and always check in to see that they’re ok.

 As for my little family, I have accepted the fact that Dean is never going to be that type of dad. It’s just too hard for him, bless his soul. And I thought I was the clingy one! Haaaaave you met Daddy Dean? But either way, I’m thankful that he agreed to this Singapore trip. I had a blast and my pregnancy craving for that awesome roti ice-cream on Orchard Road has been satisfied!

singapore proudduck

travel tales

happy monday!

I’m in Singapore now!

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Wearing a metallic top from Haflins from FashionValet.

My first time in Haji Lane, can you believe it? All the times I’ve been to Singapore, I’ve never set foot in this area. It’s quite nice, sometimes I felt like I was Mexico for some weird reason. Will write more soon.

Wishing everyone a productive week ahead!

fashion and shopping my handbag series pd daily

noted

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So you think about something long and hard, plan your strategy, try to construct a good email that has all your serious points conveyed but still keeping the friendly tone. And at the end, you think for a few minutes whether or not to put a smiley face. Put, don’t put, put, don’t put… hmmm… lunch goes by and you’re still thinking how to end your email. Skip lunch and everything, asking people for their opinions. Finally, with a deep breath, you click SEND EMAIL.

Ah, she replied!!

You quickly check your phone and there you see it…

One word.

“NOTED.”

Not even NOTED WITH THANKS. Just NOTED.

So so annoying.

Yeah, this T-shirt from FV BASICS was made for those kind of people. Know any? Perfect gift for them at only RM 59.

Oh, and have you heard! We’ve launched MISCHA bags on FV today and I was the most excited in the office. I’ve been a stalker of theirs for ages now and I’m so happy to get their signature printed bags on my site. Finallyyyyy, travel in style and not with an LV overnight bag that everybody at the airport seems to have. Something even cooler with MISCHA. I wore the super hot pink clutch here. I just love the quality of these bags and the fact that you don’t have to spend thousands of ringgit for them. Have a look!

mischa newsletter-1

Wearing scarf from dUCk, tshirt from FV BASICS, blazer from KITSCHEN, and clutch from MISCHA, all FashionValet. Pants from SeeLoveMine, heels from YSL. 

cool school growing up working girl

oh my english

I don’t usually do the interviewing for recruitments at FV, but sometimes when no one’s available to do it, I have to stand in and be the interviewer. Not my favourite thing to do because I like people easily and if I have to not hire them, I feel very bad. If it were up to me, I would hire everyone who takes the time to come in! Which is why Dean never lets me handle HR in the company. Hehe.

 So lately I’ve been reading resumes and cover letters and seeing the exercises that they do in their first round of interview. And there are outstanding ones of course, whether or not we end up hiring them, I’m so proud Malaysia has such talent. But then sadly there is also the other side of the spectrum; the ones I would love to hire but just can’t.

 And it all boils down to one common element, I realize. Their lack of good English, written or spoken or both. When I spoke in Malay, all’s good and I saw the spark and excitement during the interview. Then when I switched to English, some of them just curled up and the confidence I previously saw just disappeared! It was really a shame because they were good! I’m like hey hey where did that lively confident girl go?!! As an employer, when given a choice, the harsh reality is of course I will hire the one with good English. And let me tell you that it is reallyyyy slim pickings out there. And it’s worrying!

 I’ve further realised the importance of good English after I needed to scale up the company. Putting ourselves out there to thousands of customers, potential business partners, especially international ones. Everyone in the office knows how anal I am about whether or not they use it or it’s or its correctly. Or when people say “It’s depends” or “That’s means”. Or how I want to pull my hair out if someone says stuffs or staffs (NO SUCH THING, PEOPLE!).  Or how I panic and tell off the marketing team when there is a newsletter or email that goes out with a spelling error. Oh my god, I am the worst, I literally scold, especially if it’s the third time it’s happened.

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A joke my colleague sent me. Cringe.

Don’t get me wrong. I too make mistakes and I know if you search through this blog, you’ll find errors for sure. But if it happens in every post or every paragraph, would you hire me to represent your company? In many instances I’ve seen companies I look up to make banners or write captions on Instagram, and there I spot an English mistake. And my heart just drops. Like nooooo, please nooooo your branding was so goodddddd. Same way I feel if I spot one made by my own company!

Most of my growing up life, I was in an all-Malay medium in school so I really don’t believe that just because you’re surrounded by Malay, Malay and more Malay that you can’t have good English. As a child, I read A LOT, and I used to read out loud so I can hear myself and pronounce words. And I would watch so many English films that I even had a little American accent as a child. It was pretty annoying, I would slap myself as a child if I knew me then. When I was studying abroad, I noticed a lot of all-Malay-only groups who can speak good English, but they’re just not confident enough to mingle with non-Malays there. Naturally, after being sooo used to all-Malay friends, their English usage slowly fades away until they lose all confidence.

I’m not sure what the education system is like now, whether it’s changed again to an all-English medium like our parents’ times. For our Gen Z’s sake, I really hope it has because as much as I love our country and our language, the world is soooo much bigger than just us and it can take us far if we can actually speak confidently to the rest of the world. Like it or not, they speak in English. Then, if the next big thing is China, pretty soon, we’re all going to have to take up Mandarin lessons together too! #cannotcatchabreak

loved ones yummy tummy

takeaway

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Toots, Asma’ and I had big plans to go out tonight and celebrate the fact that Toots is going for Hajj this weekend. But somehow we ended up with takeaway bags and lots of plastic food containers at my place. We all had tiring days so we were like Let’s just hang out at home, I’m too lazy to bump into people. Lucky for me, these two best friends of mine are the types who will fight to buy the food so I just sit back and relax.

“I’ll get the food!” 

“No no, I’ll get the food!”

“No, I said it first. I want the pahala, chop!”

“Dang it.”

And there I chipped in, “You guys fight among yourselves. Just don’t forget my pasta,” as I put my feet up, change the TV channel and wait for them. Ahhhh….

So few hours later, there we were chomping on chicken wings with our bare hands, hands all messy, one leg up on the chair and chatting till the cows come home. About Toots going, about people’s hajj experiences we’ve heard about, about work, about future travels, all sorts of things. And dare I say, it was one of the best dinners we’ve ever had. You guys should try it! Ditch the usual go out and be seen outings and just have more takeaways.

We finished at about midnight and after getting messages that they were both home safely, I wrote “Guys we don’t like to go out anymore… Are we getting old?”

being pregnant

at the gynae’s

gynae

Trips to the gynae are always exciting because

(a) you’ll get to see the development of your baby

(b) and you get candy from the doctor’s room!

(YOU DON’T?!! What kind of a gynae…)

But the not so exciting part is when you have to wait a gazillion years before your turn. This period of boredom kills you slowly and you’ll have no choice but to check out other mothers. I mean, seriously guys. Pregnant women are funny to watch; some of them are slouching and snoring due to lack of sleep the night before, some of them are rubbing their tummy probably hungry, some of them are talking to their tummy (I steer clear of these ones, super awkward), some of them look very worried probably because it’s blood test day for them (I totes get it). Some behaviors are so interesting you just have to point out stuff to your other half. Who is also by the way, really really bored.

Like this one lady I saw who sat on the chair, legs crossed on the seat (like bersila style) and arms crossed up above, hands resting on the top of her head. She was all terkangkang and armpits out and everything. Like whoa lady, how’s your pregnancy going?

It was pretty awkward but hey, an unspoken rule in the gynae’s clinic is that no one judges anyone. We might talk about you, but we never judge because we all understand. One leg up on the chair? You must be having leg cramp, you poor dear. Sleeping with mouth open? You’ve never looked more beautiful, Mommy. Scolding your husband for playing game instead of rubbing your back? He should’ve done that sooner, girlfriend.

That last one was me.

I saw a husband rubbing his wife’s neck and turned to Dean unsatisfied. “You see, look at that man. He’s so sweet massaging his wife!”

Dean looked at him. “Baby, his one hand is on the phone and the other hand is just lazily scratching his wife. That’s barely a massage! He’s not even looking at her!” 

Ok fine, true. “But still… so sweet of him to try.”

“Ok fine fine, come I do to you what he’s doing,” and with his one index finger, he scratches my neck lazily which annoyed me more than anything.

“Stop it.”

“See, at least I tried,” and goes back to his game.

Ish.

I looked at the other husband. His hands are both on the phone now concentrating fully on his game. Three other husbands in the room, including my lovely one, are doing the same thing. But hope is still there because there will be one husband in the room that is attentive and constantly checking up on his wife. Dean would tell me that’s definitely their first child. Why do we bother bringing husbands along to the checkups? Pftttt.

But yeah seriously, next time you go to a gynae, look around and tell me the scene is pretty much the same.