hit him back, ladies

November 17, 2008

Remember my post about me going crazy trying to choose subjects for my final year? yeah, all that was a waste of time, cos I chose different subjects in the end. On top of Jurisprudence, I finally decided on Company Law (cos it’s essential for my future endeavours), Media Law (cos I want to pursue journalism and maybe dip my feet in the entertainment industry one day) and Family Law (cos I heard it’s easy). I was surprised to discover my favourite is Family Law!

It was super interesting from day 1. At the risk of sounding sad, I actually look forward to my classes on Family. We’ve learnt about marriage, civil partnerships, unmarried cohabitations, divorce, and so many other controversial issues, that made me interested enough to think about them. I can’t believe I almost didn’t choose Family.

Here’s some statistics I learnt about domestic violence:

  • 26% of women will be victims of domestic violence
  • An incident of domesic violence is reported to the police every minute on average
  • 50% of female murder victims are killed by their partner (former and current)
  • On average, 2 women killed each week by their partner (former and current)
  • Domestic violence accounts for 25% of all assaults
  • Estimated 15.4 million incidents of domestic violence in 2003
  • 30% of cases of domestic violence started during the victim’s pregnancy
  • On average, women are attacked 35 times before they call the police for help

It’s really bizzare, isn’t it? My initial reaction was “Are these women dumb?!! Leave the jerk!”, but after looking deeper, it’s really a lot more than that. Most women depend on their partner for emotional and financial support and just cannot accept the prospect of their partner being imprisoned. What are they going to tell their kids on why Mommy put Daddy in prison? Can you imagine turning the person you love most to the police, and watching him being taken away in handcuffs? These women probably think, Yeah he hit me, yeah there’s a bit of blood, but he’s been soo stressed at work, and I didn’t make a nice dinner for him, so I guess it’s OK that he slapped me.

Is this right? Some cultures condone domestic violence if the wife isn’t doing her wifely duties properly, but at what point does it become not OK to hit your wife?

My heart goes out to these victims. I’m sure when they were in love and had less responsibilities, everything was peachy and not in a million years would they expect to be hit by this man whose hands they’d caress. But for us youngsters, we can try to prevent ourselves from being in their shoes by sizing up the man we’re with now.

  1. He raises his voice at you, even when you did nothing wrong
  2. He slams doors and throws things when he’s angry
  3. There’s history of domestic violence in his family
  4. His behaviour towards women; He’s rude to his mother and sisters
  5. He doesn’t say thank you when you cook or clean for him
  6. His first language is swearwords
  7. He makes it up to you by giving you material things only
  8. He doesn’t honour his promises
  9. He laughs when you cry
  10. He wears chains. (Haha ok, this is a longshot…but seriously, why would you go out with that kind of guy)

Spot these little things from the beginning. If the guy you’re dating has one or more of these criteria, run. You’re too precious to be a victim of domestic violence.

(It’s funny how I can do this, but can’t seem to write an essay that’s due soon. Sigh)