maintaining friendships

September 28, 2009

Can you imagine life without your friends? God it would be so dull.

The truth is when you’re working, it’s harder to make friends because you’re focused on work. Unless you’re OK with making friends with your colleagues (who are mostly married with kids) and seeing them day and night all the time. Simply because you’re not as free as you used to be, and you don’t need to make friends with the smartest girl in class anymore because you no longer need her lecture notes.

That is why I keep my old friends close. The good ones, of course. It’s really not that hard to send them random texts or in my case, constant updates about each other’s lives.

The sad thing is that as you grow up, you will find that people have their own paths in life. You’ll go to different colleges, different universities, different workplaces, different countries even! That is when the test is really on. Whether or not your friendship is worth cultivating, or you’re only friends because it was convenient once upon a time.

My good friends are all over the world. We started off somewhere together, then everyone went flying to different continents. Which totally sucks. But with the technology we have these days, it’s not hard to keep in touch and do useful stuff….like this:




Sofia and I, trying to salam raya.

Sometimes I feel like we’re not even physically apart. Sometimes I don’t even get to miss them because I see their faces almost everyday on Skype, or I basically know everything about their life abroad through email updates. The housemates’ names, the housemates’ boyfriend/girlfriend’s names, where they hang out, what time their classes/working hours are, what they did last weekend, what they bought last week, who Stella is dating now (HAHAHA she’s going to kill me), how many times they go to the toilet in a week. You know, all the crucial information.

These past couple of weeks, some of my closest friends left for the UK and I was so sad leading up to it (Dean’s leaving in 3 days, prepare for a FLOOD). I started to think omg this is it, people say they’ll keep in touch but they never do!

We sent each other soppy emails and tearful texts, as if one of us was going to fight some war (which btw, is never the answer to a problem).

But now that they’re gone, I don’t feel like anything’s changed. There is constant communication and it’s so amazing. We’ve seen each other’s new haircuts, new purchases, new nail colour and the typical “Should I wear this tonight or this?” or “Does my bum look big in this?”. We’ve even cried to the other person, wailing about some non-problem, while the other person pretends to listen while browsing ASOS.COM.

I’ve even seen the insides of their homes abroad through Skype, I feel like I’m there!

Until Sofia and Mazzy said, “OK Bye, we’re going to Harrods now.”

My heart dropped to the ground….Harrodsssssss, have you missed me?…sob sob….



So, unless you have friends who are willing to Video-call you when they’re in Harrods so you could see what’s new there (which is what real friends would do pffttt), you’re pretty much left out there.

But it doesn’t matter. (You can guilt them into buying you stuff….or send a boatload of online shopping goodies to their house for them to post back to you)

At the end of the day, it’s friendships like these that will go on forever. You’re pretty much stuck with them if you know you can’t live a few days without talking to each other.

What I’m indirectly trying to say is that don’t take your friends for granted, because friendship needs to be cultivated and without effort, it will fade away. Even easier if you’re miles apart.


Unless of course, if you have a mysterious friendship like Toots and I. We have spent a big chunk of our friendship being apart and not keeping in touch, but somehow we still know we’re the best of friends. It’s hilarious that we don’t ever do mushy things together, and we’re not even that nice to each other, yet we still love each other to the very core.

Toots: I’m having the worst period pain ever. Been vomiting everything I eat.

I didn’t even bother to reply.

Mom: Who was that?

Me: Oh, Toots vomiting. It’s nothing.

10 hours later, I sent a text to her because I didn’t get another whiny update on her period pain, and I admit I got slightly worried.

Me: Are you feeling better?

Toots: Yeah, but now you’re scaring me. Go away.

Hehe. This is one friendship that science cannot explain.




I was leaving Toots at the airport. And you can tell she’s crying inside. She’s just hiding it really well.

Friends are special because God lets you choose which ones you like.

Kind of like candy.

So choose well.

Choose the good people who make you happy and somehow make you a better person.

Like candy, choose the good and sweet ones, not the bitter and rotten ones.