Remember my post about the Smart Toilet in Jakarta that opens and closes if it feels you’re near?

Yeah, that toilet still gives me the creeps at night! Bzzz-ing for no reason! I dread going near it. Sometimes, in the morning you are too groggy to be aware of anything and when you’re brushing your teeth, suddenly the toilet bzzzzzz-es open because you triggered the sensor and you jump in shock. Sheeshhh talk about instant wake-up call!

But this time, I had 3 days in Jakarta, so Mr Toilet and I were bound to meet at some point.

I had to get used to the heated seats and the automatic flushes. And that was alright. But today I found another feature of the toilet. I was doing my business and I must’ve accidentally pressed something on the toilet, because it went like this.

Water just started shooting out!

At first I freaked out, but after a while I started to like this cleansing feature because it was so efficient and the warm water shooting out felt…ummm…quite nice and relaxing….

OK moving on….

I just sat there waiting for the water to stop automatically because usually, these things have pre-set timers. But after a while, I started getting uncomfortable. What do I do? I’m done cleaning and the water won’t stop shooting out. I was getting bored and it was starting to hurt too! But if I just get up, the water will just start wetting the floor . So I sat a while longer….sighh…I wish I brought a magazine in. OK this is ridiculous.

This toilet is spoiled, I concluded.

I found out that I had to press Off for the water to stop. There was an On/Off switch on the side of the toilet to cleanse yourself.

And you can choose Front or Rear.

HAHAHAH. I’m sorry, I’m all for innovation and technology but my god, all I wanted was to have a quick pee and I ended up overstaying my visit to Mr. Toilet. So complicated!

Toilets in Jakarta are really efficient actually.

Besides this Smart Toilet we have in our apartment, I also saw this sign in one of the women’s toilets in Grand Indonesia Mall (I was not shopping, don’t worry…).

Just before you leave, there is a big sign that says “PLEASE ADJUST YOUR DRESS BEFORE LEAVING.”

How cool is that?!!! I was so amazed, I almost said thank you to the wall.

No wonder Indonesian women are so nicely groomed and proper…they have all these signs in their toilets to remind them to take out their skirt stuck in their underwear, or powder their nose before meeting the public. Not like us Malaysian women who sometimes walk out of toilets with unzipped jeans and sometimes we’re so nice to wipe the floor with toilet paper trailing underneath our wet shoes without us noticing.

My Indonesian colleague asked me why Malaysian women are generally sloppy compared to Indonesian women. Well, if we had efficient toilets with friendly reminders, we’d look amazing too!!

We need to catch up with Indonesia and start sticking post-it notes everywhere in the toilets. “Check your buttons”, “Powder your face”, “Check if got chilli stuck in teeth”, “Use hand lotion after wash”, “Check for snot”, “Fix your hair”, “Spray on some perfume”, “Redo your make-up”, “Do some squats, you’re looking flabby.”

Malaysian women will look so awesome, we’ll shock the world.