fill your boots

November 16, 2009

Me: I went to a factory today. I got to wear that hat because it was too hot.

Dean: It’s not a hat. It’s a helmet.

Me: Same thing la.

Dean: And it’s not because of the sun, you wear it for safety.

Me: Yeah, that’s what I meant.

factory

factory2

Clearly whoever invented the hat doesn’t prioritise fashion. We both look so funny.

Going to factory or sites is normal for people working in my line of work; construction and property development.

Grilled under the hot sun, breathing in the dust from the quarry, wearing the unattractive hat (helmet, whatever). You really don’t have anyone to impress there, because the only men around are either very very sweaty and dark, or don’t speak English.

That’s why I made a stupid mistake by wearing my Loubies wedges (in my defence, I forgot to pack a pair of less expensive shoes for recent the Jakarta trip).

shoesshoes2

Usually factories provide boots for people to wear, but they’re often smelly and god knows how many feet have been in there. So unless you have your own socks ready in hand, you’re going to have to scrunch up your face and hold your breath when you take your feet out of the boots at the end of the day.

Or maybe you should just carry this everywhere.

boots

I’m just joking, people. Obviously, no one over the age of 4 should go near this.

We should go for this instead…

Picture 6

Chanel deerskin riding boots

Again, I’m just being a noob here. No one in the right mind should rub Chanel soles on concrete and sand! Gasp. Chanel boots are meant to be worn on lush faux fur carpets or the velvet red carpet…or the clouds…or the roughest surface it can go on is a walkway full of diamonds.

Since we’re talking about boots, here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

  • It should never be mid-calf length. It should create a lengthening effect and this can be achieved easier throughboots that go just below the knee.
  • Skinny leather boots are more flattering than boxy or fluffy boots like Uggs.
  • Do not wear kitten heeled boots (In fact, don’t wear kitten heels on any shoes!). I think it’s unflattering and it’s neither here nor there. You either go for elegant but easy flat riding boots, or glamorous heeled boot.
  • Coloured boots are tacky. Light colours including white are fattening. Black and brown are classy.
  • Get your boots re-heeled if they’re looking scruffy. Worn-out heels with the metal bit poking out is bad for your back.
  • Do not wear ankle boots unless you have small ankles and thin calves. It’s very hard to pull off this look and still look good at the same time.
  • If you want to tuck in your bottoms into the boots, it’s best to wear skinny jeans or leggings.
  • Choose your socks carefully and make sure there are no holes or you’re not wearing a different sock on each foot (HI, RON!). You might think no one will see them, but you never know if and when you’ll have to take off your boots.
  • If you can’t zip up all the way (because your mom gave you fat calves), don’t cry. Go a size up. Roll up your sleeves, get down on the floor, PULL the zipper and squeeze like mad. Don’t go more than one size up because people will start asking you the directions to McDonalds. If you still can’t fit, then walk away cursing the store for making boots for lamp-posts.

OK….I started with the intention of writing about my factory visit…but somehow ended up here….oh well…