Dean called me from London.
He (Brother No. 3) was at lunch with Brother No. 1, Gf No. 2, and their close friend.
“You’ll never guess who’s sitting right in front of me right now.“
He pauses for me to guess.
OK, why on earth do people say these kind of things. First of all, they already said, “You’ll NEVER guess…”, so why should we bother guessing? And secondly, there are billions of possibilities that it’s almost impossible to name every human being on earth.
So, to save his already enormous phone bill, I said “I don’t know. I give up. Tell me,” without even bother guessing hehe.
Ermm…for all of you living in caves, this is Gwen Sefani.
“Oh my god! Take a picture!!”
‘What? No. That’s so sad.”
“You’re right, that would be sad.” I thought again. “Hmm…OK, just pretend to take a picture of something behind her.”
“It’s a wall.”
“Hmm…OK, pretend to get up and –“
“I’m. Not. Going. To. Take. A. Picture. Of. Her.”
Fine. I’m not a big fan anyway.
I just wanted to know ONE thing.
“What is she wearing?”
“What?!!!!” he asked, as if I just asked him whether or not I could jump off a cliff. “I don’t know.”
“How can you not know???? She’s right in front of you!”
“OK….let me try to describe it….ermmm…” Dean started. I almost laughed because I could picture him squirming in his seat stealing glances at her. After a pause, “She’s wearing a hat.”
“OK…..” I need to go slow with these kind of species. “What top is she wearing?”
“A shirt or a Tshirt?”
“I don’t know what it’s called. Ummm…I don’t know these things ok?!!!”
“Then take a pic-“
“OK, she’s wearing a white shirt with a black tank top.”
“A tank top over it?”
“So she’s layering?”
“No, she’s eating.”
“Actually, she’s wearing the black thing inside. I mean, it’s definitely a white tshirt and underneath you can see it’s black.”
“Tshirt or shirt?”
“Well, it’s like a top.”
*losing patience here….
“OK….Does her top have buttons?”
“No buttons,” he said confident that his answer was correct. “Long sleeves, no collar but there’s like a long drooping neck.”
“I don’t know what you’d called this neck.”
“I don’t know, she’s sitting down.”
“Maybe you can get up and pretend to go around her….”
Now Dean is losing his patience.
“Oh oh! She just got up. She’s wearing like really high shorts, with like a faded burberry pattern.”
“Great, now we’re talking…..shoes?”
“Very high heels, ankle length, suede with laces. OK food just came. Bye.”
Hehe, he will probably never call me again to tell me he just saw a celebrity in London.
But, from what I gathered, Gwen looked something like this…
I said SOMETHING like this ok.
Black hat, long sleeved white sheer droopy-necked blouse with a “black thing inside”, high-waisted Burberry shorts and suede laced ankle boots. Oh, and Dean mentioned that she tied her hair, so you couldn’t see anything.
I drew whatever Dean described!
Hmmm…so how come my sketch looks nothing like Gwen and suspiciously like the guy who tried to sell me fake DVDs the other day?
Oh well, Dean’s lucky I wasn’t there with him at the restaurant.
I would’ve been like this.
That’s er…me holding a pair of…binoculars.
You guys knew that right?
Ugh, my art teacher was right.