Some of 3 year-old Little Nephew’s dialogues recently:
LN: I want water.
Me: Say please.
Dean closes the door and accidentally left LN behind.
LN comes barging in, angry.
LN: WHY ARE YOU SO NAUGHTY, UNCLE DIN?!!! *hands on hips*
LN was playing with toys and making a mess.
Me: Pick those up right now.
LN looks up at me and gives me a face.
LN: I don’t want. I’m tired.
And stomps off like a diva.
How can you be tired? You’re THREE!!
At his kindergarten concert, he came on stage.
Searched for his parents.
“HI MAMA!!!!!” waved like crazy.
In front of everyone.
My sister turned red and waved back subtly.
The teacher tried to pull him off stage.
LN wouldn’t budge off stage. He frowned.
“WHERE’S BABA, MAMA????” totally oblivious or didn’t care about the hundred other parents there watching him on stage.
My brother in law waved back, embarrassed.
I, of course, turned to the person next to me and asked, “Whose kid is that????”
LN pointed to a picture of me.
“Watermelon,” he says while pointing at my face.
I’m never eating again.
And the worst of all.
His favourite word is kentut now.
So everytime he sees someone and he’s bored, he’ll say, “Hey, *insert victim’s name here* kentut!” in front of everyone! For no apparent reason.
And because everybody laughs when he says it, he thinks it’s really fun. So he does it over and over again and makes sure the whole house / restaurant / shop / country knows that someone farted.
It’s so embarrassing to take him out ok!
He picks up on words so fast these days! At one point, I kept saying “duh” to just about anything. And he followed and kept saying “duh” at anything we say. I felt so guilty for gay-ing him up like that!
Now I choose my words carefully when I’m with him.
Saying “whatever” a lot isn’t gay right?