101 things to do before you diet

February 22, 2010

Book Review on 101 Things To Do Before You Diet by Mimi Spencer.

101 things to do before you diet

I know, I know.

When I first heard about it, I went pfttt you want me to do 101 things before I diet and suck all happiness out of me? Sheesh, I’d rather eat that last piece of cake.

But I couldn’t resist the purple polka dots and the cute corset cupcake! Sorry, I really do judge a book by its cover.

I was so glad I read this book. Mimi Spencer’s style of writing is hilarious! Sorry, I’ll get to the content later…I can’t help but to analyse the writing style first. I can’t stand reading those serious journalism books without any jokes or puns. How I got through law school; a lot of caffeine pills and a lot of cursing. I probably learned more bad words reading law than if I would’ve had I taken any other degree.

It was joke, joke, joke. Not the try-hard please-find-me-funny kind of jokes that I usually tell my friends (seriously, my friends are so unsupportive of my sense of humour). But the very subtle sarcasm that anybody can laugh out loud to. I’d say that her style of writing is the closest one that I want to emulate.

OK, now content.

Basically this is a self-proclaimed NON-DIET book. That’s not necessarily true because I did read somewhere in there that she said chocolate cakes were bad and we should stay away from delicious artery-blocking food. BUT to be fair, the bulk of her book is all about losing weight and being happy while you’re at it, not really by dieting.

In this book, she basically gives 101 tips to lose weight and covers your whole lifestyle. How to eat properly, how to dress slimmer, how to cheat diet, how to exercise willingly, how to motivate yourself. But all in humorous ways that you just go “OK I’ll do it, just because she made it sound so much fun.”

I’ll share with you some of the tips I tabbed.

  • 14: Cook more. “Your dinner shouldn’t say ping! It should say mmm”
  • 20: Understand hunger. “Recognise what hunger feels like, so you can distinguish between real hunger and other reasons for wanting to eat. But don’t let your hunger take over completely, or you may be driven to binge on anything that isn’t nailed to the floor.”
  • 21: Drink more water. “A dry mouth is the last sign of dehydration, not the first.”
  • 27: Buy a corset. “Women ought to nip it at the equator…..A girl’s eligibility was judged by the size of her waist – which should be twice the circumference of her neck, which in turn, should be twice the circumference of her wrist.” Bet all of you are looking for the measuring tape now.
  • 31: Get fresh and feel the force. “If your idea of a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand, it’s clearly time to reset your dial.”
  • 38: If feeling peckish, brush your teeth. “…a new taste in the mouth sends a signal to the brain that you are full.”
  • 49: Recognise that there are some clothes you should never wear. “A Chanel jacket will not make you thin or beautiful. But it will make you happy.”
  • 55: Take the food factor out of the equation. “Say No dessert, thanks to the waiter BEFORE he offers you a list which includes toffee sticky pudding, chocolate tart and three flavours of bespoke ice-cream.” and “If you happen to be in a self-service restaurant, don’t use a tray because you’re likely to fill it up.”
  • 67: Drink less alcohol. “A martini has about the same number of calories of a slice of pizza.”
  • 68: Wear heels. “Don’t wear round toes. Add an ankle-strap and you have the world’s most fattening shoe.”
  • 77: Learn how to give good photo. “Cindy Crawford says, ‘I think women see me on the cover of a magazine and think I’ve never had a pimple or bags under my eyes. You have to realise that’s after 2 hours of hair and make-up, plus retouching. Even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.”
  • 82: Find your thing and stick with it. “Yoga; Regular bikram or Astanga will clearly be more beneficial than lying down in a room that smells of patchouli while chanting Ommm through your third eye.”
  • 93: Stop thinking big and talking baloney. “Never utter phrases such as ‘I’ve got a sweet tooth’ or ‘I have big bones’ or ‘I was born fat.’ Stop saying sentences with ‘I ALWAYS…'”

….. and many many more funny but so true tips.

The best tip of all is of course, No. 101. I’ll let you find that out for yourself but I felt rejuvenated after reading this book and really believe it to be a feel-good book.

But the thing about reading these books that have “DIET” or “HOW TO” or “KATIE PRICE” in big bold letters for everyone to see is that it’s a bit embarrassing. Like being seen by your ex-boyfriend in the self-help section in a bookstore, or telling everyone you have a therapist. It just gives out this idea to people that you aren’t happy with yourself and you’re not in control of your life. I don’t know, maybe I’m a snob in that sense.

So I started reading this book in my room, when I was alone, doors locked, grills sealed, curtains drawn. And I tried to hide my laughter when reading the hilarious bits. And there were so many of them, it was hard!

But I was at the salon doing my colours, and it was 2 hours of pure boredom. I looked into my handbag to find fun stuff (it’s an amusement park, my handbag) and I found this book. I must have put it in there in my sleep. I kept covering the cover of the book with my hand, but I didn’t care after a while and I finished the book!

It’s a really really good read. I highly recommend it.

Oh btw, I’ve gone back to black! My hair’s slightly darker than my natural colour. It’s something different to my norm so I absolutely love it!!

dark hair