don’t poke my eyes please

February 17, 2010 • 15 comments • 2282 views

A reason why I don’t like following my family or friends for checkup is that somehow, they’ll kindly force me to get one as well. So concerned, the people in my world.

But they don’t know that I’m super scared of doctors and dentists and everyone who’s in close contact with needles and scissors. I mean, it’s right there, people!! Right next to their hands. You piss them off, you’re screwed.

And the mere mention of “Hmmm…let me see that again…hmmm…” when the doctor looks at something TWICE….oh god…it gives me the chills.

To cut the story short, I was dragged into this chair in the eye doctor’s office. EYE DOCTOR OK. EYES. I know I complain about them being crooked and different size, but they’re mine. I only have 2 of those. And these doctors KNOW how to take out your eyeballs. They teach that thriller in medical school.

I was on my best behaviour, of course. Smiling incessantly. As if that would help.

The thing is, I KNEW my eyes have been hurting lately. I sleep very late and wake up early. I stare at the computer the whole day (some things necessary, some things like ASOS.com completely voluntary). I wear a lot of eye makeup. I sometimes read in the dark. I don’t eat carrots. All that combined, I’m surprised I’m not on the fast track to the eye hell.

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This was the part where you had to put that thing over one eye and read the alphabets out loud. I did really well, because I memorised them.

No, but in all seriousness, I couldn’t read the last line which had the smallest size. Because I didn’t have enough time to memorise those.

The eye doctor showed some still pictures she took of my eyes.

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This is the ummm… I want to say…optic nerve? Am I right, Dr. Pot? I don’t know what it does, but it’s really important.

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The doctor took this picture to show me the glitter from my eyeshadow that moved on to my lashes. She says this is not good because it can easily spread into the eyes, and it can also give you eyelash infection if you don’t clean it well.

All I saw in this photo above were the lines under my eyes!! NOOOOOOOO I’m too young for wrinklessss =((((((

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The first thing I thought when I saw this photo, “MY GOD HOW EMBARRASSING. I missed a big spot on my waterline when I put eyeliner this morning!! The doctor must think I’m a noob.”

Well, she did. But not for the same reason I did.

You see that black dot in my eye? That is a bit of my eyeliner residue that went in. The doctor pointed out the danger of that in that the make up bit covered my eye so oxygen cannot go through and that could lead to this one eye disease that has a really complicated name. Basically, it’s dangerous to cover your eyes with all these foreign objects.

YOU COULD GO BLIND!!!!

That is why I asked her about contact lenses. That covers half your eyes! So oxygen in eye area is reduced by half. She was so impressed with my thoughts, I’m surprised I didn’t get a lollipop.

But yes, contacts aren’t the best things for you.

Umm…she told me why, and I remember it being really bad because my eyes went really big and my mouth opened automatically….but for me to explain it to you, it might become a whole different story. I won’t even try. But basically, something about oxygen reduction and your eyes are not getting enough good stuff because you are blocking half of it with something.

I like wearing contact lenses just to add some colour during special occasions. Green eyes, blue eyes, turquoise eyes, grey eyes. So I got a bit worried.

Her tips:

  • If you have to wear contacts, don’t wear it for more than 6 hours. Her recommendation is that know when to wear it; if you want to look nice for an important dinner, if you are meeting clients etc. But remove it right after and put on those glasses.
  • Never ever sleep with contacts still in your eyes. (I actually heard a horror story that it disappeared after that!)
  • It’s fine to wear eye make-up but remove it thoroughly with eye makeup remover. And don’t forget the eyelashes too.
  • Have good, adequate sleep at night.
  • Green is soothing to the eyes. So look at trees when your eyes are feeling tired. Or my blog 🙂

If you wear glasses, don’t be ashamed of them. Don’t feel like you have to wear contacts just because you hate your glasses. I always thought the sexy secretary look is hot, I almost bought a pair (without power) just for fun until I realised I was being really lame.

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But yeah, glasses are hot. Not to mention they make you look smart. Algebra sin cos tan? Umm hold on, let me get my glasses. Oh noooo I left them at home. I can’t see the whiteboard, sorry.

See? People with perfect eyesight don’t have this excuse available to them.

Speaking of smart (ahem), I received this email.

A mathematical challenge:

If you can solve it in 3 mins, you’re an engineer.

If you can solve it in 3 hours, you’re an architect.

If you can solve it in 6 hours, you’re a doctor.

If you can solve it in 3 months, you’re an accountant.

If you can’t solve it, you’re a lawyer.

_________________________

What is the missing number in this logical series?

1, 2, 6, 42, 1806, ____?

______________________

Just to boast a bit, I solved it in ONE MINUTE (oh heck 30 SECONDS…you weren’t here) =)))

And I’m a contractor.