Guest Blogger 5: Azmir Z on Women and Handbags
February 20, 2010I’m all for the Girl Power let’s-be-independent thing, but sometimes we need men in our lives to complement us. Sometimes (not all the time) we should let our ears listen to what they have to say because they (sometimes) make more sense than us women. Their opposing (or otherwise) views on shopping, handbags, women insecurity and all things girly can be entertaining and maybe even eye-opening.
Never before on Proudduck have I allowed a man to be a guest blogger. But from the moment this guy emailed me, I had a good feeling. I read his article and found it to be so clever, and would love if you took time to read too! In his article, we are invited to join his trip to Louis Vuitton with the Mrs.
A little introduction from the man himself:
Azmir is a self proclaimed artist trapped in an engineer’s body. When he’s not pretending to be busy with office work, he likes to facebook, blog, and have long chats with friends who are equally busy. In his spare time, he enjoys playing the guitar, photography, making videos, and driving his hot rod. Recently, he has picked up reading because he realizes the importance of doing so.
Azmir is happily married with 2 beautiful daughters.
____________________________________________________
WOMEN AND HANDBAGS
____________________________________________________
Years ago, the terms LV, Gucci, Chanel, Hermes, et al had never entered into my masculine dictionary.
But the official induction to this foreign world came when I was about to get married. The exchange of gifts from the groom to the bride, typically, includes a handbag to complete a list of accessories. I never got involved in the discussion. What the heck did I know?
Luckily, I had an aunt who was going on a vacation in France and she offered to scout there since handbags were cheaper there. All I heard was cheaper. I wasn’t going to argue. My aunt brought back a small black Balenciaga handbag for my fiancee. Balencia who??? It sounded like a Spanish folk song right off a Flamenco songbook. It also sounded a lot like Mesiniaga, but I was not judging.
==== BREAK 1 ====
Three years into our marriage, I finally got the opportunity to witness the bizarre phenomenon that turns a perfectly sane intelligent woman into… a little girl.
KL Pavillion had just opened and my wife wanted to have a ‘look’. Strange thing happened. From the moment she walked along the hallway of opulence, my wife was chirpy and jocular. Like a kid in a candy store, except that these weren’t candies, they were real expensive handbags!
I could sense that she wanted one. It would have been my first gift to her since we got hitched. I told her to look around and not haste into making a purchase. After all, since I was going to ‘invest’ in this, I needed to make sure that she got something that she really liked. Also, there might not be another similar opportunity for her in the future.
So, when she suggested she could settle with a handbag by Jaspal, I was livid! What the hell is Jaspal? I told her, Jaspal was an uncle in Telekom Malaysia that I used to deal with -Jaspal Singh! We’re not buying Jaspal! I could imagine the consternation on the faces of her friends (and mine too) when we tell them that it’s Jaspal’s bag. No, no, no.
Then I asked her what other candy store we could go to. She uttered the two letters that would haunt me until today – LV.
=== BREAK 2 ===
I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about LV. Unfazed, I marched in head held high with an air of misplaced arrogance. I let the wife roam while I sat down and observed.
While I was busy being invisible, my wife covered the whole store, pointing, inspecting, and posing with the handbags as the sales hostess waited by her side with a wry smile and one eye on me. I’m watching you. Don’t touch anything you big oaf.
But curiosity got the better of me. I was seated at the shoe section, so I grabbed one, flipped it over, and almost fell off the stool. RM1500++ for a Goddamn shoe!!! Get me outta here, NOW!!! Oh! What have I done? I should have said yes to Jaspal.
I stayed composed and dignified – for the wife – when every inch of fiber in me wanted to bolt out the door.
Undecided, my wife turned to me for opinion and advice. Clearly, the pressure of owning her very first designer handbag (the Balenciaga didn’t count) was too much for her to bear.
“You don’t want my opinion.” I said curtly.
“Yes I do. I can’t decide.” she replied assuredly.
She showed me the Speedy 30 Damier. You can get that at the pasar malam, I thought. In fact, most of the bags in the store looked like those in the pasar malam.
“It’s nice, but isn’t it too small?” I asked supportively.
And the evening went on like that – her asking my opinion, and me not helping with my ambivalence. We went through the purple Brentwood monogram vernice leather, the Trevi PM Damier, and the white Alma monogram multicolore, going back and forth unsure of which deserved my hard earned money.
It took so long that we had to break for solat (prayers). I told my wife we needed divine intervention to help us decide.
We came back to the delight of the sales hostess. I advised my wife that she should get something practical that she can use often, not something that will be kept in shelves to collect dust. But ultimately, the decision was hers and whatever she chose, she would get my full financial backing.
Shoulders slouched, lips pout, silent as the world revolved around her. She turned towards me, flipped her frown upside down, and said…
“I want this.”
The Trevi PM Damier. Good choice. Expensive, but good nonetheless.
I nodded. I swiped. And then everything went numb – including my bank account. But the look on her face, her happiness, her excitement, was priceless.
=== BREAK 3 ===
This whole process is none too different from what men go through to get the girl of his dreams.
Just like a beautifully crafted handbag, a woman’s looks will be the very first thing that a man will notice. We’re visual creatures after all. Whether a man chooses an LV, Chanel, or Gucci is totally relative. Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder, but the common law of attraction is physiologically the same.
Indeed, locating the store and picking out a handbag is easy, but stepping into the store requires confidence and panache. For those who lack the testicular fortitude, they will end up at Jaspal and always wonder what could have been.
The LV might make a good first impression – financially sound, good fashion sense, and metrosexual – but at the expense of our true self. Deep down, we know that we’re a Bata man – simple, practical, and worth every penny. However, we might also come off as sloppy and a walking embarrassment. Thus, ruining whatever chance that we might have with the girl.
Damned if we do, damned if we don’t – what’s a guy to do?
Lets just say that we managed to hold it together, walk through the door, and pass the bouncers (how frightening). While friendly and helpful, the hostess steals a quick glance scanning us from top to bottom, assessing and judging if we deserve the handbag. Like it or not, we have got to go through them to find out more about the handbag.
These experiences conjure a plethora of emotions – anxiety, apprehension, nausea, excitement, and others – that make our knees wobble, our hearts palpitate, and our bladders empty uncontrollably. It’s painful… and to just ask her out on a date?! Oh, the humanity!
Once we go through all that… sigh… there’s always the potential that the shoe doesn’t fit – or in this case, the handbag doesn’t match. Everyone, both men or women, I’m sure, has a set of search criteria by which the ideal mate is based. Adverbs like beautiful, intelligent, etc – the list just goes on and on – are all pre-requisites for the ‘relationship’ to move to the next level.
=== BREAK 4 ===
What a man really wants from a woman?
Personally, I like my woman pious, having the fundamental understanding of Islam by which a solid foundation can be built upon. I like them obedient yet not subservient. I like them intelligent yet not condescending, passionate but not overzealous, caring and not overbearing.
But most importantly, I like a woman who makes me feel good about myself, who accentuates my strength and hides my flaws, and someone who, regardless if I swing left or right, makes me a better man than I am without her.
Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah), I have found my LV Trevi PM Damier. She’s all that I could ask for in a woman, a daughter, a wife, and a mother. But she’s more than just an accessory; she’s the last piece of the puzzle that completes the being that is ME.
Everyone has a handbag waiting… somewhere. I guess you just have to find the right handbag for you. Just be patient. Sometimes the handbag finds you.
Oh… did I mention that the LV has gone up in value? So it should. It’s definitely a keeper. 🙂
___________________________________
NB: Currently, the Speedy 30 Damier is RM2700 and the Trevi PM Damier is RM6550
omg. i can’t believe i almost cried reading this! hope that one day someone will see me as his “perfect designer handbag!” *cheers
*speechless =0
Did he just compared a worthy girl with A handbag?
Dude, you are so wrong. We worth zillion of handbags!
A good piece though. Bravo Azmir. I hope more men apply this concept of investing-on-very-expensive-designer-bag to make their marriage happier than it already is 🙂
This is sooooooooo sweeeet!
Your wife must be glowing!!!
You guys sound do happy together and i pray for youe marriage to last forever! 🙂
so sweet you make me weep 🙂
good piece, azmir !
this is very sweet.
This is SO sweet. I loved it. I wish you and wife all the best in your marriage.
How thoughtful!
azmir, you’re the sweetest husband.. never have i teared when reading PD’s blog.. this is an awesome piece.. i wish you a happy life with your wife and the rest of ur family, inshaAllah 🙂
A thoughtful post by Azmir. Very interesting indeed. Congrats to you Azmir.
Since we are on the topic of handbags,I have a question to PD. I’m a guy and I wonder which brand(s) of handbag do women love the most? LV,Chanel or Gucci? You can tell your reader your personal preference and explain why if you don’t mind.
so sweeeeet!!!!!! your wife is one lucky woman, azmir :))
azmir,youre the man!lol.as for pd,luckily dean is already an expert in buyin designer goods.so after u guys get married pavillion surely will be ur second home lah hehe
Hey, LV is fab, but no need to diss Jaspal that much. Jessica Stam modeled for them, and it’s way better than guess, Paris Hilton, Sembonia, carlo rino or bonia(OMG) for that matter.
awwww what a cute post! why aren’t all men like you and Dean?
i bet when PD says “I like that”, she gets it the next day. lucky girls!
i loveeeeeeeeee this post. and i almost tear up.. *sheeeshhhhh* wut a sweet hubby you are Mr Azmir =)
A well-done piece of writing Mr. Azmir=)
dude!
your wife is one lucky woman!!!
what a nicely written entry.:)
That is one good article!love every bit of it!!! I should get my hubby to read it ;D
Anyways, Does Azmir have his own blog? I would love to read more.
Ladies…
I’m truly floored by your compliments and prayers. I’m also quite surprised by some of the reactions. I guess I have PD to thank for exposing my writing to you.
If I may say, it was not my intention to portray myself as a good husband. I am far from it… so so far away from it that I might as well be in another galaxy. 🙂
Being a good husband (and father) is the toughest job there is for a man. I make mistakes (lots of them) and I’m learning as I go.
But, in all honesty, my wife is NOT the one who is lucky to have me. It’s the other way around. I’m VERY LUCKY to have her.
Again, your comments have made my weekend and I SO appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Hopefully, I can write more in these pages in the future. 🙂
PD, thanks again.
Wassalam
aawww it was my pleasure azmir! see, i told you my readers will LOVE this article as much as i did!
i’m telling you…if all men think like you, the world will be a better place HAHAHA
🙂
keep writing azmir!
“But, in all honesty, my wife is NOT the one who is lucky to have me. It’s the other way around. I’m VERY LUCKY to have her…”
Awwwwwww, such a lovely article. 🙂
Azmir proud of you 🙂
PD love your writings.
thumbs up, Mr Azmir 🙂 just when we thought that all the good guys are depleting… and now, there is still hope 🙂
it’s not about the handbags, but more of the way you cherish and appreciates your wife, the way you express everything in words – teared me.
good job! and may you, wifey and kids lead a beautiful life, InsyAllah amin. 🙂
me likey this article! 🙂 it’s nice to hear things from a guys perspective
Mr Azmir (MA) thank you for this post. It made me realized that im a lucky wife too tho my hubby i far from being artistic like u ie in writing beautiful poem or post like this (hes in the technical field too so hes using that as an excuse)..
but y should i envy other ppl’s life ? just because hubby never uttered how much he loves and appreciates me as a wife to the world? so peeps no worries, if your bf or hubby is a lil shy (ahem) in expressing their feelings in words, just think of all the other sweet things they have done for u coz action definitely speaks louder than words..so if a man promise to give you the world than he better deliver that promise than merely saying it..coz in marriage, we need to be practical rather than living in lala land..a quality like what MA has is a bonus, but a man without it doesnt make him less a man..it makes him human…
owh too bad he’s off-limits!we want more of your testosterone’s thoughts
bring it on!
SA… there a lot of good guys out there, I’m sure. Just need to know where to find them. Hehehe..
AneesaBS… men don’t communicate well. We grunt, we burp, and we hope that you understand that. 🙂
Deloress… hopefully PD will allow me to grace her site with my thoughts again. Insya Allah.
Nice post Azmir!! He’s right, not all guys are bad and there ARE a lot of good guys out there…
There are MANY good guys out there. But the problem is, women almost always go for the bad ones, especially pretty women.
sweet post..hope to read another post from you mr azmir.
2 thumbs up!
its freakin funny how LV can make all living husbands scared to death!
love tis entry to bits!
this post plastered a big smile on my face!
Very nice post. Thumbs-up!
Thank you so much azmir.. Your story has enlightened my man (I asked him to read lol).. Now I’m HAPPY with my speedy 😉