Mom: You know you get pahala just by looking at me? So you should come and spend time with me.
Me: Why do you think I carry your picture with me everywhere I go? Sometimes when I’m alone, I just take it out and look at you. Then when I’m eating alone in the restaurant, I’d put your picture on the table and pretend I’m eating with you. Sometimes when I walk, I look at the picture while walking, risking my life.
Mom: You joke la like that….I don’t know….
Me: Ok ok kidding!! I love youuuuu.
*sits down and stares at her*
After a minute…..
Mom: Ishhhh I feel suffocated. Can you go away and do work or something? Mommy lemas la you dok pandang je!
Sheeeessshhhhh, what’s a girl gotta do to love her mom around here???
Today I came home and my kakak told me my mom’s upstairs, unwell. Apparently, she vomited 6 or 7 times. I joke with my mom a lot, but I do love her with all my heart and soul!! I dropped everything and ran upstairs. Kissed her all over and she was feeling very warm.
Fever, I thought.
Made her drink and eat medicine, and just lied down next to her, massaging her head.
“A little bit to the right….thank you…”
“Can you scratch my back also?”
“Massage my head like just now. You know…if anything happens to me and I become unconscious, I just want you to constantly play clips of the Quran around me so I can hear. And please ask forgiveness from everyone who knows me. Once I die, make sure you don’t take even a single cent ok, because when someone dies, their asset is frozen. If you take it, it will be haram. It has to be divided the Islamic way first. Give a bulk to charity, please. Please behave yourself when I die, and be a good girl. I guess you can have my handbags, but divide equally with your sister. Please don’t argue with your sister. Take good care of Daddy when I’m gone ok?”
“Ok, ok Mom, I massage your head, I massage your head.”
This was too deep for me to swallow. I know what she’s saying is amanah for me to take, but I didn’t want to hear all this! I was actually scared. For a second, I thought about what I’d do if my mom wasn’t here anymore. I would die inside!
After she dozed off, I went to get ready for bedtime in my room. I kept coming into her room to see if she was ok.
She was playing Bejeweled on the iPod.
She’s totally fine! Pffttt
But of course, it made me realise how much my mom means to me. I know we all know this, but it’s good to be reminded that heaven is under our mom’s feet. I remember playing with my mom’s feet when I was younger, and I asked her “Er Mommm….why does heaven look like THAT?” examining her dry skin.
She’s sleeping now next to me while I write this. And I just feel so close to her right now. I really don’t know what I’d do without her. God, I love my mom.
For readers who have lost their moms, I’m deeply sorry and I admire those I know who are so strong! Never stop making doa for them, and may God bless their souls, Insyaallah.
Just a reminder for us all; Be good to our moms.