hello chiropractor

August 16, 2011 • 41 comments • 1567 views

Blame it on Proudduck and FashionValet, I will now be a regular at the chiropractor’s clinic. πŸ™

I have been having pain on the shoulders and my back but the stubborn me just brushed it off like it’s a fly that will go away. It didn’t. It got worse and worse. So fearing being bed-ridden at the age of 30, I took the courage to go to the chiropractor today.

Arrived and had to take my shoes off.

Erk…I’m pretty sure my 4-inch wedges felt so out of place there and none of the flats wanted to be friends with it.

I forgot. Chiropractor clinic = where heels go to die.

Was brought to this room that looked suspiciously like Hammam’s massage room except this one had skeletons everywhere. The doctor asked me my problem and asked me several questions.

“Do you wear heels?”

“Sometimes…”

“Do you cross your legs?”

*Uncross legs* “Very rarely…”

“Do you stare at the computer a lot?”

“Sometimes…”

The answer to all those questions are actually ALL THE TIME.

And I wonder what I’m doing at the chiropractor’s clinic. *Slaps cheek*

So he made me lie down and made friends with my back and shoulder. Told me my problem:

1) My neck discs are damaged

I know right?!!!! He said that like he says yeah sure, get me some coffee.

But he was really nice actually, and explained things very well to noobs like me.

Ok so this is a bit of our back bone. In between the bones, there are sashimi lookalikes that are actually called discs. These discs separate the bones and absorb nutrients and fluid from the bones to keep them thick and juicy. I think.

So what’s happened to me is that my discs are degenerating and they can’t absorb nutrients anymore. So they become thinner and thinner and the bones compress causing me pain.

The doctor can’t tell if my discs have slipped on not until I’ve done MRI scan. But my mom has had slipped disc before and he says they’re 60% hereditary. So I know who will have to take care of me if God forbid, I have slipped disc. *looks at mom*

2) My spine isn’t properly aligned

Normal spines are curved. My spine has gone straight upwards.

*Gulp*

He scared me. He said if I was pregnant, I might get a miscarriage or I might have a very complicated pregnancy.

Not. Funny.

There are a few therapies that he recommended that I will have to undergo in the next few weeks to regenerate my discs and realign my spine. But until I get my MRI scan done, he can’t really tell which therapies I’d need.

 

For now, he gave me some Do’s and Don’ts.

1) No more high heels. (Fine….God intended me to be short, I might as well respect His wishes)

2) No crossing legs

3) No sitting on legs

4) Take breaks when on computer. (I’ve had to stretch 3 times just writing this blog post)

5) No heeavy handbags. (I was carrying my Balenciaga, and he said that has got to go. He no like Balenciaga…)

6) No looking down too much.

So now I text like this:

7) No massages (*CRIES*)

8) Sleep with the right pillow

 

Just when I thought my life was about to be sucked away by this doctor, he continued with the do’s and don’ts.

 

9) No exercise.

10) No cooking

11) No cleaning

12) No heavy lifting

13) No housework

 

You could hear the music go back into my ear.

Dean actually stole one side of my favourite wedges just so I can’t wear them. And he’s carrying my handbag now. But that’s just to annoy me because I always make fun of men who carry their women’s handbags. Karma.

And my dad is being all I-told-you-so about the computer. He says from now on, he’ll get someone to type for me while I read out what to blog.

You know… just sit there and dictate.

Queen Vivy has a nice ring to it, no?

In all seriousness, I will get an MRI done tomorrow and get a second opinion. If it’s not too late for you, just please take care of your muscles and spine etc.

Don’t piss them off.