home sweet home

January 7, 2012

“Imagine you are riding a boat. This boat is life. You will meet high winds and high waves representing Tests. A smart Captain and Co-Captain (husband and wife) work together to get the boat safely to the destination; Jannah (heaven).”

A bunch of us went for another Al-Kauthar course titled “Home Sweet Home” recently and it was conducted by Sheikh Alaa Elsayed. Mashaallah he is sooooo funny!! He made the 2-day course so fun and I actually had the I-don’t-want-to-miss-a-thing feeling.

Dean wanted to go for this course to learn about marriage and how to be a good Muslim husband. And I just melted to the ground.

The Sheikh taught us the Islamic way to a happy home, from the beginning when boy meets girl, until the part of raising children. He even talked about the MIL syndrome and how we should treat our mother in laws!

In the course, we first learned what to look for in a spouse. Basically, deen is utmost priority. Marry a man who prays, who respects his religion, who is honest and trustworthy. Marriage is a transfer of amanah, from the girl’s dad passed on to the husband, so good guys will know that they should not take it lightly and they will take care of this girl like precious gold. They should know their duties and rights as husbands, and likewise. Cos in the hereafter, as a leader of the family, you better know what to answer to God about what you did or didn’t do to her. God knows it’s hard to find men like this right now.

One thing that really hit me that the speaker said: “If you marry someone who doesn’t even fear God, you think he or she will fear the responsibilities he or she has towards you?”

Then we learned about how husbands and wives should treat each other. It’s nothing we didn’t know, but it’s a good reminder because a lot of people have taken each other for granted. Sheikh gave examples of real life situations that were so relatable and we all couldn’t stop laughing. Man, I wish all of you were there in the course! Some that I took down:

1) Complete each other, not compete with each other.

2) Don’t go to sleep angry. In fact, settle any arguments right away. If anything unwanted happens when you’re arguing, you’ll regret forever.

3) Be the source of peace and tranquility for each other. When things are hard, does your partner run to you or run away from you?

4) Women in nature are jealous beings. Always reassure them, compliment them, be romantic with them.

I’m sure there were also stuff women should do, but I was too busy texting Dean, “You hear that? You taking notes?”

Just in case he missed this slide

But in the course, we learned that it’s so easy for women to go to heaven. There are only 4 things you need to do: perform your solat, fast in Ramadhan, protect your chastity and obey your husband. And all gates of Heaven just open for you in the afterlife.

Islam preaches that you should always do things for the sake of Allah because we are servants to Him, but also because you’ll always be conscious of what you do when you know you’re being watched. If you fear God, you will be more patient, you will automatically be content with what you have, you won’t complain as much, you won’t just think about yourself. You do it for God because you know this life is temporary, we all will die and whether we believe in religion or not, we’d all choose heaven over hell.

In the course, he touched a lot on solat. The simplest thing we should look for in a spouse; WHETHER HE PERFORMS HIS PRAYER. If there are any non-Muslims reading this, Muslims are supposed to pray 5 times a day. To remind us of Allah, to start and end our days as Muslims, to keep ourselves in check, to always be grateful, to exercise, to be at peace, to cleanse ourselves throughout the day, many reasons! Thing is, sadly a lot of us, including me, take it for granted and sometimes even forget to do it because we’re so busy doing other things.

Sheikh Alaa really opened my eyes on Solat. He asked a simple question, “Would you rather pray now in an air-conditioned room, or pray in the hereafter with regret?”

Luckily, I found a video of him talking about Solat on YouTube! Hope you guys have a watch.


I love going to these courses because it makes me love Islam all over again. I’m far from perfect, but my new year’s resolution is to become a better Muslim, Insyaallah. And I want to start with my solat. This year I need to make a lot of changes. May Allah make is easy for me.

If you guys are interested in these courses, always have a check at Al-Kauthar, Al-Maghrib or the YMP Facebook fanpage. You’ll not only learn a whole lot, but you also get to meet so many good people and eat yummy food.

I met a blog reader too! Thank you for the picture, Salmiah 🙂

Scarf: Mukaa

Top: Pink Jambu