yours truly, real life
February 19, 2012Growing up.
I had a talk with a girlfriend recently and we were looking back at our school days and our future, and we both cringed. It’s so scary to think in a few years, we might have children and apparently they won’t pay for their own milk and diapers. And then we have house rent to pay for, car loans to settle and a gazillion more bills that just come sweeping through the holes of your door, no matter how you cover the little gap.
For some of us lucky ones, life has been good all along. We live comfortably and everything is Bank Mom & Dad. But now, real life begins. Credit cards get taken away, bills start being addressed to you and suddenly you’ve got to learn the parts of your car engine and what on earth a carburetor or something that sounds like that means. And you start having more and more respect for the people who you’ve seen overcome hard lives and never broke down in self-pity. Instead they just persevere.
It’s super scary trying to build you lives and accommodating insurance, children’s college funds and whatnot. Suddenly Chanel bags and Miu Miu shoes don’t seem so shiny because you’ve got more important things to think about. I think Dean and I are at that part of our lives, trying to sort out our future together and wanting to live a comfortable life. Believe me, I am learning every single day with running my own business. It’s not an easy task and it’s certainly not easy to get money on your own, without inheritance or a trust fund with your name on it. But with a little bit of good luck, a supportive family, an intelligent strategic partner, and a whole load of hard work and doa, they say things will work out fine. And so far, they’re right.
This is why you need someone who’s equally ambitious or more ambitious than you, because like it or not, money is important. Money is one of the highest reasons people get divorced. Love is awesome and dandy, but it won’t pay the bills! Here, landlord, have a little heart cookie I made just for you. Here, Celcom, I bought you a teddy bear for my March bill.
What I’m trying to say is please please be realistic in your choice of partner. I see so many people settling and thinking love is everything. It is! But you’ve also got to be practical and sit down with your future husband/wife, and have a GOOD TALK about what the future is like. Is he paying for your bills, are you guys going 50/50, where are we going to live, are you going to stop me from working, am I getting a pair of shoes every week, what’s the deal here dude?
Dean and I had our talk. Albeit with a little gulp, our future looks very exciting. But of course, that’s only if God wants it to be.
And guys, no shoes in the 2012 budget.
Heyreallifesohappytoseeyoutoo.
…yes, indeed… the real life is real scary… *cringe
insyaAllah, we all manage to pull through… insyaAllah… amin…
π dah besar pun vivy rupanya. Welcome to reality
morning vivy. yes,totally agree with your points there, especially on the part ‘you need someone who’s equally ambitious or more ambitious than you’
anyway, all the best π
so happy for you.
i pon ckp to my fren, tipulah if money tak important and yes dh lama xtgk henbeg baru.. huhuhu
these things have been bugging me too, but kept on pushing them at the very back of my mind..
I totally agree!:)
i cringe too!! would like to share this on my fb. thanks vivy
Yeay…welcome to the club. being married is not a fairytale with happy endings. it takes a lot of hard work,by both partners!
whenever my girlfrens goes all dreamy and excited abt being married, i’ll be one of those blunt frens who’ll shoot ’em down with questions like – financial issues, house, bills, car, etc. lagi-lagi if they say im not gonna work, im gonna be a full time housewife. *roll eyes*
women should be financially independent too. dont depend 100% on ur spouse. cuz that is when u lose ur voice to offer opinion. unless, u dont mind it la…
wow look who s talking π
True. Always be prepared, always have a nest egg because after you’re married & having a baby your expenses will soar. My hubby and I didn’t do research on baby expenses so we were like whoaaaaa after the baby was born. Now we’re more than experts on comparative price shopping! Hahaha.
Good luck in your future endeavors. Bring it on, eh?
Both my parents and in laws didn’t want a wedding of the year kinda concept, didn’t want the extravagant pelamin or fancy shcmancy hantaran or buat apa kad kawin yang $30 satu when at the end of it will end up in the garbage bins..Coz to them it’s juz to show off.. What’s more important is the life that their son and I have after the wedding…at first mmg rasa mcm wth kan..after all everyone would love to have their fairy tale wedding… Tapi now i rasa they were so right, it’s the life now that is more important..,, rather than spending 50grand on our wedding, it was put into our ASB for us to kick start our lives.. Alhamdulilah, life’s been not too bad .. Still can afford shoes every now and then.. π
Couldnt agree with you more, vv.. Thanks for the post, it reminds me to wake up and face the reality world……
love the wake up call
hie im a new blogger. check me out at
http://ntasneem.blogspot.com/
easy for you to say all these now that youve snagged Dean right? More like Din.jgn nak dean sgt.. the way u talk abt things.. as if life is a bed of roses. it is la for u. u were born into money, even the setting up of fashionvalet is obviously from daddy’s pockets.. dont tell me u did this all on ur own la.. u apa sgt.. masuk private school duit bapak.. chanel bag duit bapak.. usahawan konon.. some ppl really susah and here u r talking abt credit cards and chanel bags.almost all ur posts are so insensitive!
one word for u.. FAKE..
Wow Mel.. Envy much?! I guess your dad didn’t buy you much stuff or teach you manners looking at your comment.
Rezeki semua pemberian Tuhan kepada hamba Nya.. It’s not really nice to judge people you don’t really know in person, but I’m sure you know that already π
See ya later Quack Quack..
I somehow agree with Mel. Although I like reading your blog, you want us to say you’re amazing for saying all this?? How old are you again? Whatever it is, you’re too old to be STILL using your dad credit cards. Even if your dad loves your so much that he allows you, u should’ve had some decency and realization to be independent. Most of the stuff you said, are what most of us here experienced when we were students. And you’re just about to experience it NOW? How spoilt are you?
Haish orang dengki nie, can’t do very much for people like you MEL. Every business you open, more often than not u’ll certainly NEED an investor, whether it was your own father ke or someone u had to show your business plan to. Fact is, mashaAllah her business plan turned out well and fashionvalet is flourishing. Not all businesses do as I’m sure you’re aware of. All of that is obviously because Allah has allowed it to happen and because Vivy has worked her a** day and night to make it happen.
Why don’t you try and set up your own business? And how is her blog insensitive?? Its a conscious effort to read her blog, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to read it. Obviously most of her readers enjoy reading what she has to say. Anyhoo, may Allah make it easy for you.
omg. MEL, is that what u called yourself again? stop being pathetic. look who’s fake! Vivy is soooo great n independant. even if she was born into money, it shows that her parents studied hard and work hard to be wealthy!!! so did she. why dont you tell that to your parents first before saying things to her? worst case, her chanel beg is always hers. cant be yours =.=”
Mel darling….. it sounds like a bad case of sour grapes for you…. If you’re such a hater, why are u even reading Vivy’s blog???? Obviously you’re secretly fascinated with her and probably wish to God everyday that you had her life kan…. Ya her daddy’s rich, so what? How does that affect your life? If he wants to buy his daughter Chanel as opposed to Bonia, that’s his bloody problem innit??? and what do you know about her working life? U just read all the fun stuff that she writes about in here, if you were to spend ONE day at the office, u’d see how hard she works her cute butt off for her business. And even if Dean’s name is Dean ke Din ke Daud ke Dollah ke, mampus ah! suka hati dia la what she wants to call her fiance. Again, does it affect ur life? Ur probably depressed cos no one wants to marry you. Loser.
hahaha…yeah….even if she wants to call Dean “Durian” or “Dragon”, that’s her perogative. And if you read her blog properly, she clearly wrote “For some of us lucky ones, life has been good all along. We live comfortably and everything is Bank Mom & Dad.” She admits she’s a lucky one, she admits life is good all along, she admits she lives comfortably, she admits everything is Bank Mom & Dad. But she is also saying, real life begins now. Is it so wrong to have been blessed?? You obviously went to some kampung school where they didn’t teach you how to read properly and how to digest what people are actually saying.
you should write more about your thoughts, very inspiring vy! oh and you should add like a ‘tweet’ or share button or something. so we can tweet about your posts straight from your blog! π
Salam Vivy. Been a silent reader all the while. Kudos to you for sharing some good parts of your life here.. with us! You portrayed yourself all balanced.
@ Mel, sometimes it’s wiser to swallow those “lovely” words. Saying it all aloud makes us no better my dear. Inhale deeply and put a big smile to those words that displeased you okay!
@ Nottiedottie, many great personalities out there went to kampung school dear. Try using that “kampung” word intellectually please… TQ!
i agree on the good talk part, disagree on being equally or more ambitious part π
all the best vivy & dean! semoga dipermudahkan mencapai rezeki yang halal, gembira selalu dunia akhirat π