yours truly, real life

February 19, 2012

Growing up.

I had a talk with a girlfriend recently and we were looking back at our school days and our future, and we both cringed. It’s so scary to think in a few years, we might have children and apparently they won’t pay for their own milk and diapers. And then we have house rent to pay for, car loans to settle and a gazillion more bills that just come sweeping through the holes of your door, no matter how you cover the little gap.

For some of us lucky ones, life has been good all along. We live comfortably and everything is Bank Mom & Dad. But now, real life begins. Credit cards get taken away, bills start being addressed to you and suddenly you’ve got to learn the parts of your car engine and what on earth a carburetor or something that sounds like that means. And you start having more and more respect for the people who you’ve seen overcome hard lives and never broke down in self-pity. Instead they just persevere.

It’s super scary trying to build you lives and accommodating insurance, children’s college funds and whatnot. Suddenly Chanel bags and Miu Miu shoes don’t seem so shiny because you’ve got more important things to think about. I think Dean and I are at that part of our lives, trying to sort out our future together and wanting to live a comfortable life. Believe me, I am learning every single day with running my own business. It’s not an easy task and it’s certainly not easy to get money on your own, without inheritance or a trust fund with your name on it. But with a little bit of good luck, a supportive family, an intelligent strategic partner, and a whole load of hard work and doa, they say things will work out fine. And so far, they’re right.

This is why you need someone who’s equally ambitious or more ambitious than you, because like it or not, money is important. Money is one of the highest reasons people get divorced. Love is awesome and dandy, but it won’t pay the bills! Here, landlord, have a little heart cookie I made just for you. Here, Celcom, I bought you a teddy bear for my March bill.

What I’m trying to say is please please be realistic in your choice of partner. I see so many people settling and thinking love is everything. It is! But you’ve also got to be practical and sit down with your future husband/wife, and have a GOOD TALK about what the future is like. Is he paying for your bills, are you guys going 50/50, where are we going to live, are you going to stop me from working, am I getting a pair of shoes every week, what’s the deal here dude?

Dean and I had our talk. Albeit with a little gulp, our future looks very exciting. But of course, that’s only if God wants it to be.

And guys, no shoes in the 2012 budget.