kursus kahwin day 1
March 24, 2012Ok so today was Day 1 of Kursus Kahwin.
Headscarf: Mukaa
Necklace: Eltii (silver, bronze)
To non-Muslims, just to fill you in, every Malaysian Muslim who wants to get married has to undergo a 2-day pre-wedding course. To learn the ins and outs of marriage life and what our roles are as husbands and wives.
There are rumors that the course is going to extend to a week long course (due to the worrying divorce rates), so the current courses are always full of smart people dodging the future 7-day marriage camp. Including Dean and I.
The course wasn’t as bad as I anticipated it to be. Yes, my bum was numb by the end of it, but the speakers made a lot of jokes and stories. It wasn’t as dry as people say. (Of course this was only Day 1, ask me again tomorrow…)
The content was nothing that we didn’t know, but it’s a good reminder. Women have to be good to hubby, women have to give in to husband’s every whine and desire, women have to ask husband’s permission to leave the house, women have to serve husband food on the table, women have to get pregnant, women have to give birth, women have to give milk, women have to raise children, women have to be OK if husband wants to marry another. All the stuff we love to hear.
But there were some random but interesting facts I wrote down during the Health Topic.
1) To be more cheerful, eat banana and drink Horlicks.
2) To sleep better at night, drink warm milk.
3) To release stress, eat spicy food and chilli. So if you’re pissed off at your partner, go to the kitchen and chomp on chilli.
4) To have a healthy uterus and reduce birth defects, it’s acid folic and an example of good food is grapes.
5) To make hot temper worse, eat sweet things.
6) To increase sex hormones, eat mangoes.
7) To decrease sex hormones, start smoking cigarettes.
MasyaAllah sejuk nye tengok muka vivy bertudung.:)
Funny summary! I remember when it was my turn to go to kursus kahwin. The speaker said the first 7 years is the adjustment period for married couples. All the best, Vivy and Dean! π
Vivy, are u ok if Dean is going to take 2nd wife and 3rd and 4th in the future??? I hope that you are ready because this is allowed in Islam. a week marriage course is not enough. It should be at least 3 to 6 months. Come as a couple and discuss what are the problem that you guys facing in relationship and ask the speaker to advice. this will be a better course rather than just listening to something where 5 years old girls also know……
vivy, im also took kursus kahwin today but mine was half day only from 2.30pm until 6.30pm but tomorrow will be full day
i hope it will be interesting or else i have to prepare some sweets…owh, i love random facts. i nak buat jugaklah…hehe
i love my kursus kawin back then! no stress at all with all the jokes and interesting stories kan? good luck to you v!
Salam Vivy & other readers,
I just wanna share this video from Sheikh Khalid Yasin, who said wife doesn’t mean a servant to her husband. This should be an eye opener for men, whom I often heard saying “Nak kawin la, senang sikit ade orang jaga makan pakai” !@#$%^&@$%$%^%&*^&!
http://youtu.be/NZOC07dHwDw
Malaysian marriage courses are so outdated and the content poured during lectures sometimes were rather misleading, biased and not scholarly researched. JAIS and JAKIM seriously need to revamp the marriage course and educate the ‘penceramahs’. The man is the head of the family and the emphasis should be given on how they should shoulder their responsibility based on islamic principles.
Celine, i 100% agree with you.JAKIM should do something about it because the divorce rate in Malaysia among muslim is the highest. And usually Jakim always tell the wife must do this and that, but they rarely emphasis that sometimes husband can do this and that for the wife too, just to help around. And they think that couple will survive after the 2 days course? come on… even after marrying for 20 years, you still need counselling from the right people, not just the penceramah, who just want to earn money. Are we ok, if our husbands want to take 2nd wife??? I’m NOT OK WITH THAT!!!!!! 1husband=1wife
Plz do watch LICENSE TO WED!!!! That will show in a way what a marriage life is all about…funny and witty but yet, a good lesson to watch!! But ofcourse it’s the mat salleh version…played by Mandy Moore….and yes out kursus kahwin is very much outdated!!!
Why didnt u write about role of husbands as well? The non muslim may get the wrong idea from the way u wrote. Could it be that d reason people think Muslim women r oppressed is because we protray it that way when clearly we ARE NOT. I love your writing normally but dont quite like this one dear.
Errr Za, cos that’s what we were taught at the course on the first day. They focused more on the women and less on the guy, which is sad because men should also be taught how to lead a family etc etc. That’s why people don’t like the compulsory wedding courses. But it was only the first day, so I didn’t want to pre-judge. Perhaps the men’s stuff will be taught on the 2nd day. I’ll wait and see.
I guess every religion teachings are different. I am also attending PMC (Pre Marital Counselling) classes and its held over 7 weeks. One of the key things that I learned during the classes is that for a successful marriage to happen, wives need to submit to their husband and husband to love their wives like they love themselves. If that is the base of a marriage, I don’t think there will be problems. Another thing is the 60 40 rule. You give 60% and expect only 40% in return. Or 70 30 or even 80 20. Whichever works for you. Give more and expect less. Hope that will help.
Thanks for the tip! Love that. Give but don’t expect. Kinda like do it for love, not to get something in return.
v sayang..pi course tu dia bagi basic je kan, being muslim kita definitely kena ikut Al quran dan sunnah, kalau baca macam mana Rasulullaqh saw layan semua wife dia, rasa best giler jadi ppn muslim nih, Rasulullah saw lelaki paling gentlement di dunia ni, tahu dak yang org putih duk buka pintu keta semua tu Rasulullah dah buat kt isteri dia dulu, isteri nak naik unta , Rasulullah saw duduk bagi isteri baginda pijak peha dia untuk naik,how sweet kan..so beli buku pasal Rasulullah saw bagi deen baca noo, kalau dia ikut semua Rasulullah saw buat, jgn risau v darling, u will ever be the no one queen to deen :))
You’re welcome π Yep PD, that’s right. Love unselfishly. Give and expect less in return. Give and don’t expect anything in return. Love unconditionally.
I recommend to go for extra talks .. like the Al-khautsar.. gives a more indepth knowledge on how to start a family according to islam .. the rights of husband and wife … it is sooooo much better if compared to the usual khusus kahwin also, talks are by sheikhs from Saudi π and there is fairness for wivess π so chill haha
oooh i went for al-kauthar marriage course. i agree, it was sooooo good and it touched on both husband and wife roles.
my apologies, typo error, al-kauthar! haha, btw, good luck on your upcoming nuptial π I recently just got married myself, it’s really an awesome feeling, masyaAllah π
u look sooo good in hijab…y dont you start your new marriage life with a new imagine π keep it up!
First and foremost, let all men be reminded that although the religion allows a husband to have four wives, there are strict and strong conditions attached to them- which most,if not all men, conveniently forget! Secondly, the increasing divorce rate for the past 2 decades is not due to the lack of knowledge & marriage courses. History would show that during our forefathers time when there were NO premarriage courses, most husbands ended their lives with only one wife and had been able to be a responsible father as well as husband. Outside Malaysia, there are no JAKIM courses conducted and yet it is reported that the divorce rate amongst muslim families are significantly lower than this nation. So why is that? Could it be that the more courses you provide, the divorce rate increases? By the way, I am both Muslim and a man.
I guess Jakim just want to control the muslim in this country. they (JAKIM ) feel very insecure with the muslim in this nation. They think that muslim in this country cannot handle themselves but they (JAKIm) actually do not know how to be a true Muslim….
so sweet you wearing tudung!
wowwww…love it when u wear tudung π
for sure cantik macam Datin Norjuma ..well dua2 cantek π
very good topic for pre-wed course
This is a good summary,can I share it with all the bride-to-be on my side of the world? π tengs vivy! π
Assalamualaikum..
I’m a new here…and Vivy sangat cantik with ur black tudung..
Congratulation n u r going to be a wife…alhamdulillah..wish u r be good wife 4 ur hubby..n also ur hubby then will be show u d right way into ur life…