March 23, 2012

I was wearing eltii necklace, Flapperwings Project cardigan, and Loushkii skirt

Dean took me house-hunting the other day and it was a whole crazy step for us.

As soon as I stepped into the first place we saw with the agent, my heart fluttered with excitement.

Oh. My. God.

I’m a grown-up.

This is it. This was the bucket of water that splashed in my face, telling me to wake up. It wasn’t about the dress, it wasn’t about the flowers, the centerpieces, the way the napkin should be folded…this was my married life about to begin. This was the floor I am expected to mop, the washing machine I am expected to figure out, the fridge I am expected to fill, the stove I am expected to be friends with…..

It was so scary!

We looked at a few apartments and chose what sort of size we wanted, the facilities, the budget-friendly ones etc. And Dean and I looked at each other and we couldn’t stop smiling. We are both so excited to start the rest of our lives together, building a family and I honestly felt so overwhelmed I wanted to cry.

Then, I came home and saw my parents and I wanted to cry even more. I don’t wanna leave them!!!! I love them so much, God!! I don’t want to not come home to them, but this is all part of the life process huh? Leaving the nest I lived in for the longest time. Everyone goes through that, even our parents left their nests.

I’ve never felt this feeling before. Being extremely excited and happy, and being extremely sad and nostalgic. At the same time.

Crazy, crazy, feelings. Only God knows.