hormones raging

February 19, 2013

I don’t know what it is but man I’ve been weeping like a 5 year old girl lately. Kleenex, Premier, I’ve got them all. In desperate times, I even use toilet paper to wipe my eyes, instead of my bum.

It’s the damn hormones I tell you.

It all started when Dean and I were looking at some baby stuff. And I picked up this ridiculously expensive and impractical top and put it in my already impressive pile of Baby D’s wardrobe.

Dean turned to me and what I heard was: “Baby, don’t be stupid and crazy. I don’t love our baby and he/she doesn’t need clothes.”

Ok fine, his actual words were:

“Baby, we don’t need to buy 10 tops for our baby all at once. We already got 5 outfits for him/her just now. We don’t even buy that many for ourselves in one shopping outing.”

I put the pile back and said, “Fine. Let’s not buy anything then. Our baby doesn’t need clothes,” and I walked away with tears, already thinking in my head how to wrap a baby nicely in my peplum top since he/she won’t have any clothes.

I of course, conveniently chose to discard the fact we already bought LOADS of baby stuff the day before.

Dean was so shocked at my reaction that he just raced after me speechless. Poor guy!!! He had no idea Walking Volcano was erupting. I’m sorry baby, it’s just the hormones, I promise you.

After he wiped my tears, he explained very patiently why our baby doesn’t need another Baby Gucci sweater because Malaysia is hot and our baby doesn’t care if he/she wears Gucci or not, and he/she knows regardless of his/her wardrobe collection, Mommy does love him/her very much, ok? And Mommy loves him/her more because she will put that money into his/her education fund instead.

Ok, I nodded while blowing my nose.

But the tears vault hasn’t closed and is still very much ajar, fragile to any sudden trigger. Dean was sleeping and I was sobbing just watching him, thinking how much I love him and how perfect he is. My mom texted me she missed me and tears just fountained out of my eyes. I listened to a sad song and start wailing about how people out there are suffering and I don’t deserve to drink that Coffee Bean ice-blended luxury. I watched Bride Wars on the plane and I had to ask for extra tissue. Bride Wars!! It’s a freaking COMEDY!!

Four more months, baby. In the meantime, please bear with me.

Wearing an orange top from Mimpikita <3 FV collection.