please kick

April 22, 2013

Sketch by @iskandarhanan

This is usually me when Baby D kicks or punches inside my uterus (well, this is me minus the yoga class haha).

It’s not that I don’t like it but it’s very shocking to see a part of my tummy suddenly go bloob bloob, and I can’t help but squeal softly every time which scares people. Haha. And a lot of the times, it’s not just a quick jab but it’s a slow but hard graze against my inner walls. Oh man, that one I feel so geli!

Yesterday, I sat next to a friend and she was telling me a really sad story. Her best friend gave birth to a baby, but the baby had died 3 days before that in her womb as the umbilical cord twisted the baby’s neck. I immediately felt tears come to my eyes. I just can’t imagine… 9 whole months of enduring the ups and downs of pregnancy, the excitement of baby preparation and just the general happiness when you think about how a baby will colour your life… and this ultimate test from God is given to you.

Man… I think I am pretty strong in a lot of things emotionally, but this one… this one is really really heartbreaking. I don’t even know this lady, and I already want to cry for her. May Allah give her abundance of strength to get through this, and lots of rezeki hopefully in the form of children in the future. He won’t let you go through something you can’t get through, right?

Since then, whenever I’m alone with Baby D, I keep rubbing my tummy and going please kick, please kick, please kick. 

And when Baby D responds by kicking back, I just sigh in relief and go thank You so much Allah, thank You thank Youuuu.

Oh the endless mommy worries have started huh? I thought it starts when your kid starts going to school and discovers the opposite sex… but no… it starts from the womb!