earning your stripes

May 25, 2013

Dear 20 weeks me,

Remember that time when someone asked you about stretchmarks and asked what they should use to prevent it? And you smiled and said โ€œOh you should definitely get this brand X because it really wonโ€™t give you stretchmarks!โ€ And you walked away happy thinking you gave good advice to your friend.

Well perhaps next time, you should not be so smartypants. Maybe donโ€™t open your big fat mouth until you yourself have completed your pregnancy stretchmark-free.

I would like to inform you that three red veiny lines have appeared below your belly and that is with you religiously rubbing the precious oil everyday since first trimester. I screamed at them to go away as soon as I saw them, but they seemed pretty happy to stay there. In fact, they might even bring more friends into their little group.

Whoโ€™s laughing now?

Not you.

Definitely not me.

And neither will that stretchmark oil company that wil be getting an interesting email with pictures soon.

Love,

33 weeks me.