crying it out

June 7, 2013

I love having a blog because sometimes we forget our life’s journey and there are just too many memories that it’s impossible to remember them all. I especially love writing about my pregnancy and its ups and downs because the body really goes through so much change. Don’t get me wrong, whenever I write about the downs, it’s not that I’m complaining. I’m just documenting it so my kids can read and be nice to me when they grow up. *peace sign*

Wearing a top from Sister Margaritta from FV.

(everything’s currently 30% off with this brand)

I’m 9 months now.

And you have nooooo idea how much I want to give birth like…. now now. Not just because I’m really excited to have Baby D in my arms and finally lie down on my stomach again, but I’m also really really tired. I feel extremely heavy and moving around is really a task. You guys know how much I love my phone right? Nowadays if I’m sitting on a couch or lying down on the bed, and my phone beeps on the other side of couch/bed, I just kind of look at it for a long time and hope it’ll come to me. Sometimes I lift my arm up to reach for it, but when I realise my arms aren’t that long, I just move on with life on that side of the couch/bed.

My butt hurts, my legs are sore, my tummy is stretched… and my bidan is all like “Ala… dia nak membesar lagi tu, nanti kembang lagi ni…

Like seriously, people are just begging for tight slaps huh? She’s right up there on my list next to people who say “Belum turun lagi ni… uishhhh lambat lagi ni….”

Last night I cried (proper full-fledged kind of crying) for the first time. Dean was sleeping and I couldn’t find a comfortable spot to sleep and leg cramps kept creeping up every 10 minutes, so I just cried. Cried and cried. I was just so tired. And Dean woke up thinking it’s labour. Dude, if it’s labour, I’d be so happy waiting at the door with my hospital bag and holding your car keys. He kind of panicked seeing me cry and just hugged me tight. And when he did that, all the hiccups and hingus started coming out. He told me all sorts of nice things like it’s ok and you can do it and just a little bit longer. Although none of his words fixed anything, I really did appreciate him trying. God bless nice husbands like these.

I don’t think it’s wrong to cry. People keep telling me to be cheerful and positive throughout pregnancy and not whine of pain etc, but there’s just no way someone can be that annoyingly chirpy for 280 days (40 weeks of pregnancy). I felt so much better after crying and I rubbed my belly saying “It’s ok, baby… it’s not your fault… Mommy’s just hormonal…” followed by some soft hiccups and sobs and a whisper of..

“…but if you’re ready to come out, I’m cool with that….”