did you eat?
July 18, 2013 • 32 comments • 3599 viewsAt what age do you teach your children to fast during Ramadhan?
I see my sister training my nephew and niece who are 7 and 5, and man… sometimes it breaks my heart seeing them clutching their tummies moping around the house waiting for 7.30 pm.
“Why must I fast? Daniel’s not fasting! See, he’s drinking milk,” the niece points at the poor innocent newborn with much envy. As if Baby D can fast! He already looks similar to this now.
Then my sister has to explain to her the concept of Ramadhan and how it’s every Muslim’s duty to fulfill the 5 pillars of Islam.
And then what happens when you know they cheated and had a drink in school? Or they ask the nanny for food and tells her not to tell Mommy? Haha. Come on, don’t judge. We’ve all done that. (Well… I have, anyway…) So what then? Do we scold/punish them?
It was 6 pm and my nephew was almost dragging his arms on the floor, so weak and helpless.
“Mommy….” He begs softly. “Mommy, please, can I please have a drink please?”
I’ve never heard that many “please” coming from his mouth, I almost teared of joy. Haha.
My sister looked at me with a what-do-I-do-this-breaks-my-heart look. I gave her back the same look. We were both left with so much guilt seeing the little one in hunger. Dean came back and was adamant that he should fast through since he’s a big boy already. So he was left with Uncle Dean cheering him up and distracting him with funny conversations and well… the TV. Soon, the little boy fell asleep (and both my sister and I kept going to his nose to check if he was still breathing… haha).
They say the funniest things though.
“Mommy, the clock is moving so slow. Can you check if it’s spoiled?”
“Mommy I need aircond… I need air, Mommy… I need the air and the aircond, Mommy…”
“Mommy, you said I can eat when it’s dark,” niece then crawls under a bean bag. “It’s dark in here so can I eat in here?”
“I’m so mad at this spoiled clock!!!!”
And my personal favourite:
My nephew was grumbling so much so my sister explained to him that Allah swt loves the Muslims who fast and will put them in heaven.
“I can’t, Mommy… I really can’t.”
“Come on, baby. You can do it! Only a few minutes to go. Remember, do you want neraka or do you want syurga?”
Nephew let out a big sigh before saying, “Sugar, Mommy, I want sugar…” and he walks away dragging his feet to somewhere with aircond.
I’m sure he meant to say syurga.
-____-
vivyyyyy!! this is too cuteee and u’r soo funnyyy!!!! hahahaha
yes, so pity to see children suffer from starving..~ even the parents keep encourage them to continue puasa even they can see the children’s pale face and dry lips. TT.TT siap bg reward lagi kalau berjaya puasa penuh! my parents did that to me too. i learn from a facebook status, actually whats right is, make the child to solat first. teach them to consistently solat 5 waktu and get them used to it. because none of the people who jaga solat didnt perform puasa. but there are people who consistently puasa in Ramadhan but didnt perform solat 5 waktu. make sense right? hope my sharing help!
i dont force my kids to fast. kesian. i force them to solat… just quoting wat an ustaz told me once.. “kalau sempurna solat dia, maka sempurnalah amalan dia yg lain.. “. i believe dats true coz org yg solat dah tentu puasa tp org yg puasa blm tentu solat..
suruh your sis ajar dorg puasa half day dulu jgn terus full day.
I also don’t force my 5yo to fast yet. I want him to solat first and I believe everything else will come in place naturally when he has mastered the solat. Right now, I just ask him if he wants to fast and if he says yes, it usually lasts till 8am. Hihi!
Hahahaha gotta love your niece&nephew!!!!!
ustaz said at 7 y/o the most important is solat..dont need to fast..because its menganiaya..kids cannot stand fasting..better in this fasting month they learn to solat perfectly and let them be kid..
Force the kids to solat first as itu benda yang wajib. At their age, puasa bukan Benda yang wajib untuk the kids.. Don’t force them… Kesian
The last part is very funny.. “Sugar, Mommy, I want sugar…” ^^
I want “Sugar” too 🙂
Miss that little boy…
i agree with the comments. in islamic parenting, introduce and teach the children to solat first, then when they are old enough, they will perform puasa. it’s ok if we want to let them try fasting at young age, but when they really tak larat, let them break their fast. tak sampai hati tgk.. hihi.
Betul… x perlu paksa budak umur 7 tahun utk puasa. Tp kalau budak tu dh solat 5 waktu… bacaan solat pon dah pandai, x salah juga kalau kita beri galakan utk berpuasa penuh. Langsung x salah sebenarnya. It is a good practice for them actually. Practice makes perfect kan.. takkanlah dh umur 10tahun baru kita nk paksa budak tu.. karang takut lain pulak di kepala diorg “oh ok je aku x puasa, mak ayah x pernah marah aku pon”.. itu example sahaja… yg lain2 wallahualam.
Hahahaha lmao-ing till the very end! xD
Saya setuju….anak hendaklah disuruh solat fardhu 5 waktu dahulu apabila telah berumur 7 tahun (ada hadis sahih), kemudian barulah dilatih berpuasa mengikut kemampuan anak itu….
Ibu bapa kena ajar anak solat dulu sebab orang solat confirm tahu hukum puasa. Tapi selalu je nampak orang yang berpuasa tapi tak solat. Kalau ikut rukun islam, hukum solat lebih tinggi daripada puasa dan amalan pertama yang ditimbang adalah solat. Kesian umur lima tahun dah kena paksa puasa. Lebih baik kasi depa puasa separuh hari kalau depa larat. Wallaualam.
I can’t remember fasting at the age of 7, not even half a day but what i know is when i was 8 i puasa penuh. God knows how did that happen.
True say on all the comments above. If forcing them to puasa, it might just end up like what u said, breaking fast behind the parents’ back etc. The point of puasa is to teach the kids to be God conscious. So let them be scared of Allah first before the parents. Insha’Allah the rest will come in smoothly when they understand the concept of Allah. 🙂
O gosh.kesiannya.i cant bear to read your nephew and nieces’s converations.breaks my heart.
Yes i agree with most of your readers.most ulamaks reiterated dat shud start train kids to pray til sempurna by age of 7.the religion doesnt say dat abt fasting.as solat hinders us fr doing evil stuffs.so when we perform solat,fasting shud comes naturally.
I was taught the exact opposite too. Fasting was greatly emphasised first then solat. As a result i’m always liat to pray growing up. Even up to now,most times i have to practically (and literally) drag myself to pray. Not fun ok.
So let’s do what the prophet says and we can nvr go wrong.:)
I didn’t start fasting fully until I was 10, maybe even 11. They are only 7 and 5. I’m sorry to say, but it’s quite unfair to be FORCING them to fast like that when it’s pretty obvious that they can’t cope. They are children and there are leeways for them. Allah knows and understands. Training doesn’t have to be a full day of fasting. Just ease them into it by making them fast until noon or 4PM or some other set time. Over time, they will adapt to it.
Qouted from Ustaz Dato’ Abu Hasan Din Al-Hafiz
“Yang saya sedihnya apabila masuk bulan ramadhan ada di kalangan ibu-bapa paksa anaknya yang berusia 7 tahun puasa. Kesian budak tu sampai lembik puasa…Sedangkan Nabi suruh paksa anak yang berusia 7 tahun tu sembahyang bukan puasa. maka bila besar automatik dia akan puasa sbb inshaAllah yang sempurna solatnya akan berpuas”
Wallahualam…
Semoga kita menjadi ibubapa yang dapat membimbing anak kita ke jalan yang benar.. sbb itu saya memilih Islamic Montessori supaya dapat menerapkan pelajaran agama kerana kita sebagai ibubapa zaman moden yang bekerja ni..mungkin kurang masa untuk mereka…
i remember my little sister (no longer little now) 1st time puasa. “Mama tolonglah adik nak minum air jer. air liur adik dah habis dah ni. keringgggg sangat TT_TT”.
Salam –
betul, yang paling penting, kena tekankan kepentingan solat. jangan jadi mcm orang kita sekarang, majoriti puasa, tapi solat tidak.
Wallahua’lam bs.
My son start fasting (full) at age 9 and i’m not ashamed of it. Before that age, puasa tak penuh sebulan pun depends on ketahanan dia. I personally think 9 yrs old is the right age to teach them puasa… badan dah tahan dan kuat untuk belajar berpuasa. Ni baru nak hidup dah suruh puasa.. menganiaya is the right word. Boys & girls have different ketahanan diri. Girls lebih tahan dr boys. Age 5 & 7 are too young for fasting, pity them. Teach to solat first that’s what being said in the quran. Plsssssss let then eat la.. at least drink.. nama pun belajar puasa.. huhuhu..
komen semua org semua sama but am sure aman and zara (is it zara?) dah diajar solat terlebih dahulu.myb kakak vivy nk ajar anak2nye sedari awal utk berpuasa.x adil rasanye all the comments bunyik mcm kakak vivy x menitikberatkan soal solat anak2nye.knowing vivy yg funny, dia hanya bercerita the funny part of 2 kids yg berpuasa dan kita tak tau the whole storykan coz we dun live with them so dun b too judgemental. …peace y’ll and salam ramadhn 🙂
I’m sure her sister also teach the kids to solat.its her way of educating her kids.u cant simply call its menganiaya.if u see from a positive way,it can be said that her sister tgh mendisiplinkan anak2 & mangajar mereka bersabar.
Vivy,congrats on your newborn.Salam Ramadan.
Agree with Lya. 🙂
Sooooooo hilarious!!
I want sugar toooo. HAHAHAHA.
hi vivy..
This post is about puasa and here i am commenting even though i am not muslim.
But after so many comments, i think i go with lya. She got the point there not to touch on the islamic views..but more to say the comments from others seolah-olah menyatakan ur sister tidak menitikberatkan pasal solat rasanya macam ya..a bit judgemental there…
To vivy congrats to ur newborn baby boy..i am dying to wait for your labour story. Sebab hari tu sy pernah comment at ur IG, pasal nak ambil epidural ka tak…
Apapun, enjoy every moment with your precious child..
God Bless you
Semua shd congrats niece n nephew vivy, n mak su bole bg tahu dia org tentu lg semangat depa nk puasa n nk sugar.. 🙂
Kids are so adorable. Congrats on your newborn daniel 🙂
My, my…have we got a bunch of judgemental mommies here! Before jumping onto conclussion, how are you SURE that Vivy’s sister has not taught her kids to solat?
Formative years of children brain is 0- 6. They are like sponge during these time…best time to teach them to perform their solat and puasa. Even to follow action is easier thought when younger. And the great thing you would never have
to resort to punishing them.
It is much easier to teach kids when they are younger. You ease them into it . From breakfast till lunch and gradually up to break of fast. Do not force but be FIRM…after all its WE, the parents that play a pivotal role in bringing our children up!
Ramadhan Kareem! This is the monthy of purity. Jangan nak simply buat assumptions yang negative….!!!
I personally think it’s okay to train children to fast at younger age. 5 is pretty young, but there are some children at age 5 who can fast. Sometimes it is psychology. I believe training children to fast and pray should go together. But yes don’t be too strict on them since they are still young. Training does not mean the children must fast for full 30 days in Ramadhan right, it could be just one or two days of full fasting. On other days could be half day etc. Chill out… perhaps what VV wrote was just on the day when the children were trying to fast for fullday… Anyway, good effort… I am training my 5 years old too but only for half or two-third of the day. He’s too active that I don’t think he can stand it. Yes he too questioned why his 3 years old sister get to eat and drink and not fasting. It’s cute… I told him, that there were kids in syria who didn’t have anything to eat… I hope he get to learn something from his training.
Better to start early! 😉 i started to fast fully since the age of 7. just to share, I have a friend who prays but x fast. She said she cannot not eat & smoke in the day 😉
Salam..Viv.
Hahaha…so funny lah your anak saudara. Sugar ye. My anak also kata nak masuk syurga sebab kata dia kat syurga boleh byk makan byk ice cream.
Btw, I trained anak I puasa masa umur dia 5 tahun. Breakfast pagi…dan buka puasa lunch. Benda ni jadi sehingga dia berumur 6 tahun. On the same time..I ajar dia solat cukup 5 waktu. Hantar sekolah agama instead of gov school biasa tu.
When she was 7, dia start berpuasa penuh. excited nak puasa bukan nak raya. raya tu dia anggap biasa2 aje. solat ada juga dia tuang. Tapi I ajar lah dia..kalau tuang solat..puasa jadi zero. Oh yes..dia pernah berbuka pukul 7pm semata nampak banana dan papaya. aih!
Now dia dah 8 tahun. 2-3 bulan before ramadhan…mulut dia asyik cerita pasal ramadhan. rindu2 sgt dgn ramadhan. tapi dia dah ckp awal2. sbbkan dia kecik lagi dia tak larat buat terawih. dia janji bila umur dia 9 thn dia akan berterawih.
hihihi…so…to you anak saudara…hwaiting. tak pe slow slow ye.
Selamat berbuka Viv dan baby D and anak saudara.