Before being a mom, I used to squirm at the mention of breastfeeding. The thought of a human being hanging on your boobs all the time made me shiver. At the time, I thought… wow, that’s not normal… and it must hurt a lot! What if the baby bites your nipple off?!  And I would see moms breastfeeding in public and thought Oh no… what is that?!

So throughout pregnancy I was pretty freaked out with how I’d be when it’s my turn to breastfeed. I didn’t know if I could bring myself to do it, as well… I’m sorry, I know it’s supposed to be a beautiful thing, but to a non-mom it’s just a foreign concept having liquid come out of there and someone having a meal in that region.

A few minutes after I gave birth, the midwife comes to me with the baby and goes “Ok, time to breastfeed.”

What?!! So soon?! I just showed you my hoohaa now you want to see my boobs too?!!

After I realised it’s just her job to teach me how to breastfeed, the shame just went away. She’s pretty much seen all of me anyway, what’s one more thing added to that list… sigh.

I stayed only one night in the hospital after Daniel was born and the nurse comes in every few hours to make me breastfeed. Worse than police…

And everytime I tried, Daniel would just turn away from it. He would clamp his lips tight leaving me with rejection worse than my puppy love breakups.

“Why don’t you want me?!!” I would ask him desperately. He gives me his ‘sombong’ face and just closes his eyes.

Well, I did some reading and apparently the first few days the baby won’t want to eat much because it’s still got food in him from when you were pregnant. I kind of get it though.. The last day of pregnancy, I had dim sum, pasta, chatime, McDonalds, mee kari…. All that combined would knock anyone out for a few days, I guess. I don’t blame him for not wanting me. I wouldn’t want plain old milk after all those yummy dishes either.

On the 4th day… my god!!!

All he wanted was to just hang off me! He wanted to drink a llllllll the time making me unable to do anything else… like eat or shower. My sister even calls me Boobs now because that’s all I’m good for these days. Haha. I wish I can train him into having a proper meal routine, but because he’s still so tiny (and just so cute) I don’t have the heart to ignore him when he cries for food.

So since I’m breastfeeding all the time, please knock on the door before you come in to my room. You wouldn’t want to see things you don’t want to see. Haha.

When I’m out in public, I’ve got this nursing cover to protect people from a scary image.

Eleanor nursing covers from FV (sold out so fast, we’ll restock more soon)

But when I’m desperate and I can’t find my nursing cover… I bring attractive to a whole new level.

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Marc Jacobs Fall Winter?? Sigh.

As my sil would say, hantu momok in the house.