a moment of defeat
November 23, 2013Today, I let syaitan influence me and I wish there was a pepper-spray to shoo them away.
I’m going to be completely honest and tell you that today I had a moment of weakness. I’ve been superrrr tired this week because Daniel isn’t really sleeping through the night and I admit I haven’t been the most fun person to be around. And who do I let it out on? Why, my lucky man who sleeps next to me, of course! The closest target. Hehe.
It’s normal for husband and wife teams to argue and pick fights with each other, but I try my best to avoid doing this. I know Dean has so many others things to think about as the leader of the family, and which husband would appreciate a wife who nags and nags all the time. And worse, make comparisons to other husbands. But today I did that. I actually uttered the words “But X and Y did this recently. I’ve had a horrible week, why can’t you show some appreciation and do the same for me?”
After I said that, I wanted to slap myself. I am not a person who likes to compare. In fact, I always tell people everyone is different and it’s so so dangerous to generalize and compare one to another. That’s when all envy and jealousy starts, when people start comparing. So I have always been against that. I felt so defeated by syaitan. Through the thin air and invisible to the human senses, I know I made them so happy that they were probably laughing and high-fiving each other.
I knew I hurt Dean when I said that, so after I calmed down, I went to him and explained myself. Not merely because of my wife status, but because I am genuinely a happy one. In my eyes, Dean is a flawless husband and he always goes the extra mile to make me happy. How on earth did it even cross my mind to think that what he has given me isn’t enough, I have no idea. I have everything I possibly need! What I said was completely uncalled for.
So this is just a reminder to myself and all; don’t be consumed by other people’s lives. Be happy for other people’s rezeki and at the same time, appreciate your own rezeki. Live for your own life, love your loved ones and count your blessings everyday.
I honestly believe that’s the key to happiness.
As for me, well this wife sure needs to cook some nice dinner tonight to make up!
I love this post. A reminder to me too. Gosh, God knows how many times I get pissed off and compare husbands too. Trying to control my words now… thanks again for this.
Salam V. A big fan of your blog and I can relate to most of your posts. You write very well on any subject matter, thanks for the inspiration.
However just one advice on blogging personal marital issues – try to minimise them as it should be just between the both of you. That’s what marriage is all about. Sweet and sour moments between husband and wife. The world does not need to know about it.. And it’s best to keep it between the two of you so that other hamba Allah won’t use it against you in the near future.
Nonetheless do continue blogging on other areas especially on Daniel, such a cutie pie. Take care. Salam.
Salam Arisha,
Thanks for your kind reminder. I am always advised that as well, so I try to be careful nowadays when writing about Dean and I.
However this post isn’t to divulge details of my marriage, but it’s more of a reminder to myself and my readers to always be grateful of what we have. We’re all human beings and we all need reminders every now and then from each other. I hope all my readers can see it this way too! π
Vivy thanks to show us that u’r human too..
Thanks Vy for the awesome reminder. I just had a row with my husband, and in my head I did compare him with other husbands. My husband is an awesome one, and it’s just me thinking nonsense at that time. I am so touched by the last paragraph. Thank you so much for knocking some sense into all of us wives π
vivy…agree “we all need reminders every now and then from each other”.thanks!!
I agree with you Vivy:) This post is by no means an attempt to air your dirty laundry in the public but rather a good reminder to be grateful with what we have.
I love it that you write about a myriad of topics rather than sticking to only fashion even though that is what you do best!
Assalamualaikum V..
I definitely love this kind of post. U are just sharing what a normal marriage life would be without touching any sensitive issues or intimate issues that only u and Dean should know.
I think this is fine enough. As some people (like me) would really want to be always reminded on what should or what should not…especially when it really related to what has Allah and Rasulullah taught us.
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Keep writing n inspire us, would u?
Keep urself as who u are now… such a sweetheart and though I don’t know u personally.
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*kalau nampak u kat mana2 I shy betul nak tegur =_____=’
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xoxo
Hi Vivy…Recently I always read ur posts. How you inspire me to be happy and enjoy the moment. I am newlywed and this post really teach me something. Thank you Vivy. I will always come back to read , sometimes when there is no new post I feel myself dissapointed. π Keep on writing! I love youuuu!!!
I love baby d more than u vivy…am so sorry vivy but more stories abt him plsss..hik hik
Hi Vivy, salam. Please keep on updating us about you and Dean because we have been through your journey since your university days with him, I kinda miss reading your zaman percintaan (haha) and we still eager to know.
Keep on being the amazing you, salam.
Hi Vivy dear! I could really relate to your situation =) I’ve been having sleepless nights for almost a year now. I have to admit that watching my husband sleeps so soundly while I’m attending the crying baby sometimes makes me feel that it’s unfair & even worst, the feeling as if my husband doesn’t help enough.
But when I came to think about it, in raising the kids/family, both of us have our own responsibilities & sacrifices. Allah gives us, the ladies, such a huge responsibility with the kids because we have the inner strength and patience to do it.
So now, whenever I’m feeling like an outburst is coming, I talk about it to my husband or if he’s asleep (so envy!) I secretly compare myself with those single mothers out there who have to take care of their kids on their own, day and night, everyday. It definitely make me feel very grateful for having my husband by my side.
Hi Vy. Been stalking your blog since morning coz I got nothing to do at the office. So….Hellooo Vivyyyy. *waving my hand and raising eyebrows* ok that’s it. Good day!