the milk factory

March 12, 2014


I get asked to share my breastfeeding journey. (You have no idea how weird it was to type that. Bahaha.) I thought that was quite a personal thing and it’s an area that freaks people out… I mean, pre-baby, I leave the room whenever people talk about breastfeeding. But seeing that moms love to share (am new to the club so I don’t really know how it works…), I’ll just kind of touch base on that very very lightly.

So I’m still breastfeeding Daniel at 8 months now, but not exclusively anymore.

I went back to work when Daniel was 1+ month old and I would pump twice a day in the office. Since my work requires me to be out of office a lot, I had to even pump in a public toilet once (it was clean, don’t worry)! I made sure no one was there and looked so suspicious looking around that if there were CCTVs outside the toilet, I’m pretty sure they’d think I was up to no good. I sat down and started pumping, and whenever I heard footsteps outside my cubicle, I flushed so that they wouldn’t hear the pump go bzzzz-bzzzzz. Felt like I was on a secret mission. Can you imagine if someone kicked the cubicle door open? Now that would be funny. Awkward… but funny.

I sent a picture of the milk bottle to Dean with a message, “You see what your son made me do in the middle of the meeting?!!”

It increasingly got harder to be able to pump twice a day and because I pumped less, my milk supply was decreasing. At one point, I was so stressed Daniel had no milk left to drink so I had no choice but to give him formula. It broke my heart when he drank formula for the first time, but I got over it pretty fast. Haha. Daniel started formula at 4 months if I can recall, but everytime I’m around, I will make sure I breastfeed.

Then, we started solids at 5 months. #impatientparents

Today, as usual after I come home from work, I would breastfeed him. I love that he now likes to put out his hand in the air for me to kiss it.. or sometimes I would rub my nose playfully with his hand and he would giggle while drinking. It’s such a nice bonding time that I look forward to breastfeeding these days. But today… today.. was a sad day.

He was drinking normally… I was cuddling him and telling him about my day while his hand pats my face playfully. He would just stare at me while I talk and I loved the Mommy time. Then, like a big boy, he decided “Ok I’m done.”. He pulled himself up, got up from my lap and started crawling to one of his toys, leaving me exposed and mouth-open in shock.

“Well!! Excuse me young man, how about a Thank you for feeding me, Mommy?!” I said out loud to the back of his head. He was now busy smacking his talking minion toy thingy, couldn’t care less about me.