flip those pages first
May 20, 2014Β In movies, I see perfect mothers with perfect hair and makeup read to their children to sleep. So I’m trying to do the same, except I’m in a big T-shirt and my post-headscarf hair is as flat as a wall. And what lie is it that the baby just magically falls asleep after “And they lived happily ever after”. Whenever I read to Daniel, I can’t even finish the sentence “Once upon a time” without him ripping the book off my hands and biting it and laughing. He loves to also turn the pages and it freaks me out because I keep worrying about paper cut.
Anyway, I’m in the phase where I get excited to buy him books so I just grab whichever that looks interesting and bring it to the counter.
Until I saw this. Nani shared this picture in our FV team groupchat and it just made everyone sick in the stomach. Basically, her friend bought this book without checking the inside, and this is what was inside.
Astarghfirullah, I really feel so sick when I saw this and I immediately thought I should warn other moms to always check the inside of the books you buy for your kids.
UPDATE: My blog readers have pointed out to me that this book is actually meant to teach sexual harassment and so having this one page made me misconstrue its intention. Apologies for the outburst, I have deleted my comment on it (title of post also edited) but I decided to keep this post so that more new moms like me can also know on the existence of such books. Although I do admit, I am a bit freaked out to read these kinds of books to Daniel. Do I really need to show him those visuals? *cringe* In this day and age, with all sorts of weird things happening out there, oh God, please guide all of us to be good parents to our little ones.
Did she share the pages for the rest of the book?
Because I’ve seen the rest on some blog so I’ll tell you more of the context because with a BIT of context, this book becomes a tiny bit less outrageous.
The rest of the pages showed how the boy talked about it his school counsellor and the counsellor had to call up the parents and inform them what the uncle did. The boy then found out what the uncle did was WRONG and he shouldn’t have taken advantage of him like that.
It’s a very controversial book even though it was supposedly written to ‘educate’ kids on sexual harassment and how it’s not their fault when it happens and they should tell someone about it. So by all means this book was not written to encourage such sick relationships.
I don’t understand why someone would write such a book though. Kids don’t even know what sex is let alone sexual harassment. It’s up to parents + teachers to educate them on this at the age they think is appropriate.
Oh in your case, I guess I see that they’re trying to show that sexual harassment is wrong and I guess I agree kids should be taught that these things e.g. uncle touching them is wrong. But still, omg I feel disgusted just looking at it I wouldn’t want Daniel to even know about these things… gahh being a parent is not easy! There’s no manual!
Hi Vivy,
I can understand why the idea of publishing such a book may be perceived as controversial or disgusting for some. I was sexually molested by my uncle when I was 5. The same line was uttered to me, “It’s our little secret”. He also said that if I told my parents, they would get angry at ME. By the time I was old enough to understand what was really happening to me, I felt ashamed of myself and could not tell anyone. It took me decades to open up about my past, telling my best friends & parents about it. So yes, the world is full of sick people, those sexual predators. Aside from sex education and not making it an embarassing or a taboo subject, I think I will be keeping a very close eye on all adults getting too close to my children. In my opinion, I’d rather be overprotective & paranoid than to have my children go through what I did.
This is a book explaining sexual harassment to children. Children in the west are taught to read at a really early age as reading is part of the culture hence the book. As for age appropriate, well children are abused as young as few months old, by exposing/educating them to what is not appropriate behaviour, the earlier the better. I’ve read books (meant for children) about dealing with suicides in family. I think it’s an issue that we need to be open with in order to better deal with
Based on RIri’s explanation of the book, I think this is a good effort on part of the publisher and author. A bit unorthodox but needed nonetheless. I am not a parent so I wouldn’t know when is the best time to teach children about sexual harassment, but I know many of my mummy friends who cringe when their children ask questions related to sex, which when they try to explain they try to include an explanation on sexual harassment too. They try their very best to explain but fumble here and there leaving both mummy and child confused. I think this book can serve as a guideline or support for parents because not everyone is comfortable or confident enough to discuss this topic with their children. And of course, with so many pedophiles around us of whom we can never identify because they look just like one of us, we need to empower our children with knowledge of what is right and wrong.
Maybe you should’ve done some research into the book before flipping tables. The book was written to explain what sexual harassment is to children. An extremely important topic because children are often manipulated by people they know into “playing games” with their relatives. I think it’s a good book/tool to have when the time for the conversation comes.
@Riri I think it’s really naive to think that children don’t know what sexual harassment is. Many, many, many kids are sexually abused daily and have to live with the shame and guilt into their adulthood. Some even commit suicide from the pain of abuse. Kids definitely need to be taught about appropriate and inappropriate adult-child relationships. Naturally, it’s up to the parents to decide when to have that talk but they definitely shouldn’t be sheltered.
Hi Vivy!
I really agree with Jane on her thoughts about sexual harassment being a very important subject to teach your kids. And I also agree with Sera too (sending lots of love and positivity to you dear) that I would rather be overprotective than be ignorant when the reality is that children are exposed to these threats every day.
My mother taught me about sex and harassment at an early age. Perhaps the visuals in this book is too vivid but the one she bought for me was just perfect. It taught me how to say NO to anyone who made me feel uncomfortable, even if it was an uncle who just wanted to give me a hug and to do so in the most assertive yet respectful way possible. I think every parent has to teach their children at some point, the earlier the better and if you don’t want to use books, perhaps take the time to explain it to the child in the best way they can understand.
Don’t worry Vivy, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of things as you go along. All the best to you!
My really good friend was sexually molested at the age of 7 by her Uncle who also said the same thing. At the time (late 80s) there was no such thing as sex education, let alone talking about the repercussions of sexual abuse. As someone pointed out, sex abuse can happen at any age, to anyone, so the fact that there is a publisher out there ready and willing to provide visuals for kids (studies have proven people learn better by illustration) on how to better equip themselves against this, is a huge step ahead. It may make people uncomfortable, but that’s the only way to move forward so that victims themselves are not ashamed of what happened to them – because, it is not their fault. Dialogue and understanding is the only way to ever progress so I’m glad you shared this post.
The content doesn’t justify the means. You dont have to teach sex 101 to children in order to give sex education or promoting safe sex. Same applies to same sex or opposite sex harassment issues.
Islamis scholars have taught us how to introduce sex edu to our children and this isn’t one of them.
Dont be sorry Vivy. Your first instinct is your fitrah instinct. It is wrong and Allah has equipped us with the availability to identify rights from wrongs
wow thankyou for sharing this nonetheless. we often overlook things and eventhough this book isn’t one of them but who knows what kind of book they have out there.
To V and all muslim readers, lebih tepat dan mudah jika kita terangkan dari sudut serta pandangan yang paling basic iaitu adab dan aurat dalam Islam. secara langsung ia akan menyedarkan anak2 kita batasan mata dan sentuhan dari pelbagai peringkat, dari peringkat darah daging, keluarga dan orang luar. Jadi ianya akan mendorong rasa malu dan ‘precaution’ yang bertempat. Jika jaga aurat dan adab, ada pakcik di rumah sekalipun, dia tau mana yang boleh pakcik pegang, mana yang tak boleh pakcik pandang. Jika berlaku jugak, automatik anak2 kita tau perbezaan ‘hurt’ or ‘uncomfortable’ , ‘geli’ ‘tak suka’ pelik etc…. In Shaa Allah, segalanya dengan izin Allah.
That book totally gives me the creeps. No matter what the intention is. I would never want my kids to read that, why can’t we just educate them ourselves? Anyway, living in this modern world where kids mature faster than we did back in the day, all we can do is pray sincerely and earnestly to Allah every day that he protect our children because He is the best of Protectors, and keep them (and us!) on the Right Path.
Kay this has nothing to do with the post you just posted. I just needed to write this somewhere haha. I just went trough some of your blog posts. And i find that you are such a delightful person. Just thought you should know π hehe
i feel like you vivy…i’m old school and i can’t accept this kind of book yet…and yes i agree the sexsual harresment can happen anytime but this book looks like you wanna teach kids how to read or maybe the bedtime story telling session but still the topic is beyond others. I think we should teach by telling our kids in specific conditions. Like after bath, you can tell them “that thing” cannot be touched by others only you as a mom (like i always do to my child). Or you can tell them its shameful if not wearing pampers or pants, simply tell we cannot show to others. If others touch it tell mummy faster so mummy can ask why, heheheheee…btw, good info and sharing Vivy…