happy 1st birthday, Daniel

July 7, 2014

Am feeling super emotional right now. Daniel is turning one year old in about 2 hours and exactly a year ago, I was packing up my stuff right now to go to the hospital with Dean, our moms and my sister. I was so nervous to embark into motherhood, but more nervous about having to push a whole baby out of me. I didn’t know what to expect and I just thought of God the whole time and praying to Him that everything will go well.

I still remember the moment the doctor said, Ok you’re ready to push, my whole face went pale and I felt like I was going to faint. Like this is it. In a few seconds, I was going to be a mom. (Few seconds bahahahaha I was so cute.. try almost an hour -___-“) Anyway, I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t sure if I’d make it. But as soon as he came out and I said “Ewww clean him up first please!” and they put him on my chest, all my fears went away. Ok I lie. That only happens in movies guys. I was freaking out even until I was discharged and when we got home and realised we didn’t own a single diaper in the house and I’d have to wrap your bum up in tissue, I confirmed I would be a horrible mom.

Oh, Daniel! I remember the first night in the hospital you were with us. Your dad was asleep because he was so tired not-giving-birth-but-whatever, and I was so worried to fall asleep in case both of us didn’t hear you if you cried. I kept walking to you every few minutes to check if you were breathing because you were such a quiet baby! (How times have changed, now you won’t stop yakking).

You’re no longer zero now, you’re going to be ONE. And then you’re going to be two, three and then twenty eight and bringing home some girl I won’t like and telling me you want to marry her. *wails* Clingy mom jokes aside, I pray you are always protected in safety, happiness, success and iman. I know there are so many more adventures to look forward to, and I know we’ll have challenging times with you, but we’ll get through it together. Daddy and I love you so much, and when you read this, however old you are at that moment, I hope you know that!

This will be your first ever birthday, the first ever birthday of our child. You have no idea how pressured Daddy and I feel to make it special. We were talking just now about whether we want to start a tradition, like maybe buy you something special from Hermes every year so by the time you’re 18, you’ll have 18 of it. Or bank in special birthday money to your account every year so you have a lot of savings by the time you’re 18. Or make you a scrap page every year of your birthday celebration. Or get fireworks every year.

In the end, we decided we didn’t want to spoil you. Being with the two of us is present enough for you, you’re welcome. *grins*

So you should just be thankful and enjoy your store-bought cake tomorrow with us and your grandparents.

Happy birthday, our little sunshine.