Trips to the gynae are always exciting because

(a) you’ll get to see the development of your baby

(b) and you get candy from the doctor’s room!

(YOU DON’T?!! What kind of a gynae…)

But the not so exciting part is when you have to wait a gazillion years before your turn. This period of boredom kills you slowly and you’ll have no choice but to check out other mothers. I mean, seriously guys. Pregnant women are funny to watch; some of them are slouching and snoring due to lack of sleep the night before, some of them are rubbing their tummy probably hungry, some of them are talking to their tummy (I steer clear of these ones, super awkward), some of them look very worried probably because it’s blood test day for them (I totes get it). Some behaviors are so interesting you just have to point out stuff to your other half. Who is also by the way, really really bored.

Like this one lady I saw who sat on the chair, legs crossed on the seat (like bersila style) and arms crossed up above, hands resting on the top of her head. She was all terkangkang and armpits out and everything. Like whoa lady, how’s your pregnancy going?

It was pretty awkward but hey, an unspoken rule in the gynae’s clinic is that no one judges anyone. We might talk about you, but we never judge because we all understand. One leg up on the chair? You must be having leg cramp, you poor dear. Sleeping with mouth open? You’ve never looked more beautiful, Mommy. Scolding your husband for playing game instead of rubbing your back? He should’ve done that sooner, girlfriend.

That last one was me.

I saw a husband rubbing his wife’s neck and turned to Dean unsatisfied. “You see, look at that man. He’s so sweet massaging his wife!”

Dean looked at him. “Baby, his one hand is on the phone and the other hand is just lazily scratching his wife. That’s barely a massage! He’s not even looking at her!” 

Ok fine, true. “But still… so sweet of him to try.”

“Ok fine fine, come I do to you what he’s doing,” and with his one index finger, he scratches my neck lazily which annoyed me more than anything.

“Stop it.”

“See, at least I tried,” and goes back to his game.

Ish.

I looked at the other husband. His hands are both on the phone now concentrating fully on his game. Three other husbands in the room, including my lovely one, are doing the same thing. But hope is still there because there will be one husband in the room that is attentive and constantly checking up on his wife. Dean would tell me that’s definitely their first child. Why do we bother bringing husbands along to the checkups? Pftttt.

But yeah seriously, next time you go to a gynae, look around and tell me the scene is pretty much the same.