August 22, 2014

Today was a tiring day for Mommy Vivy.

Daniel is a bit under the weather and it’s been pretty much a snotfest where I am right now. *looks at T-shirt with wet patches* And babies, when they’re sick I realise, become even bigger babies. -___-” But I get it obviously; they’re feeling annoyed and uncomfortable and it must be even worse that they can’t say it to you, so they just cry and whine and cry some more. So moms with sick babies; patience level goes ding ding ding to the highest maximum number.

I tried putting him to sleep so he can rest but he would cry everytime I left his side. He would want me there with him the entire time today and when I had to go to the toilet, he cried so much his whole face turned red I got scared. I couldn’t really go to work (I did run off for an hour though because I had some interviews I couldn’t reschedule) so I kept getting messages from my colleagues. Some were quite urgent that needed my reply asap, but everytime I held my phone, Daniel would wake up and cry. HOW DO YOU JUST KNOW?!

In the car, he would smush his face into my headscarf leaving me with patches here and there. My plain scarf is now a printed one with abstract detailing. Dark blotches are the new thing right? Anyway, he just wanted me to sing to him and tap him to sleep that when I stopped doing so, he would toss and turn and cry. I had to carry him a lot today and being pregnant, it totally took a toll on my back. And oh don’t get me started on how difficult it was to give him his medicine. Oh my goodness, seriously, I was so tired today I wanted to cry.

Then tonight, I looked at him sleep peacefully. I couldn’t help but kiss him and stroke his hair while whispering to him “Good night, my love. Get well soon, ok? I love you so much.” And I actually missed cuddling him that I considered waking him up to do so. Just 10 minutes ago, I was so frustrated with him for throwing tantrums today. And now, I have butterflies of joy just looking at him and resting my head underneath his armpit while listening to him sleep. Is it crazy that I miss him??

Motherhood is so so so weird.