for real

October 16, 2014

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It’s coming to that time of the pregnancy that I can’t hide my bump anymore and it’s getting obvious that I am actually pregnant. Not just fat *sending virtual stares at that lady who told me I put on weight lately*.

This pregnancy has been such a smooth one so far, Alhamdulillah. Sometimes I feel guilty that I forget that I’m even carrying a human being in me. With Daniel, it was all about my pregnancy and how I would be on and being fascinated with baby books. This time round, I’ve been so busy running around after Daniel and making sure he doesn’t eat that crumb on the floor. On top of that, FashionValet’s busy with our regional expansion and high level funding/VC negotiations that Dean and I hardly talk about anything else sometimes. So that London trip recently was a much needed break for the two of us, especially. When we were looking for baby stuff for Baby M (our nickname before he/she gets here), I was so overwhelmed I had to sit down for a while to process all of this happening in my life. There I was in Harrods sitting on the Baby Gucci sofa, trying to breathe while being surrounded by all these absolutely gorgeous tiny designer clothes screaming Your Baby Wants Me. I told Dean that I felt a bit lost and I just couldn’t pick anything because I wanted to cry.

We’re having a second child.

It’s for real for realllll! Not just rubbing my bump and playing with my bellybutton. There’s actually a tiny little angel in there, a gift from Allah swt, who will be arriving in about 4 months time. And I have not properly prepared ourselves mentally or physically for this, and I felt so bad like I wasn’t giving my all to Baby M that I wanted to cry. We barely have space for another child in our home that we need to move pronto, I haven’t read anything about how to give your love to two children and I really haven’t read the Quran to Baby M like how I used to with Daniel. I need to get my act together in these next 4 months. Mommy’s here for you, Baby M, and I’m going to be better!

Wearing striped cardigan from Kamelia and satin silk scarf from dUCk, at FashionValet. Pants from Uniqlo, shoes from Zara, bag from Dior.