Daniel can say a few words now but I remember one of his earliest words was Mama. And I insisted on being called Mommy. “Mommy and Daddy” sounds nicer than “Mama and Daddy”. Do you guys remember this video I posted up on Instagram?
So now Dean is Daddy. And I’m still Mimmy.
We’re still working on MAAAAA-MEEEEE but for now I’ll take whatever I can get really.
But guess what.
Daniel still says Mama.
*cries a river, no, an ocean*
I thought whenever he sees her, he says MAMAM (meaning eat in Baby Language) so I didn’t think much of it. I just assumed he wanted her to give him some biscuits or whatever. But I heard it clearly recently. Ma-ma… he called out to her, arms up wanting her to carry him.
Oh don’t worry about that red puddle on the floor. That’s just my heart dropping and exploding in a million tiny pieces.
So this is what real heartbreak feels like.
Since then, I’ve been on alert mode whenever he says Mama. I didn’t want to hurt his nanny’s feelings so I didn’t have the heart to tell her straight out what I felt (which was #%^$#$@ STAYAWAYFROMHIM,YOUUUUUARENOTHISMAMA $%@#$@$ which is really mean because I know it’s not her fault. She has never called herself as Mama to him). When he says Mama (and looks at her), I purposely say “YES, DANIEL. YOU CALLED ME?”. When he walks to the kitchen and calls out Mama, I would pick him up and stop him from going in there (whilst kissing him insecurely all over). When she walks past us, I would point to her and say “Look Daniel, Kakak. KA-KAK. KA-KAK. KA-KAK” trying so desperately to make him repeat after me.
And the part that shows how low I’ve gotten: When Daniel sleeps and I’m stroking his head, I look around to see if anyone’s around and lean forward to him. I open my mouth and whisper, “Daniel, this is your mother. It hurts my feelings when you call other people Mama. That nanny is not your Mama, ok, so stop calling her that.” He doesn’t respond. In fact, he even kicks me a bit. Sheesh. And some other times, I whisper, “Daniel… you love Mommy right?”
Remember you wrote this, Daniel? #lies
Haha. Desperate guys, I’m desperate!!
Moral of the story: Let your child call you Mama. Just take it, don’t be picky! *cries*