February 21, 2015

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First of all, please let me clarify that I don’t hate this person writing it.

I’m quite grateful that I was never the type to get upset over negative comments, even from the start of my blogging days. Cos honest to God, I always take the good from it to improve myself. And the bad and plain nasty bits, I just disregard quite easily because I know it’s not about me anymore. It’s probably because the “hater” has areas in her own life she is unhappy about so seeing others happy might be hard to see. If this ever happens to you, I’m telling you… don’t let it get to you. Because it’s about the person’s character and it’s her own battle already, not yours. I mean, look at this comment; using zikir and giving Islamic advice, in the same paragraph she uses the the F word. Any sane person would realise the anger and bitterness in this piece of advice, that instead of being annoyed at her, I actually made doa that God softens her heart to throw away hatred towards others. I mean, she writes all that and will probably continue to be angry for the rest of the night throwing imaginary darts to my pictures. While I read this comment, show my husband, shake our heads and then go to the kitchen to make dinner together as our lives still have to go on.

I wouldn’t usually blog about this but just a few days ago, this kind of hatred also happened to one of my friends. And I’m hearing so much of this women hating other women issue that I felt the need to voice out how I feel about it. I know a lot of young women read Proudduck and I just want to give you a piece of advice.

Try to be sincerely happy for others.

And not the “Oh I’m so happy for you” but inside you’re thinking “Why you and not me?” kind of fake happy. These girls are worse than the ones who tell you straight up that they hate you. Because the hypocrisy and silent hatred towards you whilst being your friend, you will never know.

Wish for people’s happiness and goodness, because when you do that, God will give you the same, if not more. If not in this life, God will reward you in the afterlife. Toots and Asma’ always tell me that if you make good doa for others, the angels will make the same doa for you. Just have faith. I know that emotion is a very difficult thing to control, but everytime you see someone getting married or getting a new house or getting an award or anything at all that you want for yourself… breathe and remind yourself that Rezeki has already been written and everyone’s lives’ ups and downs are different. Everyone has goodness and badness in their lives, it’s just whether they choose to tell you or not. So don’t let social media control your life. Enjoy social media, but don’t take it too seriously! Just chilllllll…

Remember that life is not a competition between you and that girl or anything. We all want to go to one place in the end, and all of us can go there together! There’s room for everyone there so stop the hating and let’s wish only good things for one another. The more we love each other for the sake of Allah swt, the more at peace we become and best of all, Allah swt acknowledges it! And that’s all that matters in the end.

Of course, some of you will say “Ala cakap nama Allah swt tapi pakai seluar ketat jugak.”

These kind of people will always strive to find a bad in others. They’re the kind of people who will always be bitter about your success or happiness, no matter what you do. You breathe also, they want to slap you. Hehe. The kind of people who will see you get something and find 10 reasons why you never deserved it. –> Please don’t be one of these people because (a) you get free dosa (b) that person freely gets your pahala and (c) you will never be happy or peaceful, and unfortunately it has no impact on that person’s life.

If you really feel that way, what you should do instead is to make doa for that person. That way, (a) you get pahala (b) the person might get hidayah to improve, from your sincere doa and (c) the world becomes a place of love and not hate.

Think about it.

Why do women love to hate other women?

It’s honestly a waste of time and it would be so much better to purify our hearts to be happy for each other instead. If you hate on someone because they’re rich, there are thousands of people richer than them. If you hate on someone because they’re pretty, there are thousands of people prettier than them. Are you supposed to hate all those people too? Won’t that be too tiring?

And for anyone else in my position receiving the negativity, always always be patient, keep your cool and forgive with a sincere heart. But never think you’re always right so open your heart to listen and improve yourself. God will reward you abundantly, Insyaallah. And that’s a million times more awesome than anything you can get in this world.