watching football with dean

March 22, 2015

Pantang makes you really bored.

Like today, I must’ve been at the peak of the boredness mountain because I watched football with Dean. I was so happy to see Dean come home after a function he attended, and all I wanted to do was be with him. “Liverpool vs Manchester tonight baby,” he said to me. His nice way of saying “Please don’t disturb me for 90 minutes.”

“Oh it’s ok. I want to watch it with you!”

I’m pretty sure he didn’t even notice me there. I could be rolling on the carpet and doing snow angels with my arms and legs to get his attention, and he would still find the 30 or so men more attractive.

Anyway, I learned tonight that Dean is not a chatter when football is on. He concentrates… like really concentrates. Like he has that eyes-squinting face that teachers wish their students’ faces have when they teach the characters of sodium carbonate or bicarbonate or tricarbonate or something. (I used to be smart guys, I swear. Just a little rusty now after losing a lot of blood giving birth and all…)

I was trying to lighten the mood to make it more fun (for me) and started saying things that I thought were interesting. They were all football-related by the way.

“Oh my god… his last name is Blind. Like BLIND???” I was so amused at the footballer’s last name.

No response.

“Ooohhh Wayne Rooney! You know he used to be fat right?” I nudged Dean.

No response.

“And his wife is always in the tabloids. Apparently she shops a lot. Like if you think I shop a lot… this wife… like wow, man. She shops A LOT.”

No response.

“His last name is MATA?!!!!!! Oh my god… he should be friends with the first footballer, BLIND.”

No response.

Then we carried on watching another football game after and this guy’s jersey had “HAZARD” written on it. This is just too easy! 5 jokes came to mind and I was just so amazed with all these footballers’ last names! I looked at Dean and he had a straight face. How did he not find their names amusing?


Football is serious stuff and makes Dean the most boring person on earth.

I’ll gladly go back to pantang, thanks.