focusing on mariam

April 10, 2015

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have pressed “Add New Post” on my blog. Just when I’m about to type, Daniel will come running tugging on my blouse for something. Then, after I have sorted him out (more like pass him to Dean haha), I sit back down in front of my laptop. I can’t even type out HI GUYS before Mariam starts crying to be picked up. After I’ve sorted her out, it’s just time to leave for work or I’m just too sleepy to even lift my fingers to type.

Life with two kids… fuh.

And that’s with help.

Without help, I think I will just have to shut down my blog.

To be honest, I feel really bad for Mariam. When Daniel was her age, our whole world revolved around just staring adoringly at him for hours.  Dean and I would love to do that now, but it’s impossible because we have another toddler to keep an eye on. Daniel’s at the super active age so Dean and I always have to layan him or run after him or stop him from spilling Vitagen all over the carpet. A lot of our time is spent focusing on Daniel. Mariam, being the angel that she is, is more chilled and will just lie down quietly only crying for milk or if we have ignored her way too long. I keep telling Dean that I just want to block one day off my calendar every week just to spend time with her alone. Mommy-daughter bonding time. But something always comes up that I can’t avoid!

Tonight, Dean and Daniel are playing somewhere. And I’m here watching Mariam sleep. Gosh, she’s beautiful. I can’t stop smiling looking at how perfect she is. Her soft skin, her long lashes, her full lips, her cute double chin…. Everything about her, I’m just in love with. And it’s making me realize that I need to focus on her a bit more too. I love you, baby, I whispered in her ear just now. I hope she knows that I really really do.

Outside, a team of people are working on her little mini pelamin. Her cukur jambul ceremony is tomorrow and that’s a special day for my little princess. Everything outside is pink and white, and so so beautiful. Sometimes, I think Ya Allah, what have I done to deserve all this in my life. A beautiful daughter, a beautiful event, presents being showered for her…. It’s just so easy to take for granted that all this is because of Him. Thank You Allah swt for all that You have given to me and my family, and most of all thank You for our latest addition, Mariam Iman Shah. I vow to raise her the best way Dean and I can, and not take this amanah for granted. Oh Mariam, I pray for the best life can offer you, and I hope you will grow up to do justice to the beautiful meaning in the name Daddy and I chose for you.

Tomorrow’s your day, my baby girl.