Everyone says you need a balance in your life; balance between work, family, love life, friends and you time. But really, 24 hours a day is just not enough to fit all of that. That’s why in interviews when I’m asked if women can have it all, I say no. There’s no need to sugarcoat it, we don’t live in la la land. As wives we need to make sure our husband’s life is sorted, as working women we need to make sure deadlines are met and tasks are completed, as friends we need to make sure we are up to date with our friends’ lives, and the biggest role of all; as moms we need to be the ultimate go-to person for all of our children’s needs. When do we even have time to shower?
For me, I’m really lucky that my work and family lives are intertwined. I have a business with my husband and so, all the boxes are checked there. I’m with my family all the time. But of course, this is always risky and it’s not something I recommend for all couples because if you’re not on the same page, not only will you lose a business but you will also lose your life companion too. Alhamdulillah, Dean and I seem to complement each other in every aspect of our lives, and I pray it will stay this way forever.
I always wonder and sometimes I ask Dean, “Can you imagine if we work in different fields? We’re both workaholics who love our jobs like mad, and we are always thinking about FashionValet. If one of us weren’t in it, how would we understand what the other is going through?”
I’d be constantly on my phone with the different department group chats, and Dean would be constantly on excel sheets analyzing finance and whatnot… It’s ok for us because we understand how important it is to finish up those tasks. Not only is fashion a fast-paced business, but combine that up with e-commerce, an industry that can change and flip in minutes! If neither of us are in it, we wouldn’t understand why we are glued to our gadgets. After the kids go to bed at night, we patiently wait for the other to finish up, and even give suggestions and ideas in between… then we stay up on the couch together and share ice cream straight from the tub. And we are both totally happy with this arrangement because that is how it has always been even from the start of our marriage. That’s the only arrangement we know!
Healthy or not, that is the reality. We are so passionate about our jobs and we take it as our responsibility to make sure FV grows and grows to make it profitable and to work towards being able to give bonuses to our employees to better everyone’s lives. It’s crazy sometimes that at dinner, we are actually just discussing work issues and working out best strategies. We never get a break from work, and weirdly, we don’t actually mind because we love it.
Anyway, I’m just curious because I have never experienced the other side. In families that the husband and wife don’t work together (majority of people!), how do you guys support each other’s work? Is work talk off-limits at home?