the selfie era

August 14, 2015 • 10 comments • 2733 views

I’m typing as I have my lunch alone in a dimsum place. As I sit here, there are a lot of people around me taking selfies of themselves either alone or with their girlfriends. And seriously…. The first thought I’m having is

HOLY COW DO I LOOK THAT RIDICULOUS WHEN I DO IT TOO?!

The answer is yes.

There really is no cool way to do selfies because this is the usual process:

1)   Hold your arm up and point the phone camera to you.

2)   Fix your hair/scarf, then you notice a little eyegoo and take it out. Ok you look good now.

3)   Pout. Ummm too much… maybe this angle. You tilt your head while still holding that pout. Ummm maybe the other side is nicer… tilt the other side. Ok much better. You realize your friend is still at step (2). “Eh hurry up la,” you say while pouting.

4)   She pouts but needs to do step (3). This is when you realize your arm is starting to hurt and you are still pouting for no good reason. And people on the other table are starting to whisper. “Cepat ah wei, people are looking…” you say as softly as you can. At this time, you’re reflecting  the worthiness of taking a selfie. But you have to do it anyway because you can’t show those tables that you’re affected. Gotta have some self pride, arm out and pouting all.

5)   After what seemed like a year, CLICK.

6)   “Eyerrr not niceeeee! Take again.” Cannot. Back. Down. Must. Show. Self. Pride. Never making eye contact with that table again.

7)   Someone from that table laughs. “They’re just jealous,” is the only comfort you can think of.

At the fashion week, people take selfies allllll the time. And I think it’s fine if it’s with your seating buddies and you don’t want to bother a stranger to take it. But I actually saw a lady taking multiple selfies of just herself. Like multiple guys… She repeated step (3) a few times and she was sitting front row! She even changed her sitting position in case it’s the way she was sitting that was making the picture look bad. Fuhhhh you’ve got to have guts to do that.

But no, none of us look good taking selfies. So I’m going to stop for a while.

Umm, but after this.

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