housewife for the week

September 2, 2015 • 20 comments • 5463 views

The 4 words you never want your maid/nanny to say.

“Saya mau balik cuti.”

CRIES BLOOD. NOOOOOOOOO!

“Oh, bisa, bisa….” you will have to say when they tell you a family member is sick. I mean, what kind of human would you be if you didn’t allow them to go back for a while. This maid is I feel a bit more trustworthy than my previous one (remember the one who I lent my suitcase to?), but we shall see if she comes back in a week’s time.

So I’ve been taking care of the kids full-time, working from home. (There is no such thing btw, for mothers. “Working from home” is a lie we all tell our bosses.) I am not very used to staying home the whole day, but that’s what I did on Monday! I was admittedly a little bored (conversations about giraffes and elephants all day guys…), but having said that, I never had a free moment; there was always something to do, some drool to wipe, some food to make, some toys to keep. And seriously, I spent so much time with the kids that now they are so clingy to me. I walk in the room and they run/crawl to me. I feel so needed I love it! I mean, Kakak got competition when she comes back, mannnn.

Dean came back at midnight last night after a meeting and found me on the bed, clutching my phone in case he called. Not kidding, arms and legs were spread open, I was face down. When he came in, the only word that came out of me was “Massaaageeeeee.”

And so my loving and understanding husband, did just that.

“How was your day, baby?” he asked innocently.

I was soooooo tired I could only mumble, “Housewives… deserve….. all….. good…. things….”

What I meant was “Do you freaking know how much stuff a housewife without a maid has to do? She ain’t no tai-tai, she is legit busy busier than any working woman. It is never about her, always about someone else or an area in the house she has to scrub, like seriously why do we need so many walls in the house. And how many times do you all need to change clothes in a day, isn’t one outfit good enough to last you through the day, why are people so selfish? Also you can’t tell me you want to eat 10 minutes before you want to eat, do you know what defrosting is, it takes at least a couple of hours. Is that my baby crying, I just put her to sleep like 10 seconds ago, that is some kind of a power nap. Oh great, now my first child wants me to feed his toy giraffe, like I don’t have loads of laundry to do. Haven’t showered, haven’t eaten, haven’t seen the outside world, don’t know where my phone is, couldn’t get any office work done, and you ask me, “How was your day, baby?” How can you be so rude?”

Fuhhhh, housewives, you guys are the real deal.

Pat yourself on the back.

And then please tell me, what number do you call to sort all this out?

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