leaving the kids
November 14, 2015I’m going into my third year carrying the very important title “Mommy” and I have never been away from them for more than 2 nights. I’ve scaled back a lot on traveling, leaving that to Dean and the senior management at FV. If I do have to travel, I either make it a day trip, or at most a couple nights where I crammed 15 meetings in. It was super tiring, but all in the aim to be as productive as possible and come back asap. I think any parent can relate to this; the pain of leaving them for a long time.
This is how it usually goes:
Parent: HOW LA HOW LA!! How are they going to sleep without me? Will they be staring at my photos with tears in their eyes? I’m the worst parent ever. Will they be safe? Will they be confused? Would this trip scar them forever and they will think their parents don’t love them? Will this be the start of them being screwed up kids who rebel and have tattoos that spell out Pain or I Hate My Mother all over them? Should I cancel my trip? I should really cancel my trip, right?
Our kids: I misss Mommyyyyy!!!! I want Mommy!!!! Ooooo, is that a toy? Oooooh toyyyyyyy. Toy toy toy toy toy toy.
I mean, seriously.
I can’t tell you enough how true this is, based on my recent US trip with Dean. We had to go for work, and having traveled 25 hours there, it would be silly not to extend a few more days to enjoy ourselves as well. But I was a mess leading up to my departure date. I was crying every single day, stroking their hair when they slept, watching them sleep in the dark with tissues up my nose, checking the airline website how much it would cost to change to an earlier return flight, crying some more. A total freak! And even when I was there, we’d check in everyday, wanting to know their every move. Them? Daniel asked for us a few times but more like “Hey, where’d Mom and Dad go? Swear I thought I saw those two peeps walk past just now. Oh well.” To think I wasted tears on this one. And Mariam? Well, it’s hard to tell. Her days are just “…………oohh I have fingers……ooohhh I have toes…….”. She’s busy.
But I gotta tell you, that trip was amazing for Dean and I, minus the parent guilt. We were Husband and Wife, instead of predominantly Daddy and Mommy, and it gave us the time together that we really missed. We had undisturbed sleep, guys!! Like full-on night sleep without waking up to make milk. It was AH-MA-ZING.
I know I’d be really unpopular for saying this (even my parents are very traditional and never think parents should leave their kids), but I recommend love trips just you and hubs every once in a while. Maybe not for such a long period like ours, but at least a weekend away every now and then to rekindle the romance.
Just don’t come back with another child on the way. That would be very funny and ironic. Haha.
Hello Vivy.. It is so sweet for you with your husband to be together and seeing you with your cutepie children. What an amazing mom and wife you are. Pray you all the best in life and till Jannah. Aamin
Dear Vivy..i always tell my kids (i have 4)..i met your papa first..then only you guys. I love my children more then myself..but i am always a wife..always!
May Allah always protect your family 24/7. I really look up for both of you and one of my wishlist is to meet you one fine day. Congratulations for being one of the 60 Wanita Inspirasi NONA. Have a nice weekend.
Share the same sentiments with you on the last paragraph vy. Haha. Good post. Felt like this is a response to all those hate comments on your Instagram blaming you for leaving your kids. Hehe.
any parents will be missing their kids terribly when leaving em.. even for a short period! some ppl out there just don’t understand much and start to ‘measure’ our love to the kids by stating unnecessary comments about it. i went for a two-hour movie date night with my husband and received comment on my toddler whereabout. i mean hey, it is called a date and it’s only for two hours (my daughter was with her atuk, nenek, uncles and enjoying her moment with them :D) and we rushed back home right after the movie ended.. didn’t go anywhere else! so yeah, once a while we may need some time for a date and spending time with each other but that doesn’t mean we ever forget about our kids at all. 🙂
my mom can be very traditional at times but she’s the one who always reminded me to slot it some husband-wife time in our daily life. she’ll be the one who goes “eh there’s this latest movie such and such, pergi la tengok dengan husband. i’ll look after your kids”.. 🙂
I left my kids for a meeting in Kl (staying in Penang) pun dah rasa bersalah sangat. Go for holiday without my kids…no….
Totally agree with you vivy. Spent a year in London with just me, husband and our toddler son. It was very hard juggling our son between us! So when we came back to Malaysia we took a weekend off to Melaka and it did wonders for our relationship 🙂 biar la org nk cakap apa, taking care of your relationship with the father of your children is for the benefit of the children too.
I never had the luxury to leave my kids.. Even when both my husband and I admitted to hospital on the same time due to dengue we get the kids to sleep with us at night ( day time they went to nursery)
So I am kinda jealous who have parents staying nearby / maid..
That last sentence! Are you sure Vivy? No baby 2016? Another Birkin story? Hahaha. 😛
I’m more excited with the last sentence! ahahaha
whilst mariam busy with her fingers and toes, the next thing she realized, oooohhhh hi there lil sister / brotha!!
just kidding, just kidding… ihiks
And I’m the aunt who usually cries when my elder siblings left their kids at my house! Kidding!
I usually become a stepmother once the parents left. hahaha!
I love them to bits and I echo your sentiment, Vivy. A date once in a while will do good for the husband and wife. My mom (a.k.a the grandmother) will always volunteer to look after the grandchildren but it always ended with me (the aunt) having to look after them instead.
The kids will always ask where did mommy and daddy go and why they were left with the grands and an aunt and uncle. I usually just pacify them by telling them the truth – that mommy and daddy needs a time-out.
And if they prove to be difficult, I will tell them mommy and daddy gonna bring back another baby if they don’t listen to me :p
*such fun having nieces and nephews muehehe*
ohoho last sentence, happened to me lol! holiday in san francisco too! watch out V!
i’ve read somewhere, we are husband and wife first, then only as parents..
So jealous you got to meet DVF! Glad both you and fadza had an awesome trip!
Honestly, the trip that you both had has been my dream trip all this while!!
Travel to US with husband while taking a short break from mommy and daddy duties 😉
–> Visiting Google office!! OMG! Okay enough, you are so lucky to be able to experience that 😉
Bless you Vivy!! You rock & I love your blogs so much!