my mini me

December 3, 2015

Mariam is generally a pretty quiet baby. I don’t know if it’s because Daniel is so talkative with us that before she can say Ma–, he’s said Hey Mommy, can I have some juice please. Or she’s just really cool and calm like that. She’s nine months now, so we shall see how this changes.

She’s been sick for a few days now that even a few rounds of Voltaren did not seem to cure it, so Dean and I got really worried. I took her to the clinic today and the doctor was worried if it was dengue. He decided to take a blood test just in case and man… watching your child get the IV needle thing inside her… is really really heartbreaking. She was wrapped up so she couldn’t move and tears were just falling down to the sides of her head. And I was bawling a river inside. Through her tears, she looked at me hopeful and obviously wanted me to help her. I understand now when moms say they’d rather be in pain than their children.

After she was done and survived the bloodtest, she looked at me so pissed off at me that ok I admit I wanted to laugh. She went all lembik and just smushed her cheek on my shoulder looking so so annoyed at the world. Dean finally arrived from work, looking all worried. He looked at her, albeit lovingly, and said, “Aiyo she looks like the world has ended.”

You’re just like Mommy, you drama queen, I sent a telepathic message to Mariam. I can never say this out loud because I’d never hear the end of it from Dean.

So we waited for an hour for the results and Mariam still looked like the world is against her and she can’t bear it anymore. She even whined extra long just to make her point. It was pretty funny after a while, and I even caught her smiling cheekily when we teased her about it. It was as if she understood.


Results came back and it was negative for dengue. Alhamdulillah!! Dean and I were so relieved and we asked the doctor, “So what does she have?”

The doctor nonchalantly replied, “Oh she has a sore throat.”


That my-life-is-over face is a result of a sore throat???

Dean laughed and kissed Mariam on the forehead snuggling her up to him, “Gosh Mariam, you’re just like Mommy. Got sore throat like it’s the end of the world.” Ughhhhh, and there it is. We recalled that time recently when I had a bump and thought I had cancer. Hey, you need to cover all possibilities, ok?!

Anyway, the good that came out of this was also the fact that Mariam had us all to herself. We took turns carrying her and she was soooo manja with us that we felt bad that Daniel takes up all the attention when he’s around with his ten thousand questions. I felt closer to Mariam and thought what I should have done differently if I could redo the nine months with her.

  • Take more photos of her – I have a whole bunch, don’t get me wrong, but I have to admit Daniel had more.
  • Make a scrapbook of her monthly progress
  • Breastfeed her for a longer period – I wish I wasn’t hurting so much when I was breastfeeding her and that I could have carried on for longer. It really brings a mom and child closer together, not just physically but emotionally too, I feel. Ugh and it’s just so much more convenient.
  • Blog about her more – Life has gotten more intense now, but I need to start finding more time to document her baby milestones.
  • Just be with her more – not with others around, but just mommy and her. Just us girls.

It’s good to ponder back, but no time to dwell! I’m going to give my all to her now, and her 1st birthday party is going to be awesome. Is it too early to start planning for February? Hehe.