naming and shaming

March 20, 2016

Ever had that time in your life when you were so angry at one person that you were tempted to tell the world about it on your insta/blog? Well, don’t do it.

I don’t tell you a lot of the negative things that happen in my life, but one of it; last year, I was betrayed big time by someone close to me. I never saw it coming and when I found out, I was shaking because I couldn’t believe it! I never spoke to this person after finding out because there was no point, and I just sent my lawyers to take legal action. It hurt me to do this but I had no choice. Everything is settled now but that’s not the point of my story.

I told my loved ones, naturally, but never did it cross my mind to public shame him/her. I could so easily expose what he/she did but I don’t know why I never wanted to. I had so much work to do that I basically just moved on from this, and didn’t dwell on it. I also never felt hate towards him/her which is so weird. I forgave of course, I always do. But the only difference was that I didn’t want to be friends anymore and I didn’t see the point of communicating as normal any longer.

But you can sense genuine sincerity in how the guilty person acts. There are a lot of people who wronged me and some say sorry, some don’t. It’s fine because we should never expect those things from people. Whether or not people are sorry doesn’t change your life. But this person in particular was relentless. He/she would message me once in a while, give me updates, wish me on my birthday, congratulate me when I gave birth, he/she never forgot a big event in my life. My replies were brief, just a Thank you usually. But that never deterred him/her from trying. One day, I received a long message from this person, a heartfelt one saying he/she never moved on from the mistake and hates himself/herself for it and needed my forgiveness. That message melted me to the ground because even after a year plus of me being cold, this person showed remorse. Genuine remorse. A lot of people, including me, make mistakes and we say sorry once or twice, if the person ignores us, our egos are usually quite big and we will go ok fine la. But this person, I admired. I told him/her that I have always forgiven even from Day 1 and I could never hate him/her. Recently I saw this person, and tears formed in his/her eyes the minute he/she saw me. We made peace and talked and laughed like old times, leaving all bad memories behind. That sparked my interest in writing this blog post.

The point of my story is that in life, sometimes you are given the upper hand and you could potentially expose someone’s mistake.. never take that route. No matter how angry you are, control it and always just talk to your loved ones instead of lashing out on Facebook/Instagram. I feel so sad when I see people venting on their social media, complaining about this and that, even naming and shaming specific individuals, because goshhh they’re human beings too. It may seem like a good idea at the time because you’re so angry, but hey, take a deep breath and think how you could ruin this person’s life. Everyone makes mistakes, and never think that we are morally above them. The fact that we expose and shame people just shows we aren’t. We never know if we are in their shoes, we might do the same or even worse. If people wrong you, forgive even when there’s no apology. Soften your heart to always forgive your fellow beings, because God will reward you abundantly in ways you can’t even imagine.

Just a random thought I had and thought I’d share.