outside daniel’s room

March 27, 2016

Daniel’s really the cheeky little fella who makes all of us smile in the family. For a 2-and-a-half-year old, he speaks really well so he can converse with you and when you say something that doesn’t make sense to him, he’ll go “Huh?” and thinks about it like an adult. Every morning, I’ll find him next to me and before we get ready for work/school, we’ll always have a little cuddle and tickle. His smile just lights up everything and is the best start to my day.

But he’s also at that cheeky stage where he gets a little naughty. Now, he has this habit of ignoring you when you call him. He obviously can hear you, but if he doesn’t feel like answering you, he’ll just hum and block you out. Which is super annoying. And he also finds it really hard to say sorry. If he does something wrong, he refuses to say sorry. It’s bad enough that that happens at home, but he also does it to other people which gets worrying because it’s really rude.

Tonight it happened and he ignored Dean when Dean called him repeatedly in the car. Dean asked, “Can you hear Daddy?” and Daniel just ignored him continuing whatever he was doing. When we got home, Dean told all of us to go to sleep since it was late. We all walked into the master bedroom like we normally would but when Daniel came in, Dean told Daniel to sleep in his own room. Since Daniel was naughty tonight, he doesn’t get to sleep with us. Dean talked to Daniel nicely and explained this and Daniel stood against the wall with hands by his side. He looked at Dean with his big sad eyes and said, “But I want sleep here, Daddy.” Dean shook his head and said, “You cannot sleep here tonight because you ignored Daddy just now and didn’t say sorry to Mommy.” (Oh forgot to mention, Daniel hit me jokingly and we’re trying to teach him hitting is bad).

Daniel looked at me and came to me, “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m sorry.” I hugged him, my heart broken looking at him so sad with tears in his eyes. He hugged me back and kissed my cheek.

“Ok, come Daniel. Daddy will take you to your room,” Dean said, all calm but firm. I know it’s killing him inside too but he has to be a father.

“Please Daddy I want sleep here,” Daniel’s voice all shaken and in tears.

“No, I want to teach you a lesson. You will remember this; if you don’t listen to Daddy and Mommy, you don’t get to be with us. Come, I’ll take you to your room now.”

“No, please… I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“I know, Daniel. But I still have to teach you this lesson.”

Daniel looked at me and I looked away because I could feel my tears forming. Oh gosh my heart aches. I get what Dean was trying to do and we have to discipline our children or else they will become spoiled brats who get away with everything, but mannnnn it breaks your heart!!

He walked with his dad to his room, head down obviously learned his lesson. And didn’t say a word but I could tell he was scared. I followed them and when Dean closed the door, he told me not to come in. Dang it. He knew too well I would hug and kiss Daniel and tell him Mommy loves him bla bla.

So I’m now sitting outside writing this, tears in my eyes. I feel like my heart is broken into pieces when I remember how Daniel looked at me just now, wanting me to help but I didn’t. I’m literally on the floor outside of his door, listening to Dean calmly telling Daniel why he’s doing this, that it was not nice to ignore people and not say sorry when you do something wrong. I appreciated Dean actually telling Daniel why he’s being punished instead of leaving Daniel clueless and feeling confused. Hopefully Daniel will learn from this. But let’s be real, this is going to be the first of many punishments. Boys will be boys and I know I’ll be facing a lot more of this, especially when he’s older.

But for now, I just want to hug and kiss him and tell him Mommy loves him. I feel like taking my pillow and sleeping on the floor in his room just to be there with him (I probably will end up doing that tonight). By the way, when I got out of the shower later that night, I caught Dean looking at a photo of him carrying a laughing Daniel. #nakactmachokonon


Being a parent is hard.


Mommy’s little boy.