My view right now.

It’s Raya eve and this year we are sleeping over my parents’ house and it’s so fun with my sister’s family here too. The house is chaotic and I can see happiness in my parents’ faces having the complete family here with them. Because we are a small family, one person’s absence is really felt so I’m so happy that everyone’s here today.

My kids are fast asleep and have no clue what’s going on, but just look at them sleeping peacefully. These were the same pillowcases I slept on as a child and now my kids are sleeping on them. It’s crazyyyy! I’m in my room now and everything is still the same. Photo frames of me as a child, pink cupboards, pink laundry basket, pink wallpaper (torn at certain places), pink teddybears… I’m so glad my parents kept my room as it was. Dean? He’s terrified of this room. This room screams Little Teenage-Hormones Vivy.

Anyway, how was your Ramadan?

I had a lot of highs but also a lot of lows. Those targets I set in my previous blogpost… didn’t achieve them. Which I’m so disappointed about. It was really difficult to because I’d have full days till late nights at the warehouse, I couldn’t terawih and I was too tired to read the Quran sometimes. When we come home, it’s basically attending to the kids and then I’d cook for sahur on some nights. By the time I look at the clock, it’s past midnight and I told myself I should sleep. Kids will cry one by one in the middle of the night, then before I know it, it’s time to wake up for sahur. Sleeping in the mosque? Howwwww, when you have small babies and have to go to work tomorrow? Sigh. But at the end of the day, I know it’s all just finding EXCUSES. If I really wanted to, I would. My friend Huda has 4 small kids and she managed to khatam Quran this Ramadan. Toots memorised one whole juzuk in the Quran. Asma’ basically lived in the mosque in the last 10 days. I felt down one day because hearing about them made me feel less of a Muslim, but Dean picked me up and reminded me to do it in my own pace, and that working and being a mom is also ibadah and I shouldn’t beat myself up if I can’t finish the Quran in a month. He was very sweet. But I still have to do better next Ramadan. Let’s all push each other to be, ok?

But there were highs too. Dean and I jemaah terawih together after work, I managed to cook quite a bit for the family, we spent a lot of time with both sets of parents and got closer, we buka a lot with our teammates which made us closer, we did some charity which was really nice. For the first time ever, we had one buka puasa at an old folks’ home. A lot of companies do hotel buffets but I thought this year let’s make it more meaningful and brighten up someone’s day too. A lot of people choose kids’ homes, but I wanted to spend time with the elderly instead – maybe also because I miss Tok and Opah very much. Being with them really opened my eyes; they weren’t a bunch of depressed and grumpy lot, they were soooo cool and happy and even bedridden, they were so positive making jokes and even being grateful to God for still living. My goodness, here we are complaining here and there. But there are people out there having worse health conditions than us, thanking God and making the best of what they have. It’s sooooo inspiring guys, you guys have to experience this at least once in your life. (One even watched Love, Vivy on TV – that one was my favourite bahhahaha).

Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin from my family, my colleagues and I. Eat lots and enjoy the day with your loved ones, and don’t forget to be grateful in everything we do. Till the next Ramadan, let’s always strive to improve ourselves!

Ok lemang time, bye.