So post-Tokyo means swollen feet because I walked everywhere there. My feet are still pretty shocked from KLFW and the crazy high heels, so Tokyo straight after is well, let’s just say my feet hate me. I was supposed to rest my feet after Tokyo but it was Raya and all (btw, Happy Raya everybody!!!) so yeah, not so much rest there.
Today, I limped my way to a traditional remedy centre. Our family friend owns an amazinggggg traditional medicine/clinic place and she is just amazing. She takes one good look at you and she knows what you’re having trouble with. She’s your typical garang aunty, will treat you while lecturing you about your food and how unhealthy your lifestyle is hehe. But it all comes from love, so it’s weirdly comforting. I’ve known her for yearssss so I waltzed right in and threw myself on her whining about my pain. With a “serves you right!” comment, she told me to change into the sarong and lie down. So I did. Even stretched a little… ah, can’t wait to get the massage.
She came back with some plastic noise. Her new massage oil, must be, she keeps raving about it.
OUCH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT.
Is that… is that a needle?!!!!!!
OMG IS SHE DOING ACUPUNCTURE ON ME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW?
OMG I’M GONNA DIE HOLY CRAP THAT HURTS.
OMG SHE’S POKING MORE NEEDLES INTO MY SKIN HOLY CRAP I WANT A REFUND.
Of course she wouldn’t hear any of it. “You want get better not?” didn’t seem like a question coming from her.
I’ve seen my mom do acupuncture before and my mil does it often now and it really improves her knees. But I wasn’t prepared for it. I genuinely thought she was just going to massage my legs, which would be heaven right now. This is the opposite of heaven.
“Omggg you’re going to kill meeeee.”
“Be quiet la you. I got no interest to kill you. Waste my time only. How are the kids?”
WHAT KIDS I CAN’T THINK RIGHT NOW I HAVE 10 NEEDLES ON ME.
Image from Google. My actual back is sexier.
I swear to God, I didn’t even look at them. I looked up to the ceiling the whole 30 minutes and did not move a single thing. Except for when my nose got itchy, I tried to scratch it with my tongue because I was too scared to move my hands. Omg if you know any restless human being, just put him in acupuncture, he won’t move a limb out of fear.
So Aunty came back and pressed some buttons on her machine.
Suddenly I twitched. Like literally twitched repeatedly. Like zzz, zzz, zzz, zzz, zzz.
WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY.
DON’T THEY SAY 1, 2, 3 OVER HERE TO GIVE YOU HEADSUP?!
1,2,3 WOULD BE NICE, AUNTY!
THANK GOD I LOVE YOU IF NOT I WOULD RUN OFF.
Well… I’d be too scared to run off anyway, with needles just dangling from my skin.
For the next 20 minutes, I stared at the ceiling and didn’t move at all. I refused to look at the needles so I have no idea how they look like. And for 20 minutes, I was just looking at the cracks on the ceiling and thinking omg if the ceiling fell on me right now, the needles would poke right through and I WOULD DIE. Haha. Ok not haha.
Seriously I never knew acupuncture was like that. I thought it just sends current to your body and you don’t feel a thing. But nooooo, it zaps you lightly and you kind of twitch like getting mini-electrocutions. I felt like one of those victims in torture chambers about to change and morph into a superhero. Like oooohhh if I had a superhero costume, it would be white for purity.. with a big V on the shirt.
To be honest, the actual acupuncture didn’t hurt. It just felt a bit weird and scary but it was more my nerves than the actual treatment. And the electrocution part is pretty well… unless electrocution is your thing, you aint gonna like it! BUT BUT BUT… I felt a WHOLE LOT BETTER after it. So hey, if I survived this one (and I’m the biggest chicken alive), then you will too.
I told Iman about my experience and her response, “OMG I LOVE ACUPUNCTURE. I get it just for fun and my favourite part is when they put the needle on the top of my head.”
What. Did. I. Hire.