It was many years ago, I was in the Calvin Klein store and debated whether I needed these pants that cost a thousand bucks. Of course I do, my heart says. No you idiot you don’t, my brain says. I’m not a big fan of what the brain says usually, and surrounded by fancy railings and pleasant saleswomen who smile at me and tell me I look good… Why can’t my brain be nice like them?

Ka-ching. Pants are mine, they come home with me and I happily put them on my hanger in my room. We’ll be best friends forever, I told them. And indeed we were.

These magical pants have seen me through so many things; pregnancy (they’re stretched beyond limits), fashion shows, giving me confidence to go on stage for anything, work meetings, fights with Dean, struggles with the kids, travel, heck I even cooked curry in them once and stood 5 feet away from the pot with only my arms out. God forbid any curry stains these babies. They’ve torn at the seams a bit, but Kak Siti always knew to sew them back, otherwise I can’t function in life. These pants have undergone surgery Twice. Hehe. #pregnancyproblems

I get compliments on them and they’re really a part of my life. After a few years, I see that theyre turning grey.. sometimes brown.. no matter how much I wash them. But I didn’t care. They’re family and they remain in my life, brown/grey and all. I tried to go to the shop again to find new ones for backup but nothing fit quite like these. I guess the pants wanted to remain special. The only ones in my life.

Today at lunch I dressed up a bit. Wore a gorgeousssss embroidered Biyan jacket, some satin sneakers (cool yet dressy), a plain dUCk to match and of course my go-to in life, my white pants.

Had such a great time but the kids were getting rowdy so I had to bend down and carry them a lot. But it’s ok, all was good. Took some photos with people, and walked down to the car.

Ahhh such a cooling day today, I thought to myself. The weather was good, I felt wind on my body, the breeze kissing my skin lightly. What an awesome day. Oh wow, I even feel the coolness at my back.. the top was loose, so I guess some air can come inside easily.. Hmmm, I also feel cold at my bum and legs. What weird weather.

Anyway, said goodbye to my guests for lunch and climbed into the car with the kids. Mariam was sleeping, so I was balancing my handbag and this 11kg I call my daughter in my arms. Daniel was with Dean but wanted to sit with me at the back, so I was wrestling them both in my arms. Daniel dropped a biscuit on the seat and I felt my seat to grab it before it breaks into a billion crumbs.

I accidentally grazed my hand onto my bum in the process, and that’s when I gasped.

It wasn’t weird weather.

I felt the wind because my pants looked like this from the back.

Let me just compose myself, ladies and gentlemen. So many things going through my mind. Did people see my bum? Was that why people were looking and smiling? How did they rip? When???? Who should I scold about this? Can I still sew it up? Can it still be saved?

Umm… maybe not?

The. End. Of. An. Era.

Cries.

Blood.

I’m pretty sure my top was long enough to cover my bum but stillllll I’m pretty sure I bent down a few times to pick up the kids… so yeah. There is a possibility that the waiters at Mandarin Oriental saw my bum… I always felt close to them because I go there so often, so I guess this is next level friendship? HAHAHAHA.

I’m still in mourning now, but I’ve come to accept the passing of my white pants. I’ve also forgiven Calvin Klein for not making these pants anymore despite me sending them angry phone calls and telling them it’s the end of an era. I have no regrets, spent a fortune on these pants and wore them to death, shared so many good memories with them and they’ve served their life’s purpose till the very end gracefully. Well, actually grace probably isn’t the best word to describe my exposed bum.

You will forever be in my heart and no other white pants will ever replace you. I refuse to throw you away, so into my memory drawer you go, you beautiful innocent soul. RIP, white pants.

And if Kak Siti ever throws you in the bin, RIP Kak Siti also.

#hugswhitepantstosleep