Gonna be honest, I wasn’t sure if I should share this particular post. 10 years ago, I would have not thought twice about it, but so many things have changed since. I used to be able to write carefree-ly about anything, I could be as bimbotic as I want without thinking of the consequences. Now, things I say or write might get quoted and I have to be more careful. If you have read my blog for years, you”ll know the significance of this post to me. If you just started reading my blog recently, then ummm I’m going to disable the comment box hahahah ok I can’t even if I wanted to. So I’ve decided just for this particular post, I’m gonna say a big I DON’T CARE because I owe this post to Younger Vivy.
The moment Younger Vivy laid eyes on it, she knew she had to have it. But she told herself, ok ok just calm down, your time will come one day, there really is no rush. Her dad offered to get it for her being the sweet father that he is, but she fiercely said no. Her husband offered the same and she said no, she has to get it on her own. So she worked and worked (in the meantime, she accidentally stole a similar looking one from her mother’s closet, but she made sure to declare to people that it is not hers. It’s just borrowed from her mother and may or may not return home).
Ok I’m going to stop saying Younger Vivy now because it’s weird. Back to me. Quite honestly, after having kids and having to pay mortgage and all, priorities changed and this thing I previously fell in love with just kind of got bumped down the priority list. Offers started coming in from various people to purchase this thing, but I felt like I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t deserving of it. Yes, I had some extra money (not a lot) after 7 years of building this company, but it felt wrong. It felt wrong to spend that chunk when I haven’t done so many other non-selfish things; doing silent charity, saving for my children’s education, building a home, buying insurance and you know… groceries and stuff. I’m not saying that I’m done with those things – in fact, far from! But I felt like this year was a wake up call to start doing more of those things and to continue doing them, and it felt really good. And I don’t know why, but the more Dean and I gave, suddenly more and more rezeki came back to us. That’s the beauty of Allah swt’s mercy.
During the long Raya break, I accidentally (may or may not be lying here) landed on a picture of this thing again. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It just made me drool la basically. I didn’t want any other colour, it was just this one. Just this ONE only. I only need ONE. Disclaimer: may or may not hold, ask me again next month.
I remember my blogpost from before. I made references about it in Proudduck many times. Well, Younger Vivy did. I started crafting excuses in my head. It’s very very very expensive. I know some of my friends have loads of it, in all colours, but I am not them. I need to be able to assess to my own self, not to compare with others. Do I really need it? Well of course not. Do I really want it? Umm yes actually. It’s great for traveling, it’s great for stuffing everything inside, it’s great for life in general la ok. It would go so well with all of my clothes. It would look great in my house. It would look great anywhere. Heck, it would look great in the oven for god’s sake! Omg I got the perfect reason…. it’s an investment. Ahhhh Dean will like that reason, I should say more things like that to him.
But ok, let’s face it. The real reason is because I simply wanted it, and I am buying this for myself.
And sometimes, you should just be allowed to reward yourself for no other reason than “I really want it and I’m not troubling anyone else.”
Disclaimer: Provided that duties have been fulfilled by the party, and the duties list is including, but not limited to completion of formal education subject to life choices, the existence of some sort of disposable income, the fulfilment of duties as a wife, mother and daughter, the fulfilment of duties to others subject to change according to party’s best ability, the responsibility to compare prices and quality and perform any background check of the item and/or seller and/or shop, and notwithstanding the aforementioned, the avoidance of any debt, monetary or in kind, in this whole process. See Appendix.
Fuhhh really lawyering up for this so as to not give the wrong impression to my younger readers who are still studying/just starting work/have parents or husbands who will hate me after reading this post.
Ok… now that all that is put out… are you guys ready?
Ala, you already know la! If you know me, you’d already have known from the first sentence of the second paragraph.
Isn’t she a beauty?
Her name is Ally.
The Younger Vivy in me is jumping for joy. The current Vivy has got to be cool so you know, whatevs, brown bag with gold hardware, this old thing.
May or may not be able to concentrate at work today.