look up
July 20, 2017I just watched this video that Aimee Song put up on her vlog and I was just like *jaw drop*. It was so brave of her to cry on tape and share that with the world, and it gave us a different perspective of what a social media influencer faces. What’s on the outside really isn’t always representative of what’s on the inside. After her post, apparently other influencers also came out and started confessing; some are depressed, some have no real relationships, some travel too much they don’t know who they are anymore, some are seeing therapists. And on their instagram with millions of followers, their happy selfies and gorgeous photos make us think they have the perfect life. It’s so ironic.
Honestly, I started reflecting myself. In fact, I always reflected before and reminded myself that life isn’t about social media only. Being who I am, I too feel a lot of pressure to post something everyday, to instastory everyday, to refresh comments every few minutes to see if there’s anything new. We all have this behaviour now and it’s become a norm in our culture. Honestly, I don’t think it’s bad if you can control it. But when you live for social media and always recording everything on your camera for your vlog, I think that can be dangerous.
I heard a story few months ago that a young girl asked her parents for money. Told them it’s for school. They gave the money to her. She lied to them. She used that money to go traveling because she wanted to travel and take nice pictures like Vivy Yusof. I was mortified. I felt responsible for her actions when really, I didn’t even know her!
I’ve written about this before that lives now are measured by how happy you look on social media, how many followers you have, how many like you get etc etc. When people don’t post for 3 days, their followers assume they’re either boring or in depression… or you know, obviously you’re dead. It’s a lot of pressure to keep up with postings everyday, especially if your instagram is the curated kind with nicely edited photos using real dinosaur cameras like the international bloggers who do this for a living. This is the world we live in today, the world where everyone looks down… at their phones.
Every event I go to, I see people instastorying, including me… “I’m here at the XX event and sitting next to so and so. Say hi, so and so!” and we wave to this screen that connects us to the rest of the world. More often than not, after we’ve posted that, the conversation with so-and-so also ends. It’s all so superficial and we have no more real connections with people. Young people now cannot carry conversations for longer than 15 seconds because that’s how long one insta story is! Young people now cannot read for longer than 7 seconds because that’s how long it takes to read maximum wordcount on a caption. The world is losing the real physical connection and virtual connection seems to be replacing it. Emotions are better expressed using emojis, people type HAHAHAH ROFL but they’re not even smiling at that time, people send kisses on whatsapp when they have never had physical contact with that person in real life. When you go to a personal and intimate affair like weddings, all you see now is phones going up recording around the ballroom, and the bride and groom even give you a hashtag for you to post things thus encouraging the sharing to public. Our lives are for social media these days.
On top of that, there is no more respect for privacy. Social media is there to facilitate and share, so you should be able to share what you want to. For me, I am active but I really do choose what I want to share and what I don’t. I hardly tell people my whereabouts (I usually post AFTER I’ve left the location for security reasons – that’s why I never like InstaLive, I think it’s really dangerous and people don’t realise it), I never tell people where I live, I never reveal my car plate number. So I get upset when people start instastory-ing me (and my kids especially) in real time and exposing my whereabouts without my consent. I met a few people who do this; one came up to me recently and say hiiii!! and I’ll say hi back and share a proper conversation genuinely excited to catch up etc, and then I realise her arm was up the whole time holding her phone because this is all being recorded on her InstaLive for her followers. I had no idea because I wasn’t told, and I felt uncomfortable with that. It’s fine if people ask first before they record you, but just to shove the phone camera in your face just to show people who they’re meeting and what they’re talking about… that’s just so odd…
Am I guilty of some of these above?
Absolutely.
Do I need social media in my life?
Absolutely.
Would I rather not have social media in my life?
Absolutely not.
So what do I do?
Like it or not, we have to ride the wave or else we will drown. Our world is too fast paced now so you need these technologies to keep up. But what we need to do is to realise we can consume social media, but don’t let social media consume us. I’m still posting curated content out of my own consent because I enjoy it. Yes, it’s also part of my job because I sell things, but I also do it willingly because I genuinely like it. But I’ve taught myself to control myself. I no longer refresh comments, I don’t feel the need to post if I don’t want to, I put my phone away during meals, I have proper conversations with people, I look at people in the eye when they talk to me, I look up a lot more now… and honestly, I never knew looking up could give a whole lot more meaning to life.
So guys, scroll away but always remind yourself not to compare yourselves to others, compliment people’s nice photos but never think their lives are perfect, take nice photos and videos but respect people’s privacy and ask permission, enjoy social media but never let yourself be pressured by it… and most importantly, look up and start living real life a bit more.
And by looking up, I don’t mean this ahhh….
-____-“
Hi Vivy,
Thank you for this post. It’s a great reminder to all people out there NOT to believe everything they see on the instagram. Personally, I feel Instagram is a bad influence to many people, pictures can lie and we will start to think that other people lives are wayyyyy better than ours and we have a crappy life 🙁
We have to be grateful and stop comparing ourselves to others, everyone has their own struggle and do not look at the outer side of people and start making judgment about how great their lives are. We do not know the struggle they have to endure behind the smiles, the fabulous lifestyle, the expensive clothes/bags/shoes and their “perfect family”.
Sometimes I look back at the pictures I have posted on instagram and I saw a happy individual who is blessed with “nice things” and “happy family”, little did they know that I struggle with my kids/husband “drama” on a daily basis!
To sum it up, at the end of the day, we have to be content with what we have been blessed by Allah S.W.T and stop craving for material things. I believe that the more content we are with our lives the more we will be rewarded by Allah S.W.T.
this is sooo true vivvy, there are many things we tend to ignore that risks our safety too, like for example my brother scolded me for using filters on instagram & snapchat because it actually screens our face and keep all the information.I truly understand the need for privacy as I have seen you a few times but my mom won’t let me take a picture with you because you were buying groceries and the other times you were eating, but I loveeee you vivvy
Hi Vivy!
Thank you for writing this post. I have done social media detox couple months ago for the whole 3 months. I was amazingly refreshed, and started to appreciate every seconds I have genuinely; small talks, deep convo at lunch, and more importantly my life.
I am not sure whether it is possible for your professional duties, but Id love to recommend you to have social media detox as well! 🙂
Wow! 3 months?! Good on you!
I definitely can’t do a detox, it’s my job to be on social media hehe. But I am getting better at having a more balanced life 🙂
Thank you MM, your mom is so sweet hehe but I would love to take a photo with you next time! Just come over and ask 🙂
I am so agree with this post. There’s one time, i tried to do as what people always do now, going to some cool place, do insta story. Jalan2 with phone with instastory on. Trying to be the ig celebrity. But seriously i just can’t live like that. For me, i feel like i dont have life if i am doing it all the time. Coz what i really want is to enjoy the place with my family, not with phone to the others! And then i stop and just being me. And i am much happy like this. Even though i need social media too as i am selling things online too, but i guess let me do as what i think i can do and the rest i let Allah do it for me. U r just an inspiration Vivy. If u happen to come to Jakarta, i would love to meet you! Oh ya, one thing that i adore, is ur preparation for Ramadhan and havung ur quran tamat. Alhamdulillah. That’s inspired me of how busy u r, u have planned urself for that!
Fashion Valet SG is closing down on August 2017 !!!! Why V!?! I heard you, Dean and family having holiday in spore few days ago but not once you visited the store as told from the staff. Are you ashamed to face the customers in spore & also the staff?? So disappointed!
Salam Vivy-this is such a great piece of article and reminder.Thank you for the insightful thought.I am sorry I thought you are a social media addict but I totally get that in your line of business you need to be seen with limits of course.
Hi, Vivy! This is such a timely reminder 🙂 I totally agree with the phrase “we can consume social media but don’t let the social media consume us”. I think its important that we remind ourselves every now and then that there is no need to bare each and every aspect of our lives to the masses/public. Some info has to be kept private for our own safety. Oh, and we have to always bear in mind that “what you see is not what you get”. I realize that we girls tend to easily be swayed by what we see on the socmed. That IT girl carries the latest handbag, we beg/borrow/steal money from others or we’d go without breakfast or lunch or dinner so we can save up and get one too (at the risk of our health). We see a “flawless” face on IG advertising a product and we’d go high and low to get one too. And its sad, really because sometimes, these girls are not well off and the money should be spent on things that they need rather than want. These habits are unhealthy and I hope everyone who reads your blog realizes this and take whatever they read or see on the socmed with a pinch of salt 🙂
Nice words! Thanks for remindinf vIvy
mostly applicable for gen y and above. for other older gen (most of them really), we couldnt care less about social media.
Maybe social media influencers like yourself can keep it real by posting the shitty, angry, sad bits about your life. Then people out there can see how life isn’t always peachy
Kak V! This is out of topic hehe do you read any email that sent to you at your proudduck blog email? Coz I have sent a few hehe
Assalam Vivy.. thank you for this reminder. I guess there is a reason why youre an entrepreneur in the industry that you are in and at the same time a blogger(a social influence). Alhamdulillah Allah has made you among those who can balance their life. Not everyone is gifted that way but I believe this piece of writing is the reason you are who you are. I pray to God that He continues to make you someone who influences others’ life for the better. I may not follow you on instagram but I cant seem to stay away from your blog lol simply because theres always something to ponder about in all your entries. You somehow can make people ponder about life and ingat kan Tuhan and I guess thats why I like reading your blog 🙂 May Allah bless you and family selalu, with all the fine things in this life and in the next.
I am soo agree with you Vivy. Thank you for this post. 🙂
This is soo true vivy. I deleted all my social media account after i completed my study. Fuuh! Malad nak tengok drama orang kat social media and ter’involve’ with their drama. I feel happier now. I dont feel like having some kind of pressure anymore if i get less ‘like’ on SM. But i love reading ur caption on IG. I followed ur IG dulu, and still read ur blog until now. U are a great women vivy, and u inspire me so much. May Allah bless u and ur family. Love, xoxo
Assalamu’alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu Vivy 🙂
In Malaysia, we don’t really know about “The Evil Eye”. It is mentioned numerous times in Hadith Sahīh. If I am not wrong, according to Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan, it is actually the reason why the brothers of Nabi Yusuf (as) entered Egypt from different doors – this is to protect themselves from the Evil Eye.
Basically, the Evil Eye is something bad which would inflict others when people praise them or feel envious of them. Whenever the Evil Eye inflicts, something bad would happen, usually immediately – such as the loss of the blessing, depression, hardships etc. That is really why people who are famous, rich and beautiful would almost always suffer in spite of having everything – unless they are being protected by du’as and adhkars.
People who live in Arab countries are very, very wary of this. Here is a little write-up about this 👇
Evil Eye is more dangerous than Black Magic!
Many times clients come to the clinic believing that they are afflicted with Black Magic, but in reality they are suffering in their health, wealth and families due to Evil Eye. Most people are negligent in protecting themselves with the recommended daily Adkhar (morning and evening duas) and do not worry about showing off their blessings; posting every detail of their life on social media, snap chatting everything from their new clothes, cars to children. Know that not everyone who sees your story will invoke the blessings of Allah upon you. In showing off your blessings you will undoubtably cause envy in may hearts and suffer the consequences. I get asked a lot about which is worse, Black Magic or Evil Eye, well based on the evidence from the hadith of Rasul Allah, Evil is lethal and if not treated correctly WILL KILL YOU.
Narrated by Jabir, Rasul Allah said :
“Most of those who die among my ummah (followers) die because of the will and decree of Allah, and then because of the evil eye.”
(With regard to the hadeeth that you mention, “One third of those who are in the grave are there because of the evil eye,” we do not know how sound it is, but the author of Nayl al-Awtar said that al-Bazzar narrated with a hasan isnad (sound chain of narrators) from Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Most of those who die among my ummah (followers) die because of the will and decree of Allah, and then because of the evil eye.”)
Imam Ahmad, Malik, al-Nasai and Ibn Hibban narrated from Sahl ibn Haneef that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came out and traveled with him towards Makkah, until they were in the mountain pass of al-Kharar in al-Jahfah. There Sahl ibn Haneef did ghusl (bathed), and he was a handsome white-skinned man with beautiful skin. ‘Amir ibn Rabee’ah, one of Banu ‘Adiyy ibn K’ab looked at him whilst he was doing ghusl and said: “I have never seen such beautiful skin as this, not even the skin of a virgin,” and Sahl fell to the ground. They went to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, can you do anything for Sahl, because by Allah he cannot raise his head.” He said, “Do you accuse anyone with regard to him?” They said, “‘Amir ibn Rabee’ah looked at him.” So the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) called ‘Amir and rebuked him strongly. He said, “WHY WOULD ONE OF YOU KILL HIS BROTHER? If you see something that you like, then pray for blessing for him.” Then he said to him, “Wash yourself for him.” So he washed his face, hands, forearms, knees and the sides of his feet, and inside his izaar (lower garment) in the vessel. Then that water was poured over him, and a man poured it over his head and back from behind. He did that to him, then Sahl got up and joined the people and there was nothing wrong with him. Classed as saheeh (authentic) by al-Albani in al-Mishkat.
The Muslim has to protect himself against the devils among the evil jinn and mankind, by having strong faith in Allah and by putting his trust in Him and seeking refuge with Him and beseeching Him, reciting the prayers for protection narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), reciting al-Mu’awwadhatayn [the last two surahs of the Quran], Surat al-Ikhlas, Surat al-Fatihah, and ayat al-Kursi.
Du’as for protection include the following:
A’oodhu bi kalimat-illah il-tammati min sharri ma khalaqa (I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah from the evil of that which He has created).
A’oodhu bi kalimat-illah il-tammati min ghadabihi wa ‘iqabihi, wa min sharri ‘ibadihi wa min hamazat al-shayateeni wa an yahduroon (I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah from His wrath and punishment, from the evil of His slaves and from the evil promptings of the devils and from their presence).
And one may recite the words of Allah:
“Hasbi Allahu la ilaha illa huwa, ‘alayhi tawakkaltu wa huwa Rabb ul-‘arsh il-‘azeem
(Allaah is sufficient for me. La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He) in Him I put my trust and He is the Lord of the Mighty Throne).”
Please be careful and STOP posting ever single detail of your life on social media!
Hi vivy. I really need this self reminder in my state right now because i keep on looking down on myself because i don’t have what they have (they post on instagram normally), i don’t get to go to places like they have and so on. Sometimes, i forget to remind myself to be grateful. Love you.
Hi vivy. I really need this self reminder in my state right now because i keep on looking down on myself because i don’t have what they have (they post on instagram normally), i don’t get to go to places like they have and so on. Sometimes, i forget to remind myself to be grateful. Love you.
Hi! 😊 I admit I get caught up in social media too, in terms of the amount of time I spend. But I try to reduce it for example by reading books instead. I also put effort but not too much on pictures and editing. It doesn’t bother me if my posted pictures are not pretty as I hope them to be – it is what it is, my dailies 😊
I am just a nobody writing in this comment section, but I hope this is a platform enough for me to reach to some 😊 Please please I beg don’t believe everything we see or read on social media and also not to be the person on the other side of the table to post untrue postings. Whether we are happy or sad, it’s fine. If we potray a facade it doesn’t only impact us heavily but also other people too. I guess what I am trying to say is to stay true 😊
And health/cosmetic product endorsements that are dangerous to us.. *cry*
During some of my travels I noticed there are countries where the people spend less amount on the phone than us. Kids go out to play, no phones while socializing e.g family dinner, greet their neighbours and swap meals. It’s so refreshing.
Yes social media is important, it makes the world goes skips a little bit faster. All is good as long as not overboard ❤️
Haha that ending tho :p Yes Vivy, I can feel the difference, a better bonding when we recently met, and it made me feel happy cause it felt (I just dun know the right word), but it felt real and appreciated. Keep up all the positivity Vivy and most importantly to take care of yourself first ❤
Hi Vivy, TQ for this post.. you are so true.. few times saw you and Iman at Empire Damansara but don’t dare to say Hi to you as I think you also should enjoy and have your own privacy..
My therapist told me, Islam doesnt preach ‘happiness’ but preaches on being content.
Something for all of us to ponder upon. 🙂
Agree on your post. Privacy is so important esp with social media which people sometimes forget. Everything can be tracked if people slipped their house numbers, their location etc.
I just met a friend who’s not on facebook and instagram.. and I mentioned that to her and she just laughed. I said I don’t really know your latest updates since you’re not on social media haha And I had a good time catching up with her – eye interaction and all haha Respect to those who are not on social media & on detox.
Thanks for the good reminder, Vivy.
Privacy and consent are important. I agree, I hate seeing people instastory everything all the time. If it’s for special events, I understand and it’s okay. But don’t instastory the movie you’re currently watching in the cinema! So rude to others.
It’s getting creepy day by day but yes perhaps it come back to us how to use it. thank you for great message and reminder. really knock our head and heart (in a good way) haha
Dear Vivy, whether you have the time to watch TV or not, I cannot stress this enough to everyone that you SHOULD WATCH BLACK MIRROR. It is basically our everyday life, in a more fiction way. I feel like everyone should watch this show, when I watched it, it definitely hit me REAL BAD. So everyone, take the time to watch this show bcs it’s super worth it 😌
Hi Vivy,
you are so true.. respect your privacy
Mamom Milk Booster
What a sick world we live in nowadays right huhu…Trying to look up more in the future, too!!
Hi Vivy! This issue of Socmedia has been spreading nowadays and I am glad that you are one of the individual who mentioned and discussed about it here 🙂 Honestly, I get caught up with social media easily especially with Instagram, the amount of time I keep refreshing on Insta just to look forward for new pics is just an endless cycle. But I do have this plan of two days of detox from any Insta and I hope it works for me 🙂 I need to live my life to the fullest <3
Hi sis vivy
[…] This post is something I never knew I needed. […]
We basically need to make a rule that no hp during meal & while playing with kids.
Slowly the gadget took our time from beloved people around.
The picture at the end looks like youre looking for 3G connection or signal
Hi V,
I love this post! This is what ive thinking before i start my social media detox, alhamdulillah now im no longer with facebook and intagram for almost a Year!