what my dad gave me on my 30th birthday

January 22, 2018

I still haven’t blogged about me turning 30 yet. I had an amazing day full of surprises but it’s going to be a long one so I’m still KIV-ing that to when 1) kids aren’t bothering me, 2) that will be 11pm and 3) i’m not sleepy. So umm, don’t count on it anytime soon haha.

But I just want to talk about one of the presents I got for my 30th. I was showered with gifts and I was really the luckiest girl on the day. But one gift that topped it all off was a gift money can’t buy.

It was this.

My dad created this culture in the family that every time his girls screw up, we have to write him a letter. I used to think it was so ma-fan, and so annoying – like hello, we already said sorry, now we have to relive the moment while writing the letter and be all sorry again?? Every time I write the letter when I was small, I will cry again because I felt such guilt towards my parents. He keeps all our letters in our Sorry file (mine is quite thick bahahaha #youngestchild #mostmischevious) in a locked drawer. Burst expenses, sneaking out, ponteng class, boyfriends, little white lies – Little Vivy has a gazillion sorry’s in that file.

On my birthday, he framed up one of my letters from 2007 and presented it to me at family dinner. I read it out loud, with a red face and the family had a good laugh. I mean guys, just read it, I’m basically saying sorry for buying a (gorgeous) Gucci bag with his credit card. How much more #firstworldproblems can this get?

Little One is his manja name for me when I was small, so I use it when I need to suck up badly haha. 

He even got Mom to sign on the letter as a guarantor. Bahahahahaah. #mommytakbersalah #takpasalpasalkena

It’s funny to look back now, but as funny as it was, this letter is meaningful to me because I lived this moment. I wrote this letter. I remember the feeling I had when I disappointed my dad.

Life is full of happy and sad moments, ups and downs. We have to focus on the good but we should also remember the bad because more often than not, they are the ones teaching us valuable lessons. The “bad” moments are the ones who make us better versions of ourselves. This letter came at the right time – I was sad about something and Dad’s gift of my letter just reminded me that every bad moment will pass. At the time I wrote it ten years ago, I was so scared of getting scolded that this was to me, the worst day ever. It didn’t matter that the issue is just about something bimbotic like a bag, but to 19-year old me, I’m basically so so so so screwed and life has ended. But years on, today, I look back at this memory and laugh my head off. It’s the same as the present time – we might think any problem we have now is the WORST EVER, but years on, we will realise it was just a tiny dot in our life and we survived it. In fact, we’ve probably forgotten about it! (Unless you have a dad who made you write a letter about it….)

So on my 30th, whether he realised it or not, my dad taught me a lesson; to never forget lessons learned from Old You because it helps strengthen Present You.

Laugh when you realise you survived a lot of “bad” moments, and know that you’ll screw up again but you’ll get through it (you should see my file, I said sorry about the same things many times hehehe). But most importantly, he made me realise…. that I’m going to make my kids do this too. Hahahaha.

Just sharing my Dad’s practice while we were growing up, in case you want to do it to your kids too. And hand out these letters at their wedding. *evil laugh* #prayfordanielandmariam