the ramadhan we didn’t see coming

April 24, 2020

Just finished our first terawih prayers together for this Ramadhan!

Happy Ramadhan guys!!!! We’ve entered into the holy month and we’re lucky enough to be given the chance to restart, refresh, reconnect with our iman. I know I’ve been slacking off so this is a good time to self-reflect and improve ourselves as Muslims. This Ramadhan is a huge shocker to everyone – how drastic the change is. The whole world is spending their Ramadhan indoors – no going to work, no bazaars, no mosques, no buka puasa events, no Ramadhan buffets with loved ones. Just us at our own homes this year.

I found myself tearing a little bit just now. It’s been 5 weeks that I haven’t seen my parents, and I think it’s hitting me a little bit. Miss spending Ramadhan with them, but told myself to toughen up and don’t be mengada because I can always videocall and communicate with them daily. Times like this it’s so easy to give in to your sad thoughts and layan them which will lead you to a dark hole of anxiety and self-pity. But if we really open our eyes, we can see the good in things. It’s really not that bad – I’m blessed to still have parents to love and care for and miss. And I’ll see them soon enough! *wipes tears, blows snot, flex biceps* I got this.

Quite honestly, as much as I feel a little tinge of sadness for this Ramadhan, I am actually quite excited for it. I set myself some goals this Ramadhan; to learn the meaning of at least one surah a day, and to not miss terawih this time.

For the first night, I re-learned Al-Fatihah again. I figured I might as well share my learnings with my followers on Instagram, maybe it can benefit them too!

I really hope I won’t disappoint myself again, and that I will see it through this Ramadhan. And I think being at home will actually make it easier for us to focus on ibadah because there’s no temptation to go out/work late/gossip with colleagues. And all husbands will suddenly feel the pressure to become imams at home, and memorise all sorts of surahs hehe. I think it’ll be a pretty good Ramadhan, Insyaallah. One that really will help us cleanse ourselves spiritually.

Anyway, I hope you guys are doing fine, wherever you are in the world. If you feel down sometimes, remember that you’re not alone k. We’re all in this together and we’ll get through this together!

And yes, Fadza desperately needs a haircut.