quality over quantity

July 4, 2020

Gosh it really is true that you change a little bit when you hit the 3 series. You’re more sure of yourself, you’re more choosy with things, and you’re generally more badass who can see right through fluff. Then there are the unfortunate side of things too – things start to sag, health scares slowly come and it takes more effort to lose weight. I mean, I could lose weight by breathing in my 20s. My 30s don’t offer that health package anymore. There are some 30-something year-olds who do, of course – I don’t like to be friends with those people. #jealous

But one thing for sure is that you start to filter friendships. It’s not because you’re stuck up (although I’m sure a lot would call me that), but it’s because you start to see life in a different perspective. Gone are the days you need to be seen at every event, or you need a photo with that celebrity – all the mingling and social networking was fun in the 20s, but they become a chore now after you’ve realised most of them were wastes of time. I had loads of those especially being in the fashion and business scenes, and I have no regrets though because I really felt like I lived my 20s to the fullest – but now, I’ve grown to become wayyyyy more choosy and I’m no longer apologetic about it.

Life is somewhat different now – work doesn’t get easier as we scale (the opposite, in fact). Family has grown in number and the kids also don’t get easier to manage as they grow up (how come no one told me that?!). Most of us live in our own homes so there’s constant requests for things that need fixing (aircond leak la, fan not working la, internet is down la, gotta call the plumber la). Parents are also getting older and have more health complications now, so our free time have shifted back to them (and honestly, this is true for all my friends too). Husband-wife time gets more scarce so you need to make an effort with planning date nights and all (let’s not remind me of my previous blog post ok?). If you don’t have help, throw in house chores in this mix too. So yeah… more friends? Even if you wanted to… HOW?

As public as I am, I’m actually very private when it comes to friendship. I can be friends with a lot of people, and I’m still the friendly bubbly me at events and stuff (if I even go, haha). I still love hanging out with people whenever I get the chance. But I only have a number of people I really allow into my heart. The need to please everyone reduces as you get older, and it’s super liberating. Quality over quantity – I honestly think this is the healthiest thing when it comes to friendship. Be nice to everyone, but give your all only to a few special ones.

Today is a day filled with fun friend stuff. In the morning, Fadza had his usual morning run with Marissa. (People around the neighbourhood probably think he’s cheating on me with her). Tasha and Seth came along this time. I was supposed to, put on my Adidas pants after Subuh and all. Somehow ended up back in bed before I could put on my top. Fadza took a hilarious photo of me – wearing half kaftan, half Adidas pants, mouth open, legs sprawled out in bed. I shall not share the photo, but basically it read “RUNNING. IS. NOT. HAPPENING. TODAY.”

Anyway, I worked out at home alone (see… I’m a changed woman at 32!) Soon after, they came back with roti canai (all that running and workout went down the drain…) and we had a sinful nice breakfast together with the kids. This happens weekly, but today was the first time I realised how much I appreciate these moments. Simple, happy, weekend moments at 9am.

Then Yusuf and Fadza wanted to race cars go for a relaxing drive with their wives, so we headed up to Janda Baik for lunch. Messaged Toots on the way and she took a spontaneous detour to Janda Baik after lying to her kids that she will just be out for 20 minutes.

That’s why. Want to race race some more. Padan muka, got traffic.

Fast forward an hour later, we were drinking coffee and eating yummy local food at this place called Kopi Ladang and having conversations about life and career and how one should always look fix one’s tudung when taking a corporate photo to be put on the website. Super random, but well, life wisdoms are random.

Spontaneous trips are THE BEST.

Tonight, all of us are gathering again (because we’re clingy) for games night. Kyochon reached out to my marketing team and kindly asked if they could send me some food. (NOTE TO EVERYONE WHO MAKES FRIED CHICKEN: YOU CAN SEND ME FOOD ANYTIME. ANYTIME.) What Kyochon didn’t know was that the marketing team is my best friend who also loves fried chicken, so suddenly they’re now sponsoring dinner for not just me but for my 10 friends too. And suddenly tonight is games night at my place. Marissa is a mastermind, I tell you. Thank you Kyochon, we love you!

Ok I better go shower before my friends come. But basically wanted to pen down my thoughts quickly – I realise if I don’t the momentum dies and by the time I want to write, 5 other life things have popped up. Life is that fast-paced these days. I had a moment today that I feel very grateful for this small group of people I proudly call my best friends. Thank you, God, for somehow uniting our paths along this journey of life.