being a mom

longer than usual

Hormones are definitely having a party in Vivy land right now. I just spent the last 10 minutes crying.

Why?

Because as I tucked Daniel in to bed just now, I noticed how long he was. And how he looks like such a big boy now. And how it seemed like just yesterday we brought him home from the hospital after labour.

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Today

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5 minutes ago

So I stayed with him a little while longer. And stroked his hair and smiled at him saying things like “I love you so much”, “You give me so much joy”, “I hope you grow up to be a wonderful man”, “I pray you are always protected from evil”, “I hope I will always be your favourite woman”, “I hope you never think your nanny as your mother”, you know… completely sane things you say to your son.

But really, when I was saying things about how I hope he grows up to be a good Muslim leader… I just started tearing. I felt a lump in my throat, like I really really want all my doa for my son to be heard by God. As much as I don’t want to spoil him, I also pray that whatever hardship God tests him with, he will be able to go through it with strength and ease. Whatever challenges that come his way, he will be able to whip them hard and rise even higher. If it’s true that a mother’s doa is golden, then I really hope God will make this doa Gold Grade AAAAA++.

Then, I couldn’t take it anymore so I went out of the room to the living room where Dean was watching a movie.

I stood in front of him, face scrunched up, tears falling down my cheeks.

Dean just laughed and switched off the TV.

“What’s wrong this time, baby?” He asked me, half concerned half laughing.

I pointed to Daniel in the room.

“Do you see how big your son has gotten now?” I asked, almost scolding Dean.

“Yes… and I really hope he will continue to get bigger and won’t just stop here,” Dean said calmly.

“HOW IS THAT COMFORTING ME?!!” I wailed.

Guys… I’ve lost it, guys. This pregnancy is making me wonky. I cry… because my son looked longer tonight than usual.

I seriously dread the day he graduates or his wedding day. I’m going to be that haggard woman in the corner with a box of tissue on her lap going, “Someone stop time, please. Too fast, he’s growing up too fast…”

Sorry in advance, Danny boy.

faith

help to rebuild

So for lunch I had a big meal in an air-conditioned restaurant with my friends. I even burped (usual thing now with third trimester) and said Oh I’m so full. Then I went home to familiarity and peace.

Then I just realised how insensitive I was being.

People out there aren’t even having such a fulsome lunch, let alone lunch! And we don’t have to look very far, it’s already happening to the flood victims in our own country. The flood has subsided, but now is the crucial time – the recovery.

Can you imagine losing everything? Your house, your roof, your car, your clothes, your EVERYTHING. Subhanallah, only Allah knows the reason behind all this. May God give them strength and ease to get through this, and whatever little we can do, let’s help them rebuild their lives again.

#prayforpantaitimur

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Amazing efforts by my bff Toots and her sisters. So proud of her for this! Read more about their efforts here.

And please donate if you can.

growing up

getting mad

Getting mad.

We’re all human. We get annoyed at things. Sometimes it’s really that person’s fault but sometimes it’s really not and we’re just having a bad day.

Some people lash out on their social media accounts with all sorts of bad words that I never even knew existed. Some people zikir, some people cry, some people sleep, some people keep it inside, everyone has different ways of doing things.

For me, I turn to my loved ones.

And more often than not, that is the best choice when I’m really mad.

Tonight, I was annoyed at something but I wasn’t sure why the feeling was more amplified than usual. I don’t get annoyed easily, I kind of just brush things off, but tonight, I was annoyed. Like I actually wanted to say something, but I calmed myself down and went straight to my phone to tell Toots and Asma’, seeking for their advice. (Usually I’d go to Dean first because he is seriously calm and rational when it comes to problems, but he was watching Top Gear so he had a huge imaginary red DND bubble around him). With my 2 bffs, they are the type that never encourages anger and they would reason things out, so I knew I would be getting good advice. True enough, I did. From being annoyed at that something, I realise that something has wayyyy more good than bad, and I ended up wanting to love that something even more. (That’s a lot of somethings in the sentence haha).

Anyway, my point is…. when you get angry, don’t act on impulse because more often than not, you will regret it 5 minutes later. Words might be uttered that are irreversible, or worse, the relationship might just be ruined. Take a deeeeeeep breath, and ask yourself these questions:

1) About them: What did that person actually do? Did he/she do it intentionally? Could it just be his/her character to do/say those things?

2) About you: Why am I feeling annoyed by it? Did I have a bad day myself? Am I feeling hormonal?

3) The bigger picture: Is it really worth my time to be angry about it? Don’t I have other things to do?

Ok those are a lot of questions and I don’t know if you’d have time to answer before lashing out anyway. Like screaming would be wayyyy faster, no? Hahaha.

But no seriously… always RATIONALISE with yourself. That will set you apart from the short-tempered angry people we always meet out there. We really don’t need more of those in this world. So, always practise sabar.

being pregnant fashion and shopping pd daily

anything comfy, please

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As I arrived (late) to tea, Asma’ immediately gasped and said “Oh my, Baby M has grown, Masyaallah!”. So kind of her not to say I’ve grown. See, that’s real love. *wipes tear*

I really do feel it though. These past couple of weeks suddenly I’ve been ballooning like nobody’s business. Previously, I thought my tummy was smaller than I was with Daniel, but Baby M is catching up pretty fast in the Let’s Try Explode Mommy department. It’s definitely getting harder to dress everyday, and I am all about comfort above anything else now. Which means I’d-really-love-to-just-walk-around-naked-can-you-please-turn-up-the-aircond-in-here. I can’t fit most of my normal clothes anymore so towards the end of this pregnancy, I’ve succumbed to maternity wear. Thank God they’re just a warehouse away as FV carries maternity wear from various maternity brands.

One of the cool ones is Nurita Harith for Modernmum, the first ever Malaysian maternity collaboration with a designer. I have a few items from the collection and my favourite one is these pants. Oh these pants… they’re lined with the softest fabric that you feel like melting in, and the fit is straight cut so it’s very flattering. There’s an elastic band that goes all the way over your tummy, so you can even wear shorter tops and not worry about your undies showing.

Another collaboration that I’m really looking forward to reveal to you is…. Noona for FashionValet! Noona is a popular Indonesian brand known for their ikat prints and this will be FV’s first ever collaboration with an Indonesian brand. Woohooo international waterssss! Hope you guys like the collection! Stay close to FV to find out when it launches.

Wearing Peachskin scarf from dUCk, jacket from Noona, pants from Nurita Harith for Modernmum and men’s watch from Daniel Wellington, from FashionValet. Bag from Roberto Cavalli. 

being a mom

all moms go through this

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It might have been the Boyz II Men song playing in the background, but as I spring cleaned Daniel’s clothes and shoes today, I couldn’t help but weep a little. Seeing all these newborn clothes that I vividly remember when and where he wore (I have that talent guys seriously… I can remember what you wear head to toe, that’s how I identify people from my memory haha), it really brought me back to the countless memories I had with Daniel in the first year of his life.

I wanted to clear his old clothes to see if there can be any hand-me-downs for Baby M (sorry, but that’s how it works with second, third, fourth, fifth children, doesn’t it?) so I had to ransack his whole wardrobe to select which ones to keep for Baby M and which ones to give away to the flood victims on the Malaysian Peninsular East Coast. Oh, those cute tiny little onesies Daniel used to wear… And I used to cuddle him in my arms and we would just gaze into each other’s eyes. No such moments now, guys. He totally squirms and wants to get away from me especially if the TV is on.

How. Time. Flies. Like seriously, one year just went whooshhhhh before my eyes. And before I know it, Mommy is being replaced by toys… and then friends from school… and then girlfriend/fiancee/wife… and then work and career. Sigh… it’s a life cycle, isn’t it? Our moms went through the exact same thing, and I can imagine my mom, many years ago, sitting and folding my old baby clothes to give away. Just like what I’m doing now.

All moms go through this, I have to remind myself.

But if you do come up with any freezing time device, please email me.

Oh btw Happy New Year!!! I had an awesome celebration with Dean and Daniel, all dressed up in our lush pyjamas and party hats, snoring away in bed. We are one happening family, let me tell you that. Anyway, I was going to write a deep 2014 reflection post, but Daniel’s old clothes totally threw me off my writing mood and now I would just like to spend some time kissing him all over. Brb!

being a mom being a mrs headscarves

appreciate each other

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Oh didn’t see you there!

 Excuse me, I was just having a nice cup of hot chocolate with biscuits, with a good read in my bathrobe.

 So I’ve been having a reallyyyyyy good day.

 *bites biscuit*

 Wanna know why?

 *sips hot choc*

 Hehe, annoying am I not?

 Ok ok seriously, after this P&G #StayBeautiful campaign that dUCk and I are involved in, Dean has been extremely sweet to me. Mission accomplished! Hehe.

I also heard that non-mothers also understood a lot about what mothers go through. Daughters are writing sweet captions on Instagram for their moms and ahhh this made me so happy! Thanks for all your support by hashtagging us on Instagram! Some I found:

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Here’s the video in case you need a reminder!

 

Dean said he has always appreciated me but he understood more than ever how a mom sacrifices herself, juggling work, wife duties, mom duties. So he decided to give me the “Gift of Time” by giving me a nice pampering time in a nice hotel in town. Just minutes before this, I was soaking myself in a nice warm bath. Ahhhhh, it feels sooo good to be appreciated. And I really hope you told your hubbies about this #StayBeautiful campaign because sometimes, our hubbies need to hear it from someone or something else. If we say it, it’s just “nagging”.

BUTTTTT….

As much as I would love this pampering to never end, I would also like to remind all women that just as much as we want to be appreciated, we must appreciate our other halves too. I hope your husband is awesome to you, because I know mine is to me. And he is showing me so much love that I never want to take him for granted. Yes I am tired and I need my rest. But who said our husbands aren’t tired too?!

Maybe little things we do can show them we too appreciate them. Taking care of our appearance and bodies, speaking in kind loving tones, making a drink for them when they come home. I want to make sure Dean always looks forward to coming home and seeing Daniel and I.

One simple thing I can think of is… taking care of my hair! Since Dean is the only guy in the world who can feel and touch my hair, I have to make sure it’s worth it! Wearing the hijab doesn’t mean I have to hide my hair and take it for granted, if anything, it forces me to take better care of it.

pantene

So far, Pantene has not failed me. I don’t feel humid in my headscarf and I feel clean all day. When I go home and take off my scarf, I just have to fluff my hair and it looks decent again for Dean.

A trusted brand that’s been in the market for a long time, I’m sure many women out there agree that it does the nourishing and protecting job splendidly. All of Pantene’s shampoo and conditioner contain Pro-Vitamins to help prevent and repair damage. Hair is sooo important to us women, hijab or not, and it really can set our mood for the rest of the day. Bad hair = bad mood = bad day = angry at the world. You get the connection, right? Hehe.

So my daily routine; wake up, wash hair, dry hair, wear scarf, go about my life, go home, take off scarf, fluff hair, greet Dean with small swishes of my long hair pretending I’m the girl in the commercial. (Dean usually asks if something is wrong, when I do that… so unappreciative of my sexy efforts pfttt!)

Speaking of scarves, hope you’ve gotten your hands on the FREE dUCk recently! Buy any P&G products (Pantene included) worth RM 40 and you’ll get to redeem the #StayBeautiful scarf.

(Please note that this scarf is not part of the Premium dUCk line sold on FashionValet. This is a special one-off scarf in collaboration with P&G only.)

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P&G has released the black version recently and also added outlets where you can get your free dUCk. Apart from Watson’s and Tesco nationwide, you can also find this #StayBeautiful promotion at other major retailers such as Mydin, Giant, AEON and AEON Big!

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Some pics taken from dUCk’s instagram.

Have fun with it and hope you will feel beautiful, as you are!

being pregnant

first stripe

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Yep, I saw this coming, guys.

My first stretch mark from Baby M came today.

Please excuse me while I draft my email to the stretch mark oil company again.

So far I have “Dear Liars, How are you?….”

Hope you had a (more) productive Sunday!