being a mom

me or dean?

So I posted up a picture of Mariam on Instagram and casually asked “Me or Fadza (Dean)?”


250 comments came in so fast, and I have concluded that most of them don’t know what they’re talking about.

So let’s try this again on my blog.

So guys… who do you think Mariam looks more like? Me or Dean?





Labour story coming up soon. Taking a while because I’m busy pumping milk and stuff… 

happy swiping

Sponsored Post

A lady should never reveal what’s in her purse, but I feel like we’re close enough. So here!

*topples bag upside down, shake shake shake*


I prefer having cards, I like using them more than cash. I don’t like to carry a lot of cash because somehow whenever I have cash, I seem to finish them very quickly. Which is frustrating. So credit cards are the way to go.

Some people misuse their credit limits and go wayyyy overboard, but so far so good for me. I’ve never been one to go super duper crazy. I keep all the bank texts I receive after each swipe, so I know what I’ve spent on and I keep track of it.

Anyway, the above paragraph is all the lies I tell Dean of course. I’m a girl after all. Sales and discounts? Emergency category, of course! Haha. But in all seriousness, spending is ok but let’s all remind each other not too go TOO overboard. Debit cards are a much safer route to financial control.

I always tell Dean I like to swipe more than give cash, because cardholders always get something back. Points, miles, cash back, and awesome promotions that banks hold from time to time.

Like this Bank Rakyat campaign happening now in conjunction of the brand new year!

By being a Bank Rakyat credit-i cards or debit-i cards holder and using them in their purchase, you will stand a chance to win one of the 60 Mini iPads by:

1)   Spending at least RM100 in a single receipt

2)   Transaction to be done by 15th April 2015


More info on the campaign can be found here:

Kempen iPad Mini

So if you own a Bank Rakyat card, start using it more often until 15th April 2015! If you don’t own one yet, you can download the application forms here.

Happy swiping (responsibly, of course)!

being a mom faith

mariam’s tahnik

On Mariam’s 7th day into the world, we performed the Tahnik on her where we lightly graze some sweet dates and honey on her lips. A sweet symbolic gesture Muslims do on the 7th day to welcome the baby into this world.




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I pray for all the goodness that Allah swt can give you in this world, Mariam Iman Shah, and I pray the ultimate reward for you is Jannah, my darling daughter. Grow up to be a good woman, kind to others, strong in iman, ambitious yet humble. Daddy and I will always do our best to provide you with all the goodness you deserve, and our only hope is for your happiness in this life and the afterlife.

being a mom being pregnant

pills, always pills.

In the AVA group chat we always give each other daily updates of our lives. Toots has been soooo busy with projects at work that her updates are always hours delayed and filled with crying emoticons. Asma’ is busy enjoying life traveling here and there, and juggling her 2 jobs as cake lady and fashion designer.


“Oh I’m very busy right now. I have a meeting at 11 am with this Mariam lady, and at 12 pm I have a negotiation meeting with myself and some jamu I have to eat.”

Pantang life is so fun hehe.

My pantang lady is very thorough and she’s kind but strict. So she was telling me that she wants to blend some herbs together (scary words like turmeric and ginger came up in that sentence….) and I have to drink it. The thought of downing a glass of murky brown bits in my throat contracted my uterus. Like not kidding guys, I actually felt my uterus CONTRACT and go up.

“Uhhh… V tak makan semua tu…” I said weakly.

That was lame, V, lame… I told myself after saying that.

“Eh, kenaaaa. Kena makan untuk baik,” she said.

“Umm ok but takde dalam bentuk pil ke?” I negotiated.

“Pil ada jugak. Tapi effect dia lambat,” she replied.

“Oh takpe. V boleh tunggu. V memang selalu sabar orangnya. Pil ok?” 

I swear I heard her sigh.

But whatevs.

SCORE!!! WIN!!! No yucky brown drink.

Vivy – 1, Kind Pantang Lady – 0.

Pantang has made me such a patient person. *bats eyelids*

being a mom

worst mother ever

Mariam is the complete opposite of how she was in my tummy. Inside me, she practically did somersaults all day and was so active I was so sure I was not going to get any sleep when she comes out. But I am so surprised that now she is like the nicest baby in the world.

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She only cries if she wants milk, if she pooped or if she’s really hot. Other than that, she’s so quiet. She sleeps all day and all night too, giving me ample rest. With Daniel, it was breastfeeding time every few hours! But with Mariam, I literally have to wake her up to feed her. And even then she goes mehhhh.

The other night, Dean and Daniel went to sleep early. I was with Mariam in the living room. She in her cocoon, me on my laptop doing some work. I was chomping on Daniel’s Koko Krunch (seriously breastfeeding makes you reallyyyyyy hungry) happily in between concentrating on the excel sheets of sales analysis. I was so engrossed in it, scrunching my eyebrows and in deep thought. Mariam who had her eyes opened and looking around for a while, just dozed off on her own behind me.

I think about 2 hours passed by.

Ok time to sleep, I told myself.

I got up, turned off the living room lights and tucked myself into bed.

Aaaahhhhh so nice to lie down and just sleep, I thought to myself. Slowly I closed my eyelids shut.

Was just about to doze off and then….. YA ALLAH, MARIAM!!!!

I hastily got up and raced to the living room.

There she was, unmoved, untouched, “un-awake”.

Phewww. Omg phewwww.

I carried her into her cot after kissing her all over and whispering Sorry.

Worst. Mother. Ever.

being a mom

a slow start

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I don’t think it has sunk in yet that these two are products of me, each I carried for 9 months and came out through me. It’s just… mind-blowing what our Creator can do.

To be honest with you, at the hospital, I didn’t feel very connected to Mariam (I’m obsessed with her now, don’t worry!) because I really really missed Daniel. I felt so guilty thinking about him sleeping without his parents, and everyday he came to visit us, he looked so confused. And it was even more frustrating for me because I couldn’t hug and carry him like I would normally do. The third day when the doctor said we can still stay in the hospital for extra observation, we were already packed to leave. Like no thanks, we really want to go home now, hold the lift for us, please.

How Daniel is adjusting to Mariam?

Well actually, he ignored her. In fact, he still ignores her but it’s getting better. We would tell him to kiss Mariam and look at Mariam, and he’d just walk away or say “No.” Few nights ago, we told him to come say Good Night to Mariam before bedtime and he stood next to her cot and waved, “Babai, babai.” -____-” A start, I suppose…

When people come to visit and they all rush to Mariam, you can see Daniel standing there holding a toy and sometimes he looks really confused. I guess when all the attention was to him and only him, it must be quite a change for him to adjust to. So Dean and I focus a lot on him right now. Since Mariam sleeps all day errdayyy, it makes it easier for us to play with Daniel, take him swimming, or simply just tickling him down to the floor which he absolutely loves.

Last night I was eating at the dining table and Mariam was sleeping but within my view. Daniel was there playing his blocks. Then Mariam started crying softly. Daniel stopped playing, turned around and looked around the living room for someone to help. “Mi? Miiii??” he called, looking at me. I pretended not to hear and just kept on eating because I wanted to see what he would do. Mariam let out another cry. After realizing that no one was going to help, Daniel went to her. He found one of her socks that fell off and picked it up. Mariam cried some more, and he stuck out his hand with the sock and went “This?”. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. So he does care after all! (Either that or he was annoyed he couldn’t hear Disney Channel from all Mariam’s crying… I would like to believe the former, please.)

It’s definitely a slow start for Daniel and Mariam to bond, but I do hope they grow up to become the best of siblings. Insyaallah!

being a mom being pregnant

pantang woes

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It’s been exactly a week here at Pantang-ville and how can I sum it up? Man… it’s been a roller coaster ride of emotions to be honest. If you don’t know me, I’m a veryyyyy restless person. I get bored very easily and I need to do something (ANYTHING! I’ll be happy to even potong bawang right now…) all the time. And I don’t like to sleep during the day so when you tell me I need to stay home and rest, I will ask you if you have a laptop I could borrow so I don’t die of boredom.

Sooooo…. asking me to pantang is like asking for candy from a baby.

Not impossible, but you’ll have to put up with the crying and whining and screaming.

This time round, the challenges are different. Dean and I chose to pantang in our home this time and to be perfectly honest, I’m loving the privacy. Only family members come everyday, as opposed to my parents and inlaws houses who have visitors everyday, so it’s been pretty private. Plus I get to walk around shirtless and not worry about traumatizing anyone. And I also get to cheat when my confinement lady goes home (Hi Mom, Hi Mak…. *slurps ice cold vitagen and goes AAAAAHHHHHH YUM*). So yeah, am much calmer this time round.

But the downs are there too:

1) Dean goes to work – but then again, I’m clingy all the time, pantang or not.

2) Daniel – I can’t carry him because I’m still a bit weak and this really breaks my heart. I can’t pretend to chase him around the house, I can’t carry him up in the air, I can’t wrestle and kiss his tummy on the bed… sigh. He is slowly refusing me as well, going “Nanak!!!” a lot more when I ask him to kiss me. I watched him sleep yesterday and all I could do was stroke his hair and say I miss you, my son. And of course, the waterworks came and left my eyes the size of tennis balls. I really really really miss my son and I can’t wait to recover and be all active again.

3) Uterus – my uterus feels so weak and the first few days, I felt like something was about to drop in my body. All the responses I get from elders are the same; that subsequent babies will make our body harder to heal. With Daniel, I guess my uterus was all shiny and new and young and can perk back up in no time. But with Mariam, it’s…. well, second hand. Takes more time to heal and me being the most patient person on earth, there should be no problem in the waiting department… note my sarcasm.

4) Stitches – Ok so how on earth do you expect the stitches to heal if they keep getting rubbed against our maternity pads. I don’t understand the logic of all this. Some moms actually put a mirror there and look at their stitches. Those moms are craycray. Just like the stitches I got from giving birth to Daniel, I don’t look nor have I touched or intend to touch them. I would probably die. For now, am just walking and sitting really slowly so that I don’t accidentally tear the stitches open. Omg just writing this is giving me goosebumps.

5) Missing work – I miss my colleagues sooooo much and now all the designers are giving us presentations of their Raya collections. So it’s really exciting times now. Since the buying department is under me, I’m missing out on all these and all I get are Whatsapp pictures. Booooo. Sometimes thinking about not being busy at work frustrates me, but thank God for group chats and emails! When Mariam’s asleep, you can bet I’ll be on my laptop.

6) How I look – I can’t stand looking in the mirror nowadays. I passed it this morning and went Oh dear God. Now it’s all I Love Langkawi T-shirts and Kain Batik chic for me. Sexy.

Ok so I guess those are all my woes. Somehow writing it all down calms me. Now I see that they’re not so bad. Could be worse!

As for Mariam, Masyaallah, she really is from heaven. She’s so beautiful and she’s sooooooo chill and calm and composed. A girl is so different! And she sleeps through the night too! *WOOHOOOOO!!!!!!*

That is all for now.

But will update more often. I am after all, very free these days. -__-”