pregnant and vaccinated!

August 10, 2021

You know that feeling. When you keep checking your phone every few hours to check, when your heart longs for it to light up. You wake up every morning and the first thing you do is check for it on the phone again. Food tastes bland, sky seems gloomy, mood is sombre… nothing is right until you get that beep from your phone.

That was me for a while. When suddenly, one day, I looked at my phone and there it was.

The notification read, “Your vaccine appointment is on the 18th of July 2021.”


Oh my god, this amazing feeling. We all can agree the most romantic date we would have in 2021 is our vaccination date. I’ve never refreshed my Mysejahtera app more than I have any other app. Going through my Instagram timeline was so depressing because it was just a whole bunch of people (my friends, apparently) showing off their 1st vaccination dose, then 2nd vaccination dose… and me, nothing! People were on their 2nd and I hadn’t even gotten my appointment for my 1st. Is this what jealousy feels like?

Me: Look at all these happy people getting vaccinated and showing it off on Instagram. Ugh.

Also Me: Wheeeeeee.



I had my second dose two days ago so I thought I’d blog about it so I can remember this experience. I mean, generations after us would just read about covid in history books! We lived it!

Let’s be honest. All of us were scared of this vaccine, even skeptical of it. Are we sure about this? What if I turn into an alien? Does Bill Gates have anything to do with this? But hmmmm I won’t be allowed in other countries… how will I go to London? Ok take! Haha. Fine, that shouldn’t be a reason but it played a part… I ain’t lying to myself – this is my blog, my safe space, I can be honest. What made it even scarier is that I’m pregnant and people were sharing scary stories of premature births/stillbirths after the moms got vaccinated – I kept thinking about the baby and my worry increased. But covid cases were also increasing, the variants are mutating and equally, there were scary stories of pregnant women not surviving covid without the vaccination. You either get scared of the vaccine or you get scared of covid – which one you want?

This was, of course, only a choice I could make.

I did my research. I spoke to doctor friends. And most importantly, I consulted my own doctor. All of them said I should rush to take it, and that my baby won’t be affected. I reminded myself this isn’t the first vaccine ever made, and those scientists know what they’re doing. I had no issues taking all the other vaccines, why be so skeptical about this one? I need to trust, I need to educate myself, I need to not just protect myself, but also the community around me. Everyone should get vaccinated. I decided to register for the vaccination and left the rest to God. Bismillah, all the way!

I shared both doses experience on my Instagram so I won’t repeat it here – did a Reels. That’s right, I’m cool.

Both vaccinations were super fast, super painless (I HATE needles so please trust me on this). I was so impressed with how Malaysia rolled out the vaccinations so fast, and I’m so thankful because it’s free too!

Now, let’s talk side effects.

Some get fever, headache, fatigue, other major effects, so most people will be prepared and take the next couple days off to rest. I did the same, cleared my schedule, got new books – ready to live in bed for the next three days.

1st dose: NOTHING! No side effect at all except the usual arm sore that lasted two days. Baby was also kicking like normal.

2nd dose: Mild fatigue that made me sleep at 8pm and shocked the whole house. I woke up at midnight bright and chirpy to a house full of snoring people, which was really boring. Usual arm sore that lasted two days also. Baby was completely fine, kicking me without permission as usual.

Slightly disappointed I didn’t get to be all lazy in bed for three days, haha. But the arm sore was a pain in the a** guys. I was so scared someone would bang into it so I declared “Mommy’s Arm Bubble no entry zone” to the kids, and I could only sleep on my right side. I couldn’t lift up my left arm without feeling pain, so I didn’t wash my hair for days #luckyfadza. Good thing is you can ask your husband to take things for you, lift things up for you since you can’t lift your arm. Highly recommended to “prolong” this arm pain for a week. He wouldn’t know cos “every body is different”.

So, that’s it guys. One for the books! I’m so proud that I’m fully vaccinated now and I hope you guys are/will be too!

Booking flight to London now. #iwish

mellow yellow

August 6, 2021

Yellow, in case y’all can’t see me from Perlis.

This week has been tough on my body – constant nausea, constant headache, and I had to take vomit breaks in between meetings. So I decided to put on a cheerful outfit to trick my mind into feeling more upbeat. It worked! Totally felt the sunshine cum Pikachu cum Digi Mascot vibes.

I’m reminding myself to always focus on the good, as always. So I’m gonna list down some things this week to pat myself on the back on:

  • Settled all performance review for my direct reports this week! Because I’m temporarily leading some departments till the new leads come in, I have 13 direct reports right now… #pengsan
  • Settled 2022 product plan for dUCk with team, and scored some really cool collaborations.
  • Did not cancel any meetings, despite wanting to vomit at my laptop. Still pushed through, with camera turned off (for other people’s sake… haha).
  • Had an amazing virtual session with one of the heads at Inditex (Zara) and hogged the Q&A session. #asian
  • Read 2 books.
  • Remembered to feed the kids. Except for that ONE lunch, whoops. Thank god for leftover pizza…
  • Cleared up the mountain of boxes in front of my house entrance. Been meaning to do that for weeks, so that’s a big pat on the back. I have floor again, guys. #happytears
  • Cut my nails!

Ok that is all. Hoping next week will be an even yellow-er week!

women’s handball

August 2, 2021

So I walked into the living room one night and saw Fadza watching the Olympics. Women’s handball happened to be on. And he was sitting on the couch watching intently.

Obviously there’s only thing I got from here.

He doesn’t love me anymore.


He’s enjoying this isn’t he? 8 (or 12… or 10) muscular women in shorts, sweating and jumping up and down catching a ball. That’s hot land.

What a jerk, I thought as I rubbed my pregnant belly and waddled as fast as I could towards him (which isn’t very fast).

“You like them, is it?” was literally my greeting.

Completely shocked, he asked “Errr… the athletes?”

My completely rational hormones took over and wailed, “YOU DON’T LOVE ME ANYMORE.”

And I didn’t speak to him for 2 days.

Get your wife pregnant, guys. It’s fun.

stretchmark sweetness

July 12, 2021

First trimester was awful. Everyday, I was basically a horizontal zombie with a few clingy companions: nausea, headache, back pain and Sarah. Oh, very gassy too, which you know, is a sexy cherry on top. #luckyfadza #menwhomarryforlooksreallydontknowwhatscoming

Second trimester now is so much better. The only thing I have is back pain and a constant urge to eat ais kacang. So random. Back pain I’m solving by making Fadza massage me – and we’re in lockdown now so he has nowhere to run. Whoopee! And ais kacang, I’m ordering it daily that I really feel if Grab was a healthy person, Grab is judging my order history like nobody’s business.

One thing I really do enjoy this pregnancy is having Fadza with me constantly. Despite the grumbles of having to massage me so much (I mean, Cikyah does 2 hours but hey no one’s keeping scores) and having sore thumbs (I mean, I have sore back, sore head, sore legs, sore *insert any body part* from carrying his 4th child here but hey again, no one’s keeping scores), he really does give me so much support. I vomited last night and he stayed up to attend to me. And he fluffs my pillows and gives me kisses randomly throughout the day. He rubs my tummy and doesn’t make “Whoa what’d you have for lunch” jokes. #muchappreciated

And the latest – he got me Mama Mio!

This cream brings back such memories of the first pregnancy with Daniel. We were so excited (swear we were excited for you too, Mariam and Sarah) that we bought all sorts of cream and other stuff that were so unnecessary like leg cream, boob cream… stuff that we totally don’t need but we’re so kancheong that whatever people tell us we need, we will buy. I mean, Mama Mio said Madonna uses this. #addtocart First time pregnant women are easy targets at the baby section in department stores haha.

Just thought I’d blog about it because (a) Fadza is so sweet and (b) the cream is so nostalgic. Can’t believe it’s the 4th round for us, baby. 🙂

PSA: Cream doesn’t work. I applied like crazy for all pregnancies and STILL got stretchmarks. But let’s not tell Fadza this, it’ll crush his heart.

baby no. 4!

June 5, 2021

2018: When I was pregnant with Sarah.

“This is the last baby, ok?” Fadza asks me, almost like a non-question.

“Uh-huh,” I say to him with a smile.

“No, I’m serious sayang. Three kids is just nice. This is our last baby,” he says to me, eyes not blinking.

“Ok,” I say to him with a smile.

“Why are you smiling? I’m serious!” Fadza says.

“Ok, ok, very serious.” I reply ending the conversation.

Today, in 2021:


I’m pregnant again! Baby No. 4 is coming, Insyaallah 🙂

Our “last” baby again.