8 years of marriage

June 29, 2020

There comes a time in your life where your husband will start forgetting anniversaries. You know what to do, ladies… you give him the silent treatment, then when he asks you what’s wrong, you say Nothing followed by more silent treatment. Inside your heart, you’re thinking HOW COULD HE FORGET OUR DAY-HAS HE STOPPED LOVING ME-IS IT BECAUSE I HAVE STRETCHMARKS NOW-HOW DARE HE. Then he will ask again if anything’s wrong. Again, you say “Nothing.” We know the drill.

But then one day down the road, karma will bite you back in the butt because God has a sense of humour. Somewhere, somehow, you will forget one anniversary. And that is the time he suddenly decides to remember it. Oh the amount of gloating you will hear. The tables have turned. WHY. DID. YOU, NOT. SET. A. REMINDER. You will ask yourself.

29 June 2012 was the day I became a Puan. Fadza shook my dad’s hand, gave him 300 bucks and voila I was his. Haha. Gotta say though, till today, that day marked one of the happiest days of my life. (Almost as happy as the day I discovered 3-layer tea. I mean, gula melaka in teh ais? Genius.). 8 years on, there hasn’t been a day I’m not grateful for Fadza in my life and my love for him just grows and grows that I never knew it could grow any more than yesterday. *insert more cheesy stuff. Your friend here needs to redeem herself…*

In the morning, he looked at me all googly-eyed. He woke me up early to pray Subuh and asked if I wanted to have breakfast with him. Awww, I thought. So we went for breakfast, he held my hand so tight, and just looked at me with love as I ate my mushroom pastry. Maybe he has his period, I thought. We got to the office, and he carried all my bags, gave me a kiss on the head and told me he loved me. Like wow, he was SO NICE. He’s always nice, of course, but this time, extra nice and loving. And this continued throughout the day. He said he’s taking me out to a nice dinner and I was like yes I deserve that.

At dinner, we talked, we laughed, we were very much enjoying each other’s company. Suddenly, dessert came and Fadza whipped up his phone to record me. I was thinking awww my husband wants a picture of me in his phone.

Suddenly I saw those 2 words from Mrs Karma that put a hugeeeee grin on Fadza’s face as he held up the phone to my face.


Oh crap.

He wiggled his eyebrows at him. “Someone forgot huh? Can’t believe you forgot!”

I was speechless, jaw just hung out.

“Oh, she forgot!!” the restaurant manager said and laughed.


“Umm….” I said thinking of an alibi really quick. Nothing came to mind.

“Ummm?” Fadza laughed, clearly enjoying this.

“I’M SORRY! Happy anniversary, baby!!” I burst out.

“Mmmm-hmmm,” he said holding out a bag of present for me. Oh shoot, I thought those were a pair of Nike shoes that he wanted to exchange or something.

Dior, the box inside said.

Noooooo. He wasn’t just the only one who remembered, he was also the only one who got us a present. Crap. Double guilt.

I wasn’t even sure if I should be grinning with this bag, or I should show some remorse and not smile so much. Later he say ungrateful. Very the not sure how to act here. Haha.

Let’s just say he “Nothing”-ed me a few times and that I’ve now set a reminder on my phone.

Happy 8 year wedding anniversary, Sayang! I love you so much!!!!!!!! I promise!!!!!!

Next year I won’t forget. K bye. *run*

happy father’s day!

June 21, 2020

Today is Father’s Day so Happy Father’s Day, everyone! I had a very nice bonding time with my own dad today, but will keep that private. This blogpost will be about the other dad – Fadza.

Fadza looked at me yesterday, “So what’s happening tomorrow?”

I look back at him, confused. “What’s happening tomorrow?”

His mouth slightly open, “It’s Father’s Day tomorrow.”

“Err yeah, but you’re not my father….” left him slightly hurt.


Of course I had stuff planned for him – I’m an awesome wife.

Mariam was the first to wake up early and run to her dad. “Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. I love you!” she whispered to him, followed by a huge bear hug from her dad. SO. SWEET. For Mother’s Day earlier this year, the kids scribbled some words on a birthday card they found lying around the house for me. For Father’s Day, Mariam handmade Fadza three cards. Brb, picking up the pieces of my heart on the floor.

Sigh but you gotta admit, this puts a smile on anyone’s face. A father’s love is unmatchable (except by the mother’s… haha KIDDIN! #notreally). This view really does warm my heart though. I hope my kids will grow up and see how much love they had for their dad. Except Sarah, she had more love for marker caps in this photo.

Outside, we had prepared for Fadza a fun activity for Father’s Day – colouring! I ordered it from @eventsbyazzwaa who is super amazing for every occasion.

And then for the ultimate present…..

You should’ve heard his squeal when he saw this. He unwrapped the box so fast and the look in his eyes.. oh my god, the engineering nerd just unleashed out of him. It was so cute. Kinda hot, even, if it weren’t for his sudden high-pitched voice.

“OMG SAYANG THIS IS BEST GIFT EVER!!!!” hugging me so tight.

“I got you a car last year. An actual car.”

But he didn’t hear me anymore.

He went straight to work.


He even tried to cancel lunch plans, but thankfully realised soon after that he had to feed his family. As you expected the lunch was really rushed because he had to return to his masterpiece.

Sigh, this photo. Look at all the smiles.


But I forgive you.

Because you’re an amazing human being. Thank you for being an amazing dad to our three children. The way you love them, the way you care for them, the way you discipline them – you do it so naturally that you inspire me everyday to be a better parent. May they grow up to cherish you for all that you’ve done for them, including the diaper changes at 4am that you will continue to do for Sarah. Thank you, my love, Happy Father’s Day.

what daniel and mariam learned this ramadhan

June 20, 2020

“This Ramadhan, I will maximise each moment and reallllyyyyyy make full use of my time,” followed by a list of things like full terawih, full fasting, full quran, full Islamic lectures, full everything! If can do extra, that goes on the list also – extra everything! Because that’s not enough pressure, I’ll add more things that my body laughs at because it’s self-aware,  like “wake up at 4am to cook for the family” and “not buy too much from the Ramadhan bazaars.” Basically, I have really high expectations of myself that I always end up disappointed with myself that I didn’t fulfil any of these in full. Ramadhan is always our peak period at work, so a lot of the past Ramadhans have been filled with work, and less with the Quran. I’ll always leave Ramadhan with a guilty “I’m going to do better next Ramadhan!”

So this year, I vowed to set goals that were more realistic. Just two, I told myself: to not miss any terawih prayer and to learn the meaning of one surah a day,

And it worked.

We took a selfie after every terawih prayer to commemorate this very different “date night” hehe. And it makes me smile looking at this. Who knew solat together could feel so romantic.

And as for the one surah a day, I didn’t complete it, but I still feel super good about gaining some knowledge of the Quran that I never knew before. I share my summaries of each surah on my instagram highlights in case it’s useful to anyone.

I dare say I had the best Ramadhan this year, thanks to coronavirus (weird to say that, but true!). The fact that we were all home made it easier to pray more and to read Quran more, and I didn’t have to take off hijab or take off makeup etc etc. Lame excuse I know, but it’s the reality being a Muslim woman. Anyway, enough with sounding preachy – conclusion is, BEST RAMADHAN EVER.

We asked the kids what they learned this Ramadhan.

Daniel first, since this year he fasted for a few days. First day he did it, I vlogged it.

Daniel: I learned that there are people are out there who cannot afford  food. And I got to feel how they feel.

Me beaming like a proud mom: That’s awesome, Daniel! 

Daniel: But I also learned that after a while you get used to fasting, so being hungry is ok. 



Let me try with Mariam then.

Me: Mariam, what did you learn this Ramadhan? 

Mariam, thinking hard….: Hmm… Oh! I learned how to unbox Ramadhan gifts.




Also, thank you to all those who sent us Raya packages! You guys are so so sweet! Mariam and I did an unboxing video,  apparently Mariam’s only lesson this Ramadhan, sigh.

an intimate raya for everyone

June 1, 2020


I chose teal for the boys and matching Biyan kaftans for the girls.

I had a nice Raya with family as usual – nothing much changed for us because our parents live near us so we could still go and visit them, Alhamdulillah. Morning started with us having our own Raya prayers with my inlaws (Fadza imam everyone, he suddenly looked 10 times hotter to me that morning haha), and then we moved on to see my parents. It was a nice and intimate day for us, and although I felt super grateful to be able to see my family, I really felt for those who couldn’t visit their parents in other states. I know some friends of mine who had to spend Raya alone in the city and I know they cried, must not have been easy to scroll through social media seeing everyone else’s family photos :(((( May God reward you for all your sacrifice and give you a more amazing Raya next year, guys. Made doa for you guys. <3

I think everyone tried to make the best of whatever they can this MCO Raya, and that also meant decorating their houses! Toots had all sorts of decor including flowers taped on a full wall, ketupats hanging from the ceiling, old school Raya cards hung everywhere – I mean, super OTT this girl. Mimak, of course la, forever with her peonies and fairy lights and Jo Malone candles – that one, Raya in Europe feels in her living room.

I also had decor, guys, don’t worry. I wasn’t gonna let my living room feel left out!

Ready to see….?






It took me almost 2 hours to do this guys – I had to measure and cut the wire, tape the thing on the wall while cursing myself for choosing grasscloth wallpaper because nothing can stick on it, and hanging each ketupat and FV Raya packet on it, while making sure it doesn’t tip the balance of the entire wire. I mean, it’s basically art mixed with engineering here guys. Serious skill stuff here.

“Why on earth would you put a backdrop in front of a busy backdrop?” Toots asked in the groupchat when I proudly sent them this.


“I thought can create “depth”.”

*cross Interior design skills off resume*

A few minutes later….

God bless you, son, for wanting to save… umm, this.

moms are always the photographers

May 13, 2020

So Mother’s Day was 2 days ago.

The kids (basically Fadza) was so sweet they gave me a dried leaves thingy in a box… I asked Fadza what it was, he said decoration. Ok. Then they gave me a card that they found in the house that was obviously written Happy Birthday, but they crossed off Birthday and wrote Mother. And then they baked me a cake that Mariam already ate, and they put icing on it that made it look like Sarah made it. Hehehe. Bless them!

Fadza calls it art.

I call it It’s the thought that counts.

For my wish to my mom, I sent both my mom and mil their favourite orchids. My mom only likes orchids btw, because it’s the flower that can last months. #mostvalueformoney #sheshalfchinese And I was desperately looking for a photo of me and mom when I was small. I didn’t have any in my phone, so I messaged Dad to help me rummage through the albums at the house since I can’t do it myself (MCO). He said “On it!”

Btw, kids, if you’re reading this, albums are physical folders where you put physical printouts of photos inside. Once upon a time, we lived in an era where cameras were bigger than our palms and to view these photos, we had to go to a photo shop (too complicated to explain that) and actually get the photos printed from the roll inside the camera. Each roll can only store about 36 photos so you couldn’t take a gazillion selfies and choose which one to post on Instagram. Life was much harder back then. 

Ok so I didn’t hear back from Dad for hours.

“Did you find any? I just need ONE photo of me and mom.”

“Got. Here,” Dad says and sends me a whole bunch of me alone or mom alone or me and Dad.


“Me. And. Mom,” seriously my brief could not have been any clearer.

“Ok, ok. Be right back.”

Cricket sound.

The next day…….

Hundreds of albums in the house, not even one decent photo of me and mom.

You know why? Because:

(a) the first child’s photo: the second child’s photo ratio is 1000:1

and (b) the men never take photos for us women!

I have a whole load of photos of me and dad because Mom is the sweet one who thinks “Awww this is a nice moment, I’m going to photograph this memory” and snaps the photo. And when we have sweet moments with our moms, dads just smile and continue drinking coffee! -___-“

I went through my own photos on my phone. It’s a universal things, guys! The mom is always the photographer of the family. I have sooooooo many photos of the kids and Fadza. Me with the kids? NONE! Unless they’re selfies or the ones I actually remember handing my phone to Fadza saying “TAKE. MY. PICTURE. NOW. MUST. I. SPELL. EVERYTHING. OUT. TO. YOU.”


From now on, I’m going to make him take photos of me and the kids all day long because everyone knows if there’s no photo, it didn’t happen.

The kids need to know Mom existed during their childhood.

Mom. Happened. Too.