“You shouldn’t be nervous, you should be excited!” my dad reminded me at the dinner table before my flight.
I had mixed feelings going to a graduate programme in Stanford University in Palo Alto, California. Paid a lot of money to enroll and was going to take in all that I can, but I still felt a little nervous. Leaving the kids left me with guilt but I’m pretty strong in that department. My issue was more on the actual course and flashbacks of shy undergraduate Vivy came to my present mind. What if those matsalehs speak better than me and I get embarrassed? What if they ask me to get up in front of hundreds of students to give a presentation? What if they realize this woman actually doesn’t know much and I tarnish Malaysia’s good name? And the golden question of all, what if they can’t see me because I’m so tiny? I mean, I’m already short in my own country. Now, imagine a country where people are double the height of that tall Malaysian friend of yours. Gosh, they’re going to literally pick me up and put me in their pocket, aren’t they?